Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (hardest books to read txt) 📕

into my neck. The wind whipped my hair around and it flew into my face, filling my nostrils with that wonderful scent of his cologne. I buried my face into my hands to muffle the sobs that shook my body. Just minutes ago, I’d been in his arms, dreaming impossible dreams of a future that could never be meant for us.

A comforting arm landed on my shoulders, and I glanced up with teary eyes into Rick’s boyish face.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s not that bad.”

I didn’t speak. What was I supposed to say? Did he expect me to agree with him? How did he know how I felt? He must’ve seen the look on my face because his own face mirrored my pain.

“It is that bad, isn’t it?” he asked. “You really do love him, as you said back there?”

I gave a trembling nod, then a sniffle.

“And you think you’ll never see him again,” Rick added bluntly.

A sob tore from my throat as his words cut like a blade into my already bleeding heart.

“You know, Marc was right. Johnny shouldn’t be seen with another girl just yet. Not until this mess dies down; it wouldn’t help his case, if you know what I mean." He rested his hand on my trembling shoulder. "But after that, who’s to say you can’t see him? He surely seems to fancy you.”

When I still didn’t speak, Rick fell silent, too, and it probably was for the best. There was nothing to say; nothing that could make me feel better. What Rick was saying I’d already considered, then discarded. It was nothing but wishful thinking and hopeless dreams.

I looked out across the water, trying to see the boat, but we’d gone too far away and a hill blocked the view of the port which I knew the bigger boat was heading to. I drew in a trembling breath. Soon we would reach land, and I’d have to get on with my life.

“You should be safe here; it's not too far from your hotel and the room is already paid for.”

How did he know which hotel I'd been staying at? And how was it paid for when I’ve been absent for days? Before I could ask, Rick gestured towards a small pier where only a few boats were moored. “No press, no paparazzi,” he smiled. “Cheer up sweetie, it'll be fine, you’ll see.”

The boat hit the pier with a little bump, then it stopped, and I stood up on legs that wobbled as much as the moving water beneath us.

“Take care now,” Rick said gently. “It was a pleasure getting to know you.” He gave me a hug.

"Remember what I told you," he said as he moved away from me.

I nodded in fake agreement. I had no intention of letting myself get my hopes up. This was it, and I knew it. Johnny was already gone. Anything Rick could tell me was a pointless attempt to try to make me feel better.

“Can you tell Johnny—” My voice broke. “Tell him . . . I trust him.”

Rick looked confused, but nodded at my request. “I’ll tell him.”

“And—”

“Yes?”

“Just . . .” I racked my brain for the right thing to say. “Just . . . look after him, he’s—" What was I supposed to say? I couldn’t betray Johnny's trust, but I also wanted Rick to keep an eye on him when I couldn’t be there.

Rick nodded. “I know, it’s tough on him.”

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes. I nodded, choking back a sob. “I—"

“Johnny will be fine. This shit will be over soon.” Rick gave me an encouraging smile. “He will be ok.”

I wished I could believe him, but he didn't know what I knew. He didn't know that Johnny's impulsive getaway to the island had been nothing more than a suicide mission.

No matter how badly I wished I could be there myself, my chapter in his life was over. I just hoped that he’d find a way to go on with his.

Back on land, I watched Rick as he prepared to head back to wherever Johnny had gone. And just as I was about to turn, Ricks' voice made me stop to look back at him.

“He was going to say it, too, you know.”

I frowned, not understanding.

“He loves you, Bree. Letting you go hurts him just as bad,” he said. "Marc will kill me but . . . you deserve to know.”

Words stuck in my throat, and I opened and closed my mouth several times before giving up on speaking.

Rick grinned. “I have to go. Think of what I said, and be patient, all right?”

He left me standing there staring out at the sparkling sea.

My mind tried to make sense of what had happened. What had Rick said? Was it even possible?

Then I nodded to myself. Hadn’t I, on some subconscious level, already known? The way we’d connected; how close we’d grown in just a few days. Closing my eyes, I could still see the emotion on his face as he’d whispered, I’ll miss you. But he'd known it, too, just as clearly as I did. And the tears in his eyes as he’d looked up at me in the darkness of his room had been nothing more than a silent goodbye.

Finding the island had not only saved my life; my sudden presence had also saved his. But it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t change anything. That's correct, the brutal voice in my mind stated.

Sometimes love just ain't enough.

Two months later

Home

Bree

Months passed by and I never heard from Johnny. I wasn't sure whether I’d expected to or not, but his silence hurt. Day after day I’d woken up with the hope of receiving some kind of message from him, but the days went by, and his silence slowly quenched that little flame of hope until nothing was left but charcoal in my heart, and a deep sadness in my belly. He had forgotten about me. Just like he’d told me