Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell (fiction novels to read .txt) 📕

When the noise had in some measure ceased, Grinder again rose. `When

I made the few remarks that I did, I didn’t know as there was any

Socialists ‘ere: I could tell from the look of you that most of you

had more sense. At the same time I’m rather glad I said what I did,

because it just shows you what sort of chaps these Socialists are.

They’re pretty artful - they know when to talk and when to keep their

mouths shut. What they like is to get hold of a few ignorant workin’

men in a workshop or a public house, and then they can talk by the

mile - reg’ler shop lawyers, you know wot I mean - I’m right and

everybody else is wrong. (Laughter.) You know the sort of thing I

mean. When they finds theirselves in the company of edicated people

wot knows a little more than they does theirselves, and who isn’t

likely to be misled by a lot of claptrap, why then, mum’s the word.

So next time you hears any of these shop lawyers’ arguments, you’ll

know how much it’s worth.’

Most of the men were delighted with this speech, which was received

with much laughing and knocking on the tables. They remarked to each

other that Grinder was a smart man: he’d got the Socialists weighed up

just about right - to an ounce.

Then, it was seen that Barrington was on his feet facing Grinder and a

sudden, awe-filled silence fell.

`It may or may not be true,’ began Barrington, `that Socialists always

know when to speak and when to keep silent, but the present occasion

hardly seemed a suitable one to discuss such subjects.

`We are here today as friends and want to forget our differences and

enjoy ourselves for a few hours. But after what Mr Grinder has said I

am quite ready to reply to him to the best of my ability.

`The fact that I am a Socialist and that I am here today as one of Mr

Rushton’s employees should be an answer to the charge that Socialists

are too lazy to work for their living. And as to taking advantage of

the ignorance and simplicity of working men and trying to mislead them

with nonsensical claptrap, it would have been more to the point if Mr

Grinder had taken some particular Socialist doctrine and had proved it

to be untrue or misleading, instead of adopting the cowardly method of

making vague general charges that he cannot substantiate. He would

find it far more difficult to do that than it would be for a Socialist

to show that most of what Mr Grinder himself has been telling us is

nonsensical claptrap of the most misleading kind. He tells us that

the employers work with their brains and the men with their hands. If

it is true that no brains are required to do manual labour, why put

idiots into imbecile asylums? Why not let them do some of the hand

work for which no brains are required? As they are idiots, they would

probably be willing to work for even less than the ideal “living

wage”. If Mr Grinder had ever tried, he would know that manual

workers have to concentrate their minds and their attention on their

work or they would not be able to do it at all. His talk about

employers being not only the masters but the “friends” of their

workmen is also mere claptrap because he knows as well as we do, that

no matter how good or benevolent an employer may be, no matter how

much he might desire to give his men good conditions, it is impossible

for him to do so, because he has to compete against other employers

who do not do that. It is the bad employer - the sweating,

slave-driving employer - who sets the pace and the others have to

adopt the same methods - very often against their inclinations - or

they would not be able to compete with him. If any employer today

were to resolve to pay his workmen not less wages than he would be

able to live upon in comfort himself, that he would not require them

to do more work in a day than he himself would like to perform every

day of his own life, Mr Grinder knows as well as we do that such an

employer would be bankrupt in a month; because he would not be able to

get any work except by taking it at the same price as the sweaters and

the slave-drivers.

`He also tells us that the interests of masters and men are identical;

but if an employer has a contract, it is to his interest to get the

work done as soon as possible; the sooner it is done the more profit

he will make; but the more quickly it is done, the sooner will the men

be out of employment. How then can it be true that their interests

are identical?

`Again, let us suppose that an employer is, say, thirty years of age

when he commences business, and that he carries it on for twenty

years. Let us assume that he employs forty men more or less regularly

during that period and that the average age of these men is also

thirty years at the time the employer commences business. At the end

of the twenty years it usually happens that the employer has made

enough money to enable him to live for the remainder of his life in

ease and comfort. But what about the workman? All through those

twenty years they have earned but a bare living wage and have had to

endure such privations that those who are not already dead are broken

in health.

`In the case of the employer there had been twenty years of steady

progress towards ease and leisure and independence. In the case of

the majority of the men there were twenty years of deterioration,

twenty years of steady, continuous and hopeless progress towards

physical and mental inefficiency: towards the scrap-heap, the

workhouse, and premature death. What is it but false, misleading,

nonsensical claptrap to say that their interests were identical with

those of their employer?

`Such talk as that is not likely to deceive any but children or fools.

We are not children, but it is very evident that Mr Grinder thinks

that we are fools.

`Occasionally it happens, through one or more of a hundred different

circumstances over which he has no control, or through some error of

judgement, that after many years of laborious mental work an employer

is overtaken by misfortune, and finds himself no better and even worse

off than when he started; but these are exceptional cases, and even if

he becomes absolutely bankrupt he is no worse off than the majority of

the workmen.

`At the same time it is quite true that the real interests of

employers and workmen are the same, but not in the sense that Mr

Grinder would have us believe. Under the existing system of society

but a very few people, no matter how well off they may be, can be

certain that they or their children will not eventually come to want;

and even those who think they are secure themselves, find their

happiness diminished by the knowledge of the poverty and misery that

surrounds them on every side.

`In that sense only is it true that the interests of masters and men

are identical, for it is to the interest of all, both rich and poor,

to help to destroy a system that inflicts suffering upon the many and

allows true happiness to none. It is to the interest of all to try

and find a better way.’

Here Crass jumped up and interrupted, shouting out that they hadn’t

come there to listen to a lot of speechmaking - a remark that was

greeted with unbounded applause by most of those present. Loud cries

of `Hear, hear!’ resounded through the room, and the Semidrunk

suggested that someone should sing a song.

The men who had clamoured for a speech from Owen said nothing, and Mr

Grinder, who had been feeling rather uncomfortable, was secretly very

glad of the interruption.

The Semidrunk’s suggestion that someone should sing a song was

received with unqualified approbation by everybody, including

Barrington and the other Socialists, who desired nothing better than

that the time should be passed in a manner suitable to the occasion.

The landlord’s daughter, a rosy girl of about twenty years of age, in

a pink print dress, sat down at the piano, and the Semidrunk, taking

his place at the side of the instrument and facing the audience, sang

the first song with appropriate gestures, the chorus being rendered

enthusiastically by the full strength of the company, including

Misery, who by this time was slightly drunk from drinking gin and

ginger beer:

`Come, come, come an’ ‘ave a drink with me

Down by the ole Bull and Bush.

Come, come, come an’ shake ‘ands with me

Down by the ole Bull and Bush.

Wot cheer me little Germin band!

Fol the diddle di do!

Come an’ take ‘old of me ‘and

Come, come, come an’ ‘ave a drink with me,

Down by the old Bull and Bush,

Bush! Bush!’

Protracted knocking on the tables greeted the end of the song, but as

the Semidrunk knew no other except odd verses and choruses, he called

upon Crass for the next, and that gentleman accordingly sang `Work,

Boys, Work’ to the tune of `Tramp, tramp, tramp, the boys are

marching’. As this song is the Marseillaise of the Tariff Reform

Party, voicing as it does the highest ideals of the Tory workmen of

this country, it was an unqualified success, for most of them were

Conservatives.

`Now I’m not a wealthy man,

But I lives upon a plan

Wot will render me as ‘appy as a King;

An’ if you will allow, I’ll sing it to you now,

For time you know is always on the wing.

Work, boys, work and be contented

So long as you’ve enough to buy a meal.

For if you will but try, you’ll be wealthy - bye and bye -

If you’ll only put yer shoulder to the wheel.’

`Altogether, boys,’ shouted Grinder, who was a strong Tariff Reformer,

and was delighted to see that most of the men were of the same way of

thinking; and the `boys’ roared out the chorus once more:

Work, boys, work and be contented

So long as you’ve enough to buy a meal

For if you will but try, you’ll be wealthy - bye and bye

If you’ll only put your shoulder to the wheel.

As they sang the words of this noble chorus the Tories seemed to

become inspired with lofty enthusiasm. It is of course impossible to

say for certain, but probably as they sang there arose before their

exalted imaginations, a vision of the Past, and looking down the long

vista of the years that were gone, they saw that from their childhood

they had been years of poverty and joyless toil. They saw their

fathers and mothers, weaned and broken with privation and excessive

labour, sinking unhonoured into the welcome oblivion of the grave.

And then, as a change came over the spirit of their dream, they saw

the Future, with their own children travelling along the same weary

road to the same kind of goal.

It is possible that visions of this character were conjured up in

their minds by the singing, for the words of the song gave expression

to their ideal of what human life should be. That was all they wanted -

to be allowed to work