Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (e ink epub reader TXT) 📕

our Lord’s will, [27] and so it prays Him to let it be so; it

gives to Him the keys of its own will. Lo, the gardener is now

become the commander of a fortress! The soul will do nothing but

the will of our Lord; it will not act as the owner even of

itself, nor of anything, not even of a single apple in the

orchard; only, if there be any good thing in the garden, it is at

His Majesty’s disposal; for from henceforth the soul will have

nothing of its own,—all it seeks is to do everything for His

glory, and according to His will.

31. This is really the way in which these things come to pass; if

the raptures be true raptures, the fruits and advantages spoken

of abide in the soul; but if they did not, I should have great

doubts about their being from God—yea, rather, I should be

afraid they were those frenzies of which St. Vincent speaks. [28]

I have seen it myself, and I know it by experience, that the soul

in rapture is mistress of everything, and acquires such freedom

in one hour, and even in less, as to be unable to recognize

itself. It sees distinctly that all this does not belong to it,

neither knows it how it came to possess so great a good; but it

clearly perceives the very great blessing which every one of

these raptures always brings. No one will believe this who has

not had experience of it, and so they do not believe the poor

soul: they saw it lately so wicked, and now they see it pretend

to things of so high an order; for it is not satisfied with

serving our Lord in the common way,—it must do so forthwith in

the highest way it can. They consider this a temptation and a

folly; yet they would not be astonished, if they knew that it

comes not from the soul, but from our Lord, to whom it has given

up the keys of its will.

32. For my part, I believe that a soul which has reached this

state neither speaks nor acts of itself, but rather that the

supreme King takes care of all it has to do. O my God, how clear

is the meaning of those words, and what good reason the Psalmist

had, and all the world will ever have, to pray for the wings of a

dove! [29] It is plain that this is the flight of the spirit

rising upwards above all created things, and chiefly above

itself: but it is a sweet flight, a delicious flight—a flight

without noise.

33. Oh, what power that soul possesses which our Lord raises to

this state! how it looks down upon everything, entangled by

nothing! how ashamed it is of the time when it was entangled! how

it is amazed at its own blindness! how it pities those who are

still in darkness, especially if they are men of prayer, and have

received consolations from God! It would like to cry out to

them, that they might be made to see the delusions they are in:

and, indeed, it does so now and then; and then a thousand

persecutions fall upon it as a shower. People consider it

wanting in humility, and think it means to teach those from whom

it should learn, particularly if it be a woman. Hence its

condemnation; and not without reason; because they know not how

strong the influence is that moves it. The soul at times cannot

help itself; nor can it refrain from undeceiving those it loves,

and whom it longs to see delivered out of the prison of this

life; for that state in which the soul itself had been before

neither is, nor seems to be, anything else but a prison.

34. The soul is weary of the days during which it respected

points of honour, and the delusion which led it to believe that

to be honour which the world calls by that name; now it sees it

to be the greatest lie, and that we are all walking therein.

It understands that true honour is not delusive, but real,

esteeming that which is worthy of esteem, and despising that

which is despicable; for everything is nothing, and less than

nothing, whatever passeth away, and is not pleasing unto God.

The soul laughs at itself when it thinks of the time in which it

regarded money, and desired to possess it,—though, as to this, I

verily believe that I never had to confess such a fault; it was

fault enough to have regarded money at all. If I could purchase

with money the blessings which I possess, I should make much of

it; but it is plain that these blessings are gained by abandoning

all things.

35. What is there that is procurable by this money which we

desire? Is it anything of worth, and anything lasting?

Why, then, do we desire it? A dismal resting place it provides,

which costs so dear! Very often it obtains for us hell itself,

fire everlasting, and torments without end. Oh, if all men would

but regard it as profitless dross, how peaceful the world would

be! how free from bargaining! How friendly all men would be one

with another, if no regard were paid to honour and money!

I believe it would be a remedy for everything.

36. The soul sees how blind men are to the nature of

pleasure—how by means of it they provide for themselves trouble

and disquietude even in this life. What restlessness! how little

satisfaction! what labour in vain! It sees, too, not only the

cobwebs that cover it, and its great faults, but also the specks

of dirt, however slight they may be; for the sun shines most

clearly; and thus, however much the soul may have laboured at its

own perfection, it sees itself to be very unclean, if the rays of

the sun fall really upon it. The soul is like water in a vessel,

which appears pellucid when the sun does not shine through it;

but if it does, the water then is found to be full of motes.

37. This comparison is literally correct. Before the soul fell

into the trance, it thought itself to be careful about not

offending God, and that it did what it could in proportion to its

strength; but now that it has attained to this state, in which

the Sun of Justice shines upon it, and makes it open its eyes, it

beholds so many motes, that it would gladly close them again.

It is not so truly the child of the noble eagle, that it can gaze

upon the sun; but, for the few instants it can keep them open, it

beholds itself wholly unclean. It remembers the words: “Who

shall be just in Thy presence?” [30] When it looks on this

Divine Sun, the brightness thereof dazzles it,—when it looks on

itself, its eyes are blinded by the dust: the little dove is

blind. So it happens very often: the soul is utterly blinded,

absorbed, amazed, dizzy at the vision of so much grandeur.

38. It is in rapture that true humility is acquired—humility

that will never say any good of self, nor suffer others to do so.

The Lord of the garden, not the soul, distributes the fruit

thereof, and so none remains in its hands; all the good it has,

it refers to God; if it says anything about itself, it is for His

glory. It knows that it possesses nothing here; and even if it

wished, it cannot continue ignorant of that. It sees this, as it

were, with the naked eye; for, whether it will or not, its eyes

are shut against the things of this world, and open to see

the truth.

1. See Inner Fortress, vi. ch. v.; Philippus a SS. Trinitate,

Theolog. Mystic. par. iii. tr. i, disp. iii., art. 3; “Hæc oratio

raptus superior est præcedentibus orationis gradibus, etiam

oratione unionis ordinariæ, et habet effectus multo

excellentiores et multas alias operationes.”

2. “She says that rapture is more excellent than union; that is,

that the soul in a rapture has a greater fruition of God, and

that God takes it then more into His own hands. That is

evidently so; because in a rapture the soul loses the use of its

exterior and interior faculties. When she says that union is the

beginning, middle, and end, she means that pure union is almost

always uniform; but that there are degrees in rapture, of which

some are, as it were, the beginning, some the middle, others the

end. That is the reason why it is called by different names;

some of which denote the least, others the most, perfect form of

it, as it will appear hereafter.”—Note in the Spanish edition of

Lopez (De la Fuente).

3. Anton. a Spirit. Sancto, Direct. Mystic. tr. 4, d. i. n. 95:

“Licet oratio raptus idem sit apud mysticos ac oratio volatus,

seu elevationis spiritus seu extasis; reipsa tamen raptus aliquid

addit super extasim; nam extasis importat simplicem excessum

mentis in seipso secundum quem aliquis extra suam cognitionem

ponitur. Raptus vero super hoc addit violentiam quandam ab

aliquo extrinseco.”

4. The words between the dashes are in the handwriting of the

Saint—not however, in the text, but on the margin (De

la Fuente).

5. See Inner Fortress, vi. ch. v. “Primus effectus orationis

ecstaticæ est in corpore, quod ita remanet, ac si per animam non

informaretur, infrigidatur enim calore naturali deficiente,

clauduntur suaviter oculi, et alii sensus amittuntur: contingit

tamen quod corpus infirmum in hac oratione sanitatem recuperat.”

Anton. a Spirit. Sancto, Direct. Mystic. tr. iv. d. 2, § 4,

n. 150.

6. This passage could not have been in the first Life; for that

was written before she had ever been Prioress.

7. Job. iv. 15: “Inhorruerunt pili carnis meæ.” (See St. John of

the Cross. Spiritual Canticle, sts. 14, 15, vol. ii p. 83,

Engl. trans.)

8. See ch. xxix.

9. See ch. xx. § 21.

10. § 9, supra.

11. § 10.

12. Psalm ci. 8: “I have watched, and become as a sparrow alone

on the house-top.”

13. Psalm xli. 4: “Ubi est Deus tuus?”

14. Galat. vi. 14: “In cruce Jesu Christi: per quem mihi mundus

crucifixus est, et ego mundo.”

15. §§ 9 and 12.

16. Daniel x. 16: “In visione tua dissolutæ sunt compages meæ.”

See St. John of the Cross, Spiritual Canticle, st. 14,

vol. ii. p. 84, Engl. trans.; and also Relation, viii. § 13,

where this is repeated.

17. Ch. v. § 18.

18. § 12.

19. The words from “I have just said” to “our Lord” are in the

margin of the text, but in the handwriting of the Saint (De

la Fuente).

20. See § 11.

21. See Relation, viii. § 8.

22. Ch. xviii. § 16.

23. Ch. xviii. § 17.

24. Avila.

25. Ch. xxv. § 18.

26. § 9.

27. “Other will . . . Lord’s will.” These words—in Spanish,

“Otra voluntad, sino hacer la de nuestro Señor”—are not in the

handwriting of the Saint; perhaps it was Father Bañes who wrote

them. The MS. is blurred, and the original text seems to have

been, “libre alvedrio ni guerra” (De la Fuente).

28. St. Vincent. Ferrer, Instruct. de Vit. Spirit. c. xiv. p. 14:

“Si dicerent tibi aliquid quod sit contra fidem, et contra

Scripturam Sacram, aut contra bonos mores, ahhorreas earum

visionem et judicia, tanquam stultas dementias, et earum raptus,

sicut rabiamenta”—which word the Saint translates

by “rabiamientos.”

29. Psalm liv. 7: “Quis dabit mihi pennas sicut columbæ?”

30. Job iv. 17: “Numquid homo