My IMperfect Love Life by Neha Dua (audio ebook reader txt) 📕

The love feelings were mutual and not just one-sided only, but Steve could hold back his feelings for me because of his family, by being rude to me sometimes, just to make sure that I give up on him and my feelings for him and search for a guy who could value my presence, opinions and most importantly who could give back what he wasn’t able to give me, care and respect. He started to ignore the situations intentionally that I used to tell him, which bothered me. He stopped going out with us after office hours and continued with the person with whom I wasn’t feeling secured for him. He stopped spending much time with our group and again continued with his alone time. He started avoiding me at office parties. I kept waiting for him at every party and celebration that he would come and would understand how I felt about him and would not repeat the same.

With Steve being gone, I was dull and upset always. I tried to cheer myself up in front of my friends but couldn't fake it every time I see Steve nearby me, spending time and laughing with people around me as if nothing bad has ever happened between me and him. I started to feel completely ignored, I tried making contact with him again through messages, calls, waiting outside office premises, but it all went in vain. At the farewell of our colleague, I was shocked to notice that the girl for whom I was always insecure, tried to put her arm across his arm in front of everyone, but he didn’t bother to focus on them and since then we had been apart from each other emotionally, mentally and physically.

As everyone says, till the time you are in the same office you can’t let go of your feelings, emotions for anyone. I also moved on with my love feelings for him and started to maintain friendly relation with him. I was sure on this part that we couldn’t afford to lose our friendship because of the complications in our relationship. After 2 months, with any problem arising for anyone of us, Steve and I came together and again started to have friendly dates and hangouts together. We couldn’t stop being attached. Every night we had, made us believe that we can’t stay away from each other for a longer duration and stop caring about each other. The best part of our complicated relationship which we both loved was, we both knew by heart that we couldn’t be separated from each other emotionally, even if we try. 

Our relationship is like a rollercoaster ride, every time we cherish our memories, life has some more difficulties to put in our relationship. It was my birthday month, but we weren’t on talking terms due to some misunderstandings. It was like a nightmare, not to talk to each other for this much longer duration. He wished me, but couldn’t talk to me more than the birthday wishes and that thing was pinching me. It was like, so many nails are being hit in my body. I was angry with him because he could say sorry to the other person who got involved in the fight by Steve only but couldn’t say sorry to me for his mistake from last so many days and months. This fight spoiled my birthday month, week, and day but still no remorse could be seen on his face. As always like an idiot I called him that night just to solve the matter in between us, and didn’t bring the third person’s issue, even after being hurt, just to make sure, he doesn’t get angry with me. I was waiting for his approach to me and his apology to not let this much time be wasted because of some stupid stuff. But I had to move on in this friendship also, as I was the only one getting hurt in this friendship or relationship.

I had cared for him then, now and will always care for him. I wanted Steve to understand and have those feelings for me, which I had for him. I wanted him to feel, how it means to be “Someone’s Special”. How it is like to be “Someone’s Priority”. I will always wait for him to be mine again and this time forever.

With this thought and dream in my mind and eyes, I had left my country and moved to Canada to start my new life and to work there. I wanted to settle in Canada with Steve, but life had more twists and turns written for us.

"Wow, I am finally in Canada, my dream country". It’s been almost a year since I moved to Canada. I am working with a renowned company and have my own apartment to live in. I have made friends here. We enjoy roaming around and clubbing on weekends, but I had always been a spoil spot in those parties. I stay alone, don’t talk much with my friends but still, they never leave me alone at home. It is a beautiful summer day, a day full of laughter, clubs, and teenagers getting drunk. I remembered, how I used to love these days. I am living my life here as I always wished for, being independent and carefree, but still, there is an emptiness. An emptiness that can only be filled by Steve’s presence near me. I couldn’t forget him. I never tried to forget him. I still have our pictures together on my apartment’s walls to relive those moments. 

I am not sure, if Steve is married by now or not because we both lost contact from our last fight more than a year back. We never tried to contact each other. I don’t even have any idea if he even remembers my name or not.

One Monday morning at 8 o'clock, like my daily routine, I was getting ready for my office. I had to rush because of an early morning meeting with a client. I chose to wear a black pencil skirt with a white buttoned shirt that fits my body perfectly showing my curves. "Yes! You guys read it right, I am finally talking about my curves. I had worked out a lot to release my anger, sadness in the gym to get in shape". I reached the office by 9:30 AM for my meeting. I was getting prepared with all my office necessities and project details from my desk when I bumped into a guy. I bent down to recollect all the things from the ground that had fallen. I just picked up the things and moved to pass him saying “sorry".

I was in the meeting room waiting for my boss to bring along with him the clients. My back was facing the door so I couldn’t see who entered. But I could recognize the voice. I still couldn’t believe, how that could be possible, and washed off those thoughts from my head by saying, “Maybe I am missing him so much from last one month, that is the only reason, why I am hearing his voice in my mind”. The door finally opened and I stood there in shock for a minute. I couldn’t believe my eyes, there standing at the door was the guy, Steve, still handsome and sexy and perfect as always, dressed up in a formal business suit which has been his favourite attire always. 

My boss introduced me to him. We both were speechless at that moment, by seeing each other once again after one year. I could feel the same spark in me, by touching his hands. The meeting started and continued for the next 2 hours. I jotted down the main pointers of the meeting and the agenda for the next meeting.

The meeting came to an end and my boss invited Steve for a cup of coffee with him. I went back to my desk, still not ready to accept the reality that I had met Steve again. I was in complete denial when Steve came from behind and said “Hi” to me.

Steve came near to my desk which for sure I didn’t notice and said “I said Hi, but you seemed to be lost in your thoughts”.

I answered him “Oh Hi!! I am sorry, I didn’t see you coming here. I was busy arranging my stuff at my desk”.

He smirked when he saw that I was shivering, by his presence near me. He could sense that easily. “I could see that Natalie, that you are arranging the already arranged things on your desk again”.

I couldn’t stop smiling at his words, and started thinking that “He still had that same impact on me, as he had three years back”.

Steve was standing near me, watching me continuously doing stupid things to avoid making eye contact with him. He turned me towards him gently and asked me “Look, I am here till next Monday, so would you like to show me some places around here and have a cup of coffee with me on Sunday evening?”

I couldn’t say no to the man I truly loved and even love now also, and with a stupid smile like a kid and sparkle in my eyes, I accepted his offer.

I was eagerly waiting for Sunday. I couldn’t wait for this weekend to come soon, today is just Thursday evening. I was so excited to have a date again with Steve. Wait, what did I just say…? “A Date?” I am not even sure, whether he has the same feelings for me or not. I should stay normal with him and not throw myself on him like a desperate girl. I started to search in my wardrobe the best dress for my evening with Steve. I have so many