My IMperfect Love Life by Neha Dua (audio ebook reader txt) 📕

I started to feel like I was being ignored again in this “yet-not-named” relationship also. I tried to explain my point and he tried to explain his situation but that always ended up in a heated argument with both of us at the end getting hurt or me or him crying at the end of the topic and the other one trying to console.

Steve was always a mystery guy for me, as the more I tried to understand him the more I used to get confused because we both were poles apart with different personalities. Sometimes, it even felt like, we both couldn’t understand each other at all. He was a guy who once gets upset takes a lot of time and efforts to cool down and I being so much into him, couldn’t take that risk of losing him over such arguments or situations. I always put even extra efforts to get him back to normal because I couldn’t bear that loneliness again, especially without him. I could take everybody else’s harshness, ignorance, and rudeness, but I couldn’t stay even a single day without talking to him and seeing him.

I used to cry nights after nights, just to talk to him again, but he used to ignore my feelings as what I always wanted is his time only. He always said one thing that this is the best he could give to me, as I was the only one with whom he had spent the maximum time whether its office time, where I get to see him every day or on weekends whenever we meet. He couldn’t even spend that much time with his mother and family also.

I sometimes even felt that he does get angry on purpose so that I can put efforts everywhere to make him talk to me again because he had no one else to show his anger upon. Although, I never felt bad about it as I liked this fact that I was the only one with whom he could share his love, care, anger, frustration, and everything and because what mattered the most to me also was only him and his happiness.

Steve and I planned another trip to mountains with our couple friends, to release ourselves from the workload and stress and it was a much-needed break after the continuous working and to sort out things that were tearing us apart. We decided to opt for a place which was famous for its beauty, nature and some flowers. Steve liked such places a lot. We were four people on this trip. We started our journey by bus at night after office hours. We all were very excited to go on a first trip together as group. 

We were waiting for our bus to board it and start our overnight journey. I was very excited to be with him for complete three days under beautiful scenery and weather, near the riverside view again. I could feel the first time we had gone on a trip. I recalled every moment of that trip. We started our bus journey late at night and were very excited about this refreshing trip to the mountains. Steve was sitting on the window seat and I was next to him. The other couple was sitting on the seats behind us. We played games for two-three hours when the bus came to halt at someplace on the highway for dinner. I ate very little because of my less appetite.

After dinner, we all started to feel a little dizzy and rested on our seats. Steve and I were watching videos together about funny things and some informative videos also when it got silent on the whole bus and it reminded us that it was 2 AM and we were still awake. We decided to go to sleep for a few hours so that we can wake up the next day fresh and ready to explore the city.

I could feel Steve not being comfortable with the bus journey as the only purpose why he agreed to travel through the bus was to spend more time with me. He was a guy who would never complain about his discomfort to spoil others' happiness and happy moments. I offered him my lap to put his head on that and sleep with ease. He agreed and put his head on my lap and legs on his seat. I started to move my fingers in his hair to make him comfortable and relaxed so that he could sleep properly.

After half an hour, he slept like a baby in my lap with no movement at all and I was also being very careful with my movements, not to disturb his sleep. I started to feel very protective for him at that time and didn’t disturb him even at the cost of me being sleepless till the time he was resting on me. I was just concerned and focused on not to wake him up because of my carelessness. I always knew how much stressed he was due to all the responsibilities that he was alone handling without even asking for anybody’s support.

It was a sweet morning with Steve still sleeping on my lap with his innocent face and eyebrows frowning with the direct sunlight hitting on his face. I pulled curtains towards his side gently and went back to my thoughts about being with him on this trip. I was enjoying the outside view from the aisle seat when Steve woke up with a smile and relaxation completely visible on his face.

This view outside the bus of the mountains and inside of the Steve started my day off pretty well, as expected. We had breakfast and then resumed our journey, but there was a technical issue found on the bus and there was no other option because of which the bus was running at a very slow speed on the mountains. The travel journey which was supposed to end by 11 AM continued till 2 PM and then we had to change our bus again to reach our destination.

We reached our hotel at 4 PM, at least we were having reservations already so I was a little relaxed. I had already called the hotel about our late check-in time. We took the keys to our room and went into our rooms. The view was mesmerizing. We got a corner room on the hotel side. We were allotted a room with a mountain view from the washroom and every window of the room. The best part for Steve was the view of mountains from the window where he could enjoy the company of his friends and his romantic life. It had a big bed in the centre, with both sides on the walls big glass windows and a balcony to sit and relax at any time and enjoy the mountains view.

We got ready for the day and went for the main market area to explore the nearby famous places. There were a lot of cafes, restaurants with loud music and outside sitting arrangements to enjoy the view. It was a little cloudy day. We went into a restro-bar to have some snacks and drinks to chill around with people and enjoy. I had never tried Wine in my life, so Steve and I decided to buy Wine for all of us, and his favorite drinks for the night time to be made memorable. We all four spent around 4-5 hours roaming around and visiting different cultured cafes and trying different cuisines like Italian, Indian, Chinese, and more. We ordered some take-away food items for our dinner and then came back to our hotel around 11 PM which was very late in the night.

We were all chilling in a single room playing the game “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth Or Dare”. Me and my other girlfriend got drunk a little too much. Steve and his friend were holding on to us but we were drunk and were running around in our room like kids. Steve took care of me the whole time like a baby and never left my side. I felt so special at that moment and I wanted that moment to freeze and never pass. He held me in his arms bridal style and put me on the bed in our room. I was not in my senses completely but I could feel the rush in my body with his touch and care for me only.

He went back and continued his drinking and chat with his friend. We both girls were taking a nap when suddenly I woke up late in the night when I didn’t find him near me or anywhere in the room. I rushed to the other room and found him enjoying his moment sitting on a chair, looking at the sky and drinking his favorite drink, and sharing his thoughts with his friend. I ran towards him and hugged him. I was not completely fine, having effects of alcohol still in my head.

Steve took me back to our room and locked the door so that I could sleep with this surety that he is not leaving me alone again. I was completely awake by then, still under the influence of alcohol, but I could sense the reality. I didn’t leave Steve, rather I was lying on the bed beside him. I started to feel that adrenaline rush in me again, whenever he came near me.

I was continuously watching his lips and eyes moving in sync with the music that was being played on his mobile. I went to the washroom to freshen