My IMperfect Love Life by Neha Dua (audio ebook reader txt) 📕

Even after his marriage, he now regrets breaking up with me as friends and moving ahead in his life with his girlfriend and had tried to get back to me many times. I being a simple living girl, never wanted to break any other girl’s heart like mine, didn’t approve of him at any cost as a friend, as it would hurt his wife’s feelings, because of her insecurities about her man towards any other girl. Adi still regrets and feels sorry each day but can’t accept the fact that the things that are being done can never be replaced again in the future in this life.

This was the third time I was being put into such a situation where I had no guy who would choose me over others as their partner forever in true friendship or relationship.

Adi and I met on a school reunion party, where he was trying to talk to me. There, I saw him for the first time smoking rigorously 3 cigarettes in one go and drinking too much with some of our school friends. He had started to smoke and, in a few months, he became a chain smoker, smoking like a chimney.

I remembered that night, today also, when he left from the party early being drunk and during his drive home, he met with an accident. His car bumped into a tree due to the disbalance when the head lights of a truck flashed on his eyes suddenly. The driver ran away from the spot. I was also driving back to home when I saw this accident and immediately called an ambulance for help.

I called his parents from his phone and was waiting for them to come to hospital. His wife came very late with her parents even after getting the news. Our friends also came to pay a visit to him along with Adi’s best friend. He informed us that Adi was having some issues in his married life due to which he started smoking and drinking too much.

Six months later, I got the news from our common friends that his wife had left him when he was diagnosed with lung cancer due to smoking and drinking. He was left with no one except his family to be taken care by. He was diagnosed with last stage cancer and didn’t have much time, as he himself has lost the will to live his life. By the end of that year, he lost his life a day before his birthday.

After two years of being into a normal life, it was in the year 1997, I returned from my family trip to a foreign country after 10 days. Raven (from my higher studies) came back into my life through social media. I started to again have a soft corner as a friend for him after getting to know about his situation of his girlfriend being married to someone else after dumping him. He even informed me about my ex-Andy, that he got married too. I was finally happy for Andy. 

Raven and I started to develop our friendship again on a strong note and started spending time together whenever possible. We used to go on outings, lunches, and celebrations together with our college friends. I used to miss my office and family gatherings sometimes, just to be with him on our special days.

We went on trips together and spent nights together being in each other’s arms whole night traveling and roaming around exploring places. I was happy that he finally came back to me no matter what happened in the past, he finally realized my worth. I was in my zone of fantasy that maybe someday, he will tell me to settle down with him in his life and grow old with him.

There again the time came when I was ready to confess to him about my feelings for him, but he said he wasn’t ready to settle down yet and wants to have more in his career. I was happy that he was thinking of his career for now and would choose me when the time will be right. But then after few days, he started to ignore my calls and messages and left me with his harsh words “Natalie, you are not marriage material, people can only be around you for some time to have fun but not for long or for lifetime”. I finally got to know that he cheated on me with another girl.

After a few days, a common friend of ours broke this news to me that Raven has got engaged and will be getting married soon. This news broke me from inside. Raven still didn’t disclose his engagement news to me and was very casually talking on call saying sorry for using those harsh words for me and for cheating on me, a day before his engagement as if nothing has ever happened between us. He just forgot the times we spent together and walked out of my life again just with a blink of an eye.

I used to cry every night cursing my destiny about love. I was a big fan of love marriage and here I am with no true love in my life till now and just being a second option for every guy or being cheated upon with another girl. I used to be happy and friendly but a stubborn child always. I started to build-up anger and it became my main issue, but it was because of the situations like no true love and insecurity about my friendships in my life when I had a feeling that my friends are going away from me, they are open to other people and not me, they are choosing others over me like everyone else. All these made me angry and insecure.

I went on a random trip a few days later with new people around me and met a guy there named Prat on my trip. He and I became friends there onwards and started with a good friendship level. He was also in a relationship with a girl who cheated on him with another guy. Prat was into her too much that he had already convinced his family for that girl but with this eye-opening situation of that girl cheating on him, he was hurt and he started to come closer to me as a good friend, because I was the only girl he used to share his feelings with.

We started well in our friendship but then again when it was time for the commitment in this friendship, he walked off saying that he was just drawn away with our situation of being this much close, because she used to be the only girl with whom he had shared his success, failure, memories etc, but he never really forgot his girlfriend. He just dropped these messages on my cell phone the very next day. He just left me behind dumbstruck and then I never again returned from that day. I was very unfortunate to find true love earlier and now a true and close friend in my life.

Every step I took towards any of my friend whether a girl or a boy, they took a few steps back from committing to me in friendship. I always prayed to God to give me my true well-wishers in life like others and like I always paid attention to their sorrows, happiness and during their loneliness, but I couldn’t get the opportunity till now to enjoy those moments with my friends and capture those memories as my other friends did and shared their experiences, because all I had till now were just short-term happy moments and not long term commitments and happiness from friends also.

I started my new job then and was focused on building my career rather than focusing on anything else, that will again hurt me and my feelings about friendship and love. I never wanted to lose my trust in true friendship and love but I guess, God has different plans for me. Being influenced by people and their deeds, I made good friends in this new company also. My main motivation to go office every day was my friends and work there. I never took an off from my work, as I liked the working environment of my new office. I was into organizing events and celebrations at the workplace. I enjoyed doing my work and being interactive with people all the time. I never liked staying alone. I always wanted my friends and family to be around and going on trips with them.

At my new workplace, I made some good friends there. There was a guy named Steve who was at a senior designation from me, I had a little heated argument with him regarding a misunderstanding between both of us for a task assigned to us. He was a very serious type of a guy, always strict and with no expressions at all on his face, neither happy nor sad but had a very perfectly shaped fish eyes with long eye lashes and perfectly groomed appearance that could appeal any girl towards him with his voice and perfectly postured body.

Steve was 5’9 feet tall although, with well combed hair and a broad forehead completely visible, athletic body, with strong arms and nicely shaped jaw-line and the way he used to carry himself and his clothes and attitude made him the most eligible bachelor of our office. He used to remain in his zone, with no one around apart from work. He liked spending alone time more than being interactive with others and gossiping around regarding office