Be Lonely, Be Your Best by Santosh Jha (good books to read for 12 year olds TXT) 📕

This is no joke. These incidents somehow are very intense and as some people accept it as something seriously threatening their self – their very homeostasis wellness, they feel, their very survival is threatened. The reaction can be very disproportionate and precarious. They often are in love! As we said earlier, when we are in extreme emotions, our sense of poise and proportion gets confused and often, we act and behave in extremities. This we think as normal but are not as we lose the sense of appropriateness.

We all need to understand and accept it with a non-judgmental and objective mind that usually, when we are in love; we are in the mystical middle of a very intense and powerful dualism. True love is beautiful and everlasting poise of person and personality. However, in our pop culture, we all can see how love is one huge psychosis. The trouble is, both poise and psychosis can be simultaneously present and active in one single person, at any given time.

A person seeks to be in love to internalize this poise to the core of his or her personality. However, the same person is battling against the psychosis on the periphery of his or her personality as the culture and society we live in, exposes him or her to loads of conflicts and competitiveness. This dualism often expresses itself in chaotic love emotions.

When we love someone, he or she becomes an essential and ingrained part of our self-image and systemic wellness homeostasis. We start taking him or her for granted as part of me and mine. That is why; when there is trouble in love, or a situation, where it seems the love-situation is unsettled, we feel hugely threatened. We unconsciously feel that our very survival and core wellness is threatened. In this unsettled situation, the very person, who was once the receiver of all our love- largesse; poses as the one, who is a threat to our wellness.

We all have experienced and witnessed this situation all around us when a lover kills his or her beloved and also kills himself or herself. Why? This dualism plays the villain. The dualism of the subconscious mind makes us do all unimaginable things. The simple reason is – when our love is threatened, our unconscious mind quickly attempts to identify the enemy, who threatened our survival instincts – our homeostatic poise. As our beloved himself or herself is someone, who jolted our love-wellness, the unconscious mind identifies him or her as enemy. The war is then declared against this enemy. That is why scientists say the person, who is a source of connect, may be the most potent element of our loneliness.

The dualism is playing its mystical marvels to us. The special someone, the beloved, whom we love so much that we cannot think of living a moment without him or her, becomes our enemy number one. Depending on how we all have been culturally trained to treat our enemies, we start executing our battle-tactics against him or her. Those, who are well groomed, trained by parents and family to be accommodative and compassionate with even the enemies, shall never opt for violent and overtly physical battle-plans. However, they can be sadistic about them. Those, who have a culture of violence, can go to any limit as it is said, Everything is fair in love and war.

Global data shows that intimate partner violence is hugely on rise. Failed love and intimacy has become the chief pain-inflictor in our pop culture. Experts say, the easiest expression of the desire to inflict pain on intimate partners is promiscuity and character assassination. Sadism, aggression and behavioural hostility are sure signs of a troubled and unsettled wellness homeostasis of the person. This person shall be hugely intense and passionate in love. However, be sure, when things are on the low, such a person can be calamitous and extreme with expressions of his or her desire to secure his or her wellness. That is why it is said, true love needs not passion but compassion.

As we said earlier, researches have confirmed that when a person’s dear ideas or people are in trouble, his or her bio-sociological, psychological, emotional and volitional homeostasis is disturbed and this leads him or her to dysfunctional health and even death. The perception of threat to their homeostasis is very subjective, varying hugely.

That is why, we all need to understand and accept that love needs huge preparedness. We all are given enough time for the preparations. When I am perfectly settled and in absolute poise of my overall wellness homeostasis, then only I am ready for assimilation and integration of love. Moreover, the special someone, I love, has to be in this poise too. Then only the magic works! That is why it is always insisted, never ask whether someone is there and willing to accept your love. Rather always ask, whether I am there and ready for acceptance of love.

I share a true story with you. A young father, I have known, has his little daughter growing fast in a very big city of United States of America, where pop culture has taken the teenagers in perfect grip. The mother is very concerned and even tense. She worries for her teenage daughter and asks her husband, what to do to avoid any accidents. Nothing new! However, what the father of this teenage girl said to his wife is interesting. He said, ‘I am trying to figure out, what my daughter can do, which I cannot forgive. I love her and I think, the sky of my affection and compassion for her shall always remain much larger than her arms can stretch for possible wrongs.’

True love has to be like that. Love, in all its manifestations and expressions has to be like that. Love liberates, never suffocates. The compassion of forgiveness shall always remain larger than the accidents of passion, when you are in true love and absolute intimacy.

The father, in the above story, is in perfect poise of his wellness homeostasis. His wellness is not threatened by his subjective self-image of right and wrong. It is his poise, which is so beautifully and magnanimously reflected in his behaviour and action. It is only natural that this father is a sure hero for the girl and this girl shall grow to be one poised person.

From the day we are born, we are muffled by love, in one form or other. Our preparedness starts from that day. Initially, it is the responsibility of parents and family but later, we ourselves have to learn and unlearn our ways towards this poise of our larger wellness homeostasis. If we have this poise, love shall be one huge theatre of song and dance within. And, when we choose to extend this wellness poise to someone special, we need to be sure, he or she is in the same poise.

Always remember, the wise of all times have insisted, true and lasting relationship is possible only between similar and generic elements. That is why we always have to ensure that the consciousness of this someone special is generic to our own consciousness.

Love, as an idea, deeply associated with the entity of homeostasis, is hugely beautiful and highly useful. Love is a mystical expression of the sense of larger wellness, which is a cardinal and potent condition for homeostasis.

What mind receives and expresses are through neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes. However, these processes are intangible and our conscious mind never is able to see or perceive them. It is when, these processes are translated in behaviour and action then we understand and accept it. That is simply why; there is a sense of mysticism, in all our behaviour-actions, which are expressed in subconscious state of mind.

The affectors of human emotions, which in turn impact the human mind’s decision-making choices of behaviour and action, are mostly intangible. That is why; there is a sense of mysticism and marvel around it. Love also being an expression of intangible nature and essentially a neurochemical and neuroelectrical expression of the larger need of body’s homeostasis wellness, lands in the domain of mysticism, magic and marvel.

Love is an intangible and very subjective expression of emotions in terms of behaviour-action to extend the domain of self’s homeostasis wellness in the ambient environment. When the self accepts and adopts something and someone as right and good for its homeostasis wellness, there is a neurochemical and neuroelectrical impulse to merge in as part of its larger ‘self’. This Process Is Body-Mind Consciousness Expressing In Terms Of The Emotion Of Love.

Love is essentially an extension of one’s self and subjective consciousness to accept and accommodate a thing, idea or person in its fold. Therefore, love basically is a very selfish and self-indulged emotion, an expression of the self’s ever-present need to maintain its homeostasis. It is our higher consciousness, which assigns and aligns this selfishness to lofty and noble values of life and living in societal space.

Love is a mind-mechanism and process on the side of self, for enhancement and aggrandizement of the broader need of survival and wellness. When we explain love in these terms, we shall see that there is nothing that remains in the veil of mysticism, magic and marvel. Everything, even weirdest of action-behaviour in love can be explained and understood in scientifically calculable ways.

A person’s homeostasis often accepts contradictory ideas. It is possible that a person is a devout faithful; still that person can relish an abusive tongue. It is all in the subconscious. It became ingrained in that person’s subconscious mind probably early in his childhood and now forms part of his or her larger wellness homeostasis.

Therefore, this person would love another person, who has similar faith system, however, would not desist from using bad mouth to him or her as the subconscious mind is used to accepting the abusive tongue as good and acceptable. You may see a dualism and contradiction in it. You may think, if a person loves you, he or she should use nice language with you and should not be a boozer or a gambler. However, for that person, love is only an expression of his or her self and his or her self already accepts abuse and boozing as acceptable things for his or her wellness homeostasis.

If you attempt to reason it out with him or her that if he or she loves you, he or she should stop abuse and booze, he or she shall first of all look confused. He or she would not even understand why you are saying this. Because, he or she (his or her subconscious mind), does not see any contradiction and conflict in it. Most likely, he or she shall take your words of reasoning as a threat to his or her wellness homeostasis and would likely to go away. Nobody can compromise with his or her long preserved homeostasis.

Actually, this person loved you because you fitted in his or her larger scheme of homeostasis wellness. Now when you have put up ideas, which disturb his or her homeostasis, his or her sense of wellness is threatened and compromised. He or she is likely to stop loving you, or shall be unsettled and erratic in his or her action-behaviour.

The subconscious mind is almost too obsessed with the idea of survival and homeostasis. That is why, when it is faced with some situation, which is unpredictable and for which it has no ready solutions, it shall start creating such ideas for ensuring his or her win and success, which shall be weird and even illusory. Not only that, it would also prompt the conscious mind to go ahead with those weird ideas in terms of action and behaviour.

For example, when you ask someone you love deeply to do away with some nasty or not so good habit or idea with him or her. He or she would first resist it saying, ‘why