The Arabian Nights Entertainments by - (carter reed TXT) 📕

confine women; and they are yet more strict in the observation of them in their own families; the cauzee you saw is more rigid in that point than any of the other magistrates. They are always preaching to their daughters what a heinous crime it is to shew themselves to men; and the girls themselves are so prepossessed with the notion, that they make no other use of their own eves but to conduct them along the street, when necessity obliges them to go abroad. I do not say absolutely that the first cauzee’s daughter is of that humour; but that does not hinder my fearing to meet with as great obstacles on her side, as on her father’s.

Would to God you had loved any other, then I should not have had so many difficulties to surmount. However, I will employ all my wits to compass the matter; but it requires time. In the mean while take courage and trust to me.”

The old woman took leave; and as I weighed within myself all the obstacles she had been talking of, the fear of her not succeeding in her undertaking inflamed my disorder. Next day she came again, and I read in her countenance that she had no favourable news to impart. She spoke thus: “My son, I was not mistaken, I have somewhat else to conquer besides the vigilance of a father. You love an insensible object, who takes pleasure in making every one miserable who suffers himself to be charmed by her; she will not deign them the least comfort: she heard me with pleasure, when I spoke of nothing but the torment she made you undergo; but I no sooner opened my mouth to engage her to allow you to see her, and converse with her, but casting at me a terrible look, �You are very presumptuous,’ said she, �to make such a proposal to me; I charge you never to insult me again with such language.’

“Do not let this cast you down,” continued she; “I am not easily disheartened, and am not without hope but I shall compass my end.” To shorten my story, this good woman made several fruitless attacks in my behalf on the proud enemy of my rest. The vexation I suffered inflamed my distemper to that degree, that my physicians gave me over. I was considered as a dead man, when the old woman came to recall me to life.

That no one might hear what was said, she whispered in my ear; “Remember the present you owe for the good news I bring you.”

These words produced a marvellous effect; I raised myself up in the bed, and with transport replied, “You shall not go without a present; but what is the news you bring me?” “Dear sir,” said she “you shall not die; I shall speedily have the pleasure to see you in perfect health, and very well satisfied with me. Yesterday I went to see the lady you love, and found her in good humour. As soon as I entered, I put on a sad countenance heaved many deep sighs, and began to squeeze out some tears. �My good mother,’

demanded she �what is the matter with you, why are you so cast down?’ �Alas, my dear and honourable lady,’ I replied, �I have just been with the young gentleman of whom I spoke to you the other day, who is dying on your account.’ �I am at a loss to know,’ said she, �how you make me to be the cause of his death.

How can I have contributed to it?’ �How?’ replied I; �did not you tell me the other day, that he sat down before your window when you opened it to water your flowerpot? He then saw that prodigy of beauty, those charms that your mirror daily represents to you.

From that moment he languished, and his disorder has so increased, that he is reduced to the deplorable condition I have mentioned.’

“�You well remember,’ added I, �how harshly you treated me at our last interview; when I was speaking to you of his illness, and proposing a way to save him from the threatened consequences of his complaint. After I left you I went directly to his house, and he no sooner learnt from my countenance that I had brought no favourable answer than his distemper increased. From that time, madam, he has been at the point of death; and I doubt whether your compassion would not now come too late to save his life.’

The fear of your death alarmed her, and I saw her face change colour. �Is your account true?’ she asked. �Has he actually no other disorder than what is occasioned by his love of me?’ �Ah, madam!’ I replied, �it is too true; would it were false!’ �Do you believe,’ said she, �that the hopes of seeing me would at all contribute to rescue him from his danger?’ I answered, �Perhaps it may, and if you will permit me, I will try the remedy.’?

�Well,’ resumed she, sighing, �give him hopes of seeing me; but he must pretend to no other favours, unless he aspire to marry me, and obtains my father’s consent.’ �Madam,’ replied I. �your goodness overcomes me; I will instantly seek the young gentleman, and tell him he is to have the pleasure of an interview with you.’ �The best opportunity I can think of,’ said she, �for granting him that favour, will be next Friday at the hour of noon prayers. Let him observe when my father goes out, and then, if his health permits him to be abroad, come and place himself opposite the house. I shall then see him from my window, and will come down and open the door for him: we will converse together during prayer-time; but he must depart before my father returns.’

“It is now Tuesday,” continued the old lady “you have the interval between this and Friday to recover your strength, and make the necessary dispositions for the interview.” While the good old lady was speaking, I felt my illness decrease, or rather, by the time she had done, I found myself perfectly recovered. “Here, take this,” said I, reaching out to her my purse, which was full, “it is to you alone that I owe my cure. I reckon this money better employed than all that I gave the physicians, who have only tormented me during my illness.”

When the lady was gone, I found I had strength enough to get up: and my relations finding me so well, complimented me on the occasion, and went home.

On Friday morning the old woman came, just as I was dressing, and choosing out the richest clothes in my wardrobe, said, “I do not ask you how you are, what you are about is intimation enough of your health; but will not you bathe before you go?” “That will take up too much time,” I replied; “I will content myself with sending for a barber, to shave my head.” Immediately I ordered one of my slaves to call a barber that could do his business cleverly and expeditiously.

The slave brought me the wretch you see here, who came, and after saluting me, said, “Sir, you look as if you were not well.” I told him I was just recovered from a fit of sickness. “May God,”

resumed he, “deliver you from all mischance; may his grace always go along with you.” “I hope he will grant your wish, for which I am obliged to you.” “Since you are recovering from a fit of sickness,” he continued, “I pray God preserve your health; but now let me know what I am to do; I have brought my razors and my lancets, do you desire to be shaved or to be bled?” I replied, “I am just recovered from a fit of sickness, and you may readily judge I only want to be shaved: come, do not lose time in prattling; for I am in haste, and have an appointment precisely at noon.”

The barber spent much time in opening his case, and preparing his razors Instead of putting water into the basin, he took a very handsome astrolabe out of his case, and went very gravely out of my room to the middle of the court to take the height of the sun: he returned with the same grave pace, and entering my room, said, “Sir, you will be pleased to know this day is Friday the 18th of the moon Suffir, in the year 653, from the retreat of our great prophet from Mecca to Medina, and in the year 7320 of the epocha of the great Iskender with two horns; and that the conjunction of Mars and Mercury signifies you cannot choose a better time than this very day and hour for being shaved. But, on the other hand, the same conjunction is a bad presage to you. I learn from it, that this day you run a great risk, not indeed of losing your life, but of an inconvenience which will attend you while you live. You are obliged to me for the advice I now give you, to avoid this accident; I shall be sorry if it befall you.”

You may guess, gentlemen, how vexed I was at having fallen into the hands of such a prattling, impertinent fellow; what an unseasonable adventure was it for a lover preparing for an interview with his mistress! I was quite irritated. “I care not,”

said I, in anger, “for your advice and predictions; I did not call you to consult your astrology; you came hither to shave me; shave me, or begone.” “I will call another barber, sir,” replied he, with a coolness that put me out of all patience; “what reason have you to be angry with me? You do not know, that all of my profession are not like me; and that if you made it your business to search, you would not find such another. You only sent for a barber; but here, in my person, you have the best barber in Bagdad, an experienced physician, a profound chemist, an infallible astrologer, a finished grammarian, a complete orator, a subtle logician, a mathematician perfectly well versed in geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and all the refinements of algebra; an historian fully master of the histories of all the kingdoms of the universe. Besides, I understand all parts of philosophy. I have all our sacred traditions by heart. I am a poet, I am an architect; and what is it I am not? There is nothing in nature hidden from me. Your deceased father, to whose memory I pay a tribute of tears every time I think of him, was fully convinced of my merit; he was fond of me, and spoke of me in all companies as the first man in the world. Out of gratitude and friendship for him, I am willing to attach myself to you, to take you under my protection, and guard you from all the evils that your stars may threaten.”

When I heard all this jargon, I could not forbear laughing, notwithstanding my anger. “You impertinent prattler!” said I, “will you have done, and begin to shave me?”

“Sir,” replied the barber, “you affront me in calling me a prattler; on the contrary, all the world gives me the honourable title of Silent. I had six brothers, whom you might justly have called prattlers. These indeed were impertinent chatterers, but for me, who am a younger brother, I am grave and concise in my discourse.”

For God’s sake, gentlemen, do but suppose you had been in my place. What could I say when I saw myself so cruelly delayed?

“Give him three pieces of gold,” said I to the slave who was my housekeeper, “and send him away, that he may disturb me no more; I will not