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taken from me; for had I heard

hostile or sneering words touching thee, I should not have been able to

hide my anger, and should have had to struggle with the wish to break

the head of that wicked, malicious woman with my oar. Thou rememberest

the incident at the pond of Agrippa about which I told thee at the house

of Linus on the eve of my departure. Petronius is alarmed on my

account, and to-day again he implored me not to offend the Augusta’s

vanity. But Petronius does not understand me, and does not realize

that, apart from thee, I know no pleasure or beauty or love, and that

for Poppæa I feel only disgust and contempt. Thou hast changed my soul

greatly,—so greatly that I should not wish now to return to my former

life. But have no fear that harm may reach me here. Poppæa does not

love me, for she cannot love any one, and her desires arise only from

anger at Cæsar, who is under her influence yet, and who is even capable

of loving her yet; still, he does not spare her, and does not hide from

her his transgressions and shamelessness.

 

“I will tell thee, besides, something which should pacify thee. Peter

told me in parting not to fear Cæsar, since a hair would not fall from

my head; and I believe him. Some voice in my soul says that every word

of his must be accomplished; that since he blessed our love, neither

Cæsar, nor all the powers of Hades, nor predestination itself, could

take thee from me, O Lygia. When I think of this I am as happy as if I

were in heaven, which alone is calm and happy. But what I say of heaven

and predestination may offend thee, a Christian. Christ has not washed

me yet, but my heart is like an empty chalice, which Paul of Tarsus is

to fill with the sweet doctrine professed by thee,—the sweeter for me

that it is thine. Thou, divine one, count even this as a merit to me

that I have emptied it of the liquid with which I had filled it before,

and that I do not withdraw it, but hold it forth as a thirsty man

standing at a pure spring. Let me find favor in thy eyes.

 

“In Antium my days and nights will pass in listening to Paul, who

acquired such influence among my people on the first day that they

surround him continually, seeing in him not only a wonder-worker, but a

being almost supernatural. Yesterday I saw gladness on his face, and

when I asked what he was doing, he answered, ‘I am sowing!’ Petronius

knows that he is among my people, and wishes to see him, as does Seneca

also, who heard of him from Gallo.

 

“But the stars are growing pale, O Lygia, and ‘Lucifer’ of the morning

is bright with growing force. Soon the dawn will make the sea ruddy;

all is sleeping round about, but I am thinking of thee and loving thee.

Be greeted together with the morning dawn, sponsa mea!”

Chapter XXXVIII

VINICIUS to LYGIA:

 

“Hast thou ever been in Antium, my dear one, with Aulus and Pomponia?

If not, I shall be happy when I show this place to thee. All the way

from Laurentum there is a line of villas along the seashore; and Antium

itself is an endless succession of palaces and porticos, whose columns

in fair weather see themselves in the water. I, too, have a residence

here right over the sea, with an olive garden and a forest of cypresses

behind the villa, and when I think that the place will sometime be

thine, its marble seems whiter to me, its groves more shady, and the sea

bluer. Oh, Lygia, how good it is to live and love! Old Menikles, who

manages the villa, planted irises on the ground under myrtles, and at

sight of them the house of Aulus, the impluvium, and the garden in which

I sat near thee, came to my mind. The irises will remind thee, too, of

thy childhood’s home; therefore I am certain that thou wilt love Antium

and this villa.

 

“Immediately after our arrival I talked long with Paul at dinner. We

spoke of thee, and afterward he taught. I listened long, and I say only

this, that even could I write like Petronius, I should not have power to

explain everything which passed through my soul and my mind. I had not

supposed that there could be such happiness in this world, such beauty

and peace of which hitherto people had no knowledge. But I retain all

this for conversation with thee, for at the first free moment I shall be

in Rome.

 

“How could the earth find place at once for the Apostle Peter, Paul of

Tarsus, and Cæsar? Tell me this. I ask because I passed the evening

after Paul’s teaching with Nero, and dost thou know what I heard there?

Well, to begin with, he read his poem on the destruction of Troy, and

complained that never had he seen a burning city. He envied Priam, and

called him happy just for this, that he saw the conflagration and ruin

of his birthplace. Whereupon Tigellinus said, ‘Speak a word, O divinity,

I will take a torch, and before the night passes thou shalt see blazing

Antium.’ But Cæsar called him a fool. ‘Where,’ asked he, ‘should I go to

breathe the sea air, and preserve the voice with which the gods have

gifted me, and which men say I should preserve for the benefit of

mankind? Is it not Rome that injures me; is it not the exhalations of

the Subura and the Esquiline which add to my hoarseness? Would not the

palaces of Rome present a spectacle a hundredfold more tragic and

magnificent than Antium?’ Here all began to talk, and to say what an

unheard tragedy the picture of a city like that would be, a city which

had conquered the world turned now into a heap of gray ashes. Cæsar

declared that then his poem would surpass the songs of Homer, and he

began to describe how he would rebuild the city, and how coming ages

would admire his achievensents, in presence of which all other human

works would be petty. ‘Do that! do that!’ exclaimed the drunken company.

‘I must have more faithful and more devoted friends,’ answered he.

 

“I confess that I was alarmed at once when I heard this, for thou art in

Rome, carissima. I laugh now at that alarm, and I think that Cæsar and

his friends, though mad, would not dare to permit such insanity. Still,

see how a man fears for his love; I should prefer that the house of

Linus were not in that narrow Trans-Tiber alley, and in a part occupied

by common people, who are less considered in such a case. For me, the

very palaces on the Palatine would not be a residence fit for thee;

hence I should wish also that nothing were lacking thee of those

ornaments and comforts to which thou art accustomed from childhood.

 

“Go to the house of Aulus, my Lygia. I have thought much here over this

matter. If Cæsar were in Rome, news of thy return might reach the

Palatine through slaves, turn attention to thee, and bring persecution,

because thou didst dare to act against the will of Cæsar. But he will

remain long in Antium, and before he returns slaves will have ceased to

speak of thee. Linus and Ursus can be with thee. Besides, I live in

hope that before Palatine sees Cæsar, thou, my goddess, shalt be

dwelling in thy own house on the Carinæ. Blessed be the day, hour, and

moment in which thou shalt cross my threshold; and if Christ, whom I am

learning to accept, effects this, may His name be blessed also. I shall

serve Him, and give life and blood for Him. I speak incorrectly; we

shall serve Him, both of us, as long as the threads of life hold.

 

“I love thee and salute thee with my whole soul.”

Chapter XXXIX

Unsus was taking water from a cistern, and while drawing up a double

amphora, with a rope, was singing a strange Lygian song in an undertone,

looking meanwhile with delighted eyes at Lygia and Vinicius, who, among

the cypresses in Linus’s garden, seemed as white as two statues. Their

clothing was not moved by the least breeze. A golden and lily-colored

twilight was sinking on the world while they were conversing in the calm

of evening, each holding the other by the hand.

 

“May not some evil meet thee, Marcus, because thou hast left Antium

without Cæsar’s knowledge?” asked Lygia.

 

“No, my dear,” answered Vinicius. “Cæsar announced that he would shut

himself in for two days with Terpnos, and compose new songs. He acts

thus frequently, and at such times neither knows nor remembers aught

else. Moreover, what is Cæsar to me since I am near thee and am looking

at thee? I have yearned too much already, and these last nights sleep

has left me. More than once, when I dozed from weariness, I woke on a

sudden, with a feeling that danger was hanging over thee; at times I

dreamed that the relays of horses which were to bear me from Antium to

Rome were stolen,—horses with which I passed that road more swiftly

than any of Cæsar’s couriers. Besides, I could not live longer without

thee; I love thee too much for that, my dearest.”

 

“I knew that thou wert coming. Twice Ursus ran out, at my request, to

the Carinæ, and inquired for thee at thy house. Linus laughed at me,

and Ursus also.”

 

It was, indeed, evident that she had expected him; for instead of her

usual dark dress, she wore a soft white stola, out of whose beautiful

folds her arms and head emerged like primroses out of snow. A few ruddy

anemones ornamented her hair.

 

Vinicius pressed his lips to her hands; then they sat on the stone bench

amidst wild grapevines, and inclining toward each other, were silent,

looking at the twilight whose last gleams were reflected in their eyes.

 

The charm of the quiet evening mastered them completely.

 

“How calm it is here, and how beautiful the world is,” said Vinicius, in

a lowered voice. “The night is wonderfully still. I feel happier than

ever in life before. Tell me, Lygia, what is this? Never have I

thought that there could be such love. I thought that love was merely

fire in the blood and desire; but now for the first time I see that it

is possible to love with every drop of one’s blood and every breath, and

feel therewith such sweet and immeasurable calm as if Sleep and Death

had put the soul to rest. For me this is something new. I look on this

calmness of the trees, and it seems to be within me. Now I understand

for the first time that there may be happiness of which people have not

known thus far. Now I begin to understand why thou and Pomponia Græcina

have such peace. Yes! Christ gives it.”

 

At that moment Lygia placed her beautiful face on his shoulder and

said,—“My dear Marcus—” But she was unable to continue. Joy,

gratitude, and the feeling that at last she was free to love deprived

her of voice, and her eyes were filled with tears of emotion.

 

Vinicius, embracing her slender form with his arm, drew her toward him

and said,—“Lygia! May the moment be blessed in which I heard His name

for the first time.”

 

“I love thee, Marcus,” said she then in a low voice.

 

Both

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