The Christmas Bordello by Mike Marino (book club books txt) 📕

a victory with a Victoria’s Secrets leather and lace gift card good towards a sexy red teddy, white pantyhose and green garters...the traditional colors of Christmas. For the Ladies..choose from an extensive line of erotica from the Marquis de Sade Dom/Sub shops located in the seedier parts of town next door to any adult bookstore and one block from the nearest church. Riding crops aplenty in a wide selection that will make your Rudolph fly.

 

Mistletoe is the romance sprig of the holidays. He or she who stands under it gets a kiss by those who happen by. It is usually suspended over a doorway or entrance. I suggest we hang a sprig on our belt buckle, so when guests come over, especially that neighbor lady who has been arousing you all summer long as she puttered around her garden in hot pants. As for she comes over for a hot toddy and notices your manly sprout sprouting into a Christmas bulge she can get into the holiday spirit and your pants when she opens your "present" and jingles your bells louder than a Catholic Church! It's a candy cane she'll never forget as visions of sugar plums dance while she is giving you head!

 

The ladies of course can strategically place mistletoe in a variety of her body locations guaranteed to do the deed. The combinations for her are endless!!! The Christmas tree itself is adorned with decorations and lights, pretty traditional so this year...be creative and decorate with dildos and tampons. It will give your tree a certain savoir faire as Santa Claus Maxi Pads hang delightfully and deliriously for all to enjoy. Shredded maxi pads by the way make a great mass of simulated snow for that manger scene or Santa and his eight tiny reindeer. As for tampons, they make great swizzle sticks.

 

Instead of hanging Christmas stockings with furry tops and bright red colors, hang up a pair of tattered fishnets from that ho, ho, ho, hooker you met with last week on the street. That will pique Santa's curiosity and could lead to some amazing gifts. Besides...that hooker? You already stuffed her stocking so now you can stuff her fishnets. Hopefully she didn't give you the clap or disease...you know...the gifts that keep on giving...and giving ... and giving!

 

For unique gift ideas invite your friends over for potluck gift giving. Everyone writes down what they want to give and these are put into a hat then everyone at random picks one and they get the gift. These can be things like an hour with a Chippendale in kilts with hell of a set of bagpipes, a male or female (your choice) Laplander lap dancing while wearing rubber antlers, or the ever popular threesome in under the tree! Imagine how the room will light up when someone yells out...Hot damn a blow job by my neighbor ...now that's the Christmas spirit!

 

Handcuffs and whips make for the perfect femdom gift to give for the dominant woman in your life. This year make it a Christmas she or he will never forget. Naked Twister and strip Trivial Pursuit..blow jobs to hand jobs...Tis the season to roast your chestnuts and deck your balls with holly...and if Holly won't do it...that neighbor lady will! Ho, Ho, Ho!

Imprint

Publication Date: 12-03-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This book is dedicated to everyone with a sense of humor and look at the world with a wink in their eye