The History Of The Life Of The Late Mr. Jonathan Wild The Great(Fiscle Part 3) by Henry Fielding (best e book reader android .TXT) 📕

Who Knew Nothing What Other Married Women Do!

Jonathan. No Matter What I Took You For: I Have Taken You For

Better And Worse.

Laetitia. And At Your Own Desire Too; For I Am Sure You Never Had

Mine. I Should Not Have Broken My Heart If Mr. Wild Had Thought

Proper To Bestow Himself On Any Other More Happy Woman. Ha,  Ha!

Jonathan. I Hope,  Madam,  You Don't Imagine That Was Not In My

Power,  Or That I Married You Out Of Any Kind Of Necessity.

Laetitia. O No,  Sir; I Am Convinced There Are Silly Women Enough.

And Far Be It From Me To Accuse You Of Any Necessity For A Wife. I

Believe You Could Have Been Very Well Contented With The State Of

A Bachelor; I Have No Reason To Complain Of Your Necessities; But

That,  You Know,  A Woman Cannot Tell Beforehand.

Jonathan. I Can't Guess What You Would Insinuate,  For I Believe No

Woman Had Ever Less Reason To Complain Of Her Husband's Want Of

Fondness.

Laetitia. Then Some,  I Am Certain,  Have Great Reason To Complain

Of The Price They Give For Them. But I Know Better Things. (These

Words Were Spoken With A Very Great Air,  And Toss Of The Head.)

Jonathan. Well,  My Sweeting,  I Will Make It Impossible For You To

Wish Me More Fond.

Laetitia. Pray,  Mr. Wild,  None Of This Nauseous Behaviour,  Nor

Those Odious Words. I Wish You Were Fond! I Assure You,  I Don't

Know What You Would Pretend To Insinuate Of Me. I Have No Wishes

Which Misbecome A Virtuous Woman. No,  Nor Should Not,  If I Had

Married For Love. And Especially Now,  When Nobody,  I Am Sure,  Can

Suspect Me Of Any Such Thing.

Jonathan. If You Did Not Marry For Love Why Did You Marry?

Laetitia. Because It Was Convenient,  And My Parents Forced Me.

Jonathan. I Hope,  Madam,  At Least,  You Will Not Tell Me To My Face

You Have Made Your Convenience Of Me.

Laetitia. I Have Made Nothing Of You; Nor Do I Desire The Honour

Of Making Anything Of You.

Jonathan. Yes,  You Have Made A Husband Of Me.

Laetitia. No,  You Made Yourself So; For I Repeat Once More It Was

Not My Desire,  But Your Own.

Jonathan. You Should Think Yourself Obliged To Me For That Desire.

Laetitia. La,  Sir! You Was Not So Singular In It. I Was Not In

Despair. I Have Had Other Offers,  And Better Too.

Jonathan. I Wish You Had Accepted Them With All My Heart.

Laetitia. I Must Tell You,  Mr. Wild,  This Is A Very Brutish Manner

In Treating A Woman To Whom You Have Such Obligations; But I Know

How To Despise It,  And To Despise You Too For Shewing It Me.

Indeed I Am Well Enough Paid For The Foolish Preference I Gave To

You. I Flattered Myself That I Should At Least Have Been Used With

Good Manners. I Thought I Had Married A Gentleman; But I Find You

Every Way Contemptible And Below My Concern.

Jonathan. D--N You,  Madam,  Have I Not More Reason To Complain When

You Tell Me You Married For Your Convenience Only?

Laetitia. Very Fine Truly. Is It Behaviour Worthy A Man To Swear

At A Woman? Yet Why Should I Mention What Comes From A Wretch Whom

I Despise.

Jonathan. Don't Repeat That Word So Often. I Despise You As

Heartily As You Can Me. And,  To Tell You A Truth,  I Married You

For My Convenience Likewise,  To Satisfy A Passion Which I Have Now

Satisfied,  And You May Be D--D For Anything I Care.

Laetitia. The World Shall Know How Barbarously I Am Treated By

Such A Villain.

Jonathan. I Need Take Very Little Pains To Acquaint The World What

A B--Ch You Are,  Your Actions Will Demonstrate It.

Laetitia. Monster! I Would Advise You Not To Depend Too Much On My

Sex,  And Provoke Me Too Far; For I Can Do You A Mischief,  And

Will,  If You Dare Use Me So,  You Villain!

Jonathan. Begin Whenever You Please,  Madam; But Assure Yourself,

The Moment You Lay Aside The Woman,  I Will Treat You As Such No

Longer; And If The First Blow Is Yours,  I Promise You The Last

Shall Be Mine.

Laetitia. Use Me As You Will; But D--N Me If Ever You Shall Use Me

As A Woman Again; For May I Be Cursed If Ever I Enter Into Your

Bed More.

Jonathan. May I Be Cursed If That Abstinence Be Not The Greatest

Obligation You Can Lay Upon Me; For I Assure You Faithfully Your

Person Was All I Had Ever Any Regard For; And That I Now Loathe

And Detest As Much As Ever I Liked It.

Laetitia. It Is Impossible For Two People To Agree Better; For I

Always Detested Your Person; And As For Any Other Regard,  You Must

Be Convinced I Never Could Have Any For You.

Jonathan. Why,  Then,  Since We Are Come To A Right Understanding,

As We Are To Live Together,  Suppose We Agreed,  Instead Of

Quarrelling And Abusing,  To Be Civil To Each Other.

Laetitia. With All My Heart.

Jonathan. Let Us Shake Hands Then,  And Henceforwards Never Live

Like Man And Wife; That Is,  Never Be Loving Nor Ever Quarrel.

Laetitia. Agreed. But Pray,  Mr. Wild,  Why B--Ch? Why Did You

Suffer Such A Word To Escape You?

Jonathan. It Is Not Worth Your Remembrance.

Laetitia. You Agree I Shall Converse With Whomsoever I Please?

Jonathan. Without Controul. And I Have The Same Liberty?

Laetitia. When I Interfere May Every Curse You Can Wish Attend Me!

Jonathan. Let Us Now Take A Farewell Kiss,  And May I Be Hanged If

It Is Not The Sweetest You Ever Gave Me.

Laetitia. But Why B--Ch? Methinks I Should Be Glad To Know Why B--Ch?

At Which Words He Sprang From The Bed,  D--Ing Her Temper Heartily.

She Returned It Again With Equal Abuse,  Which Was Continued On

Both Sides While He Was Dressing. However,  They Agreed To Continue

Steadfast In This New Resolution; And The Joy Arising On That

Occasion At Length Dismissed Them Pretty Chearfully From Each

Other,  Though Laetitia Could Not Help Concluding With The Words,

Why B--Ch?

Observations On The Foregoing Dialogue,  Together With A Base

Design On Our Hero,  Which Must Be Detested By Every Lover Of

Greatness.

Thus Did This Dialogue (Which,  Though We Have Termed It

Matrimonial,  Had Indeed Very Little Savour Of The Sweets Of

Matrimony In It) Produce At Last A Resolution More Wise Than

Strictly Pious,  And Which,  If They Could Have Rigidly Adhered To

It,  Might Have Prevented Some Unpleasant Moments As Well To Our

Hero As To His Serene Consort; But Their Hatred Was So Very Great

And Unaccountable That They Never Could Bear To See The Least

Composure In One Another's Countenance Without Attempting To

Ruffle It. This Set Them On So Many Contrivances To Plague And Vex

One Another,  That,  As Their Proximity Afforded Them Such Frequent

Opportunities Of Executing Their Malicious Purposes,  They Seldom

Passed One Easy Or Quiet Day Together.

And This,  Reader,  And No Other,  Is The Cause Of Those Many

Inquietudes Which Thou Must Have Observed To Disturb The Repose Of

Some Married Couples Who Mistake Implacable Hatred For

Indifference; For Why Should Corvinus,  Who Lives In A Round Of

Intrigue,  And Seldom Doth,  And Never Willingly Would,  Dally With

His Wife,  Endeavour To Prevent Her From The Satisfaction Of An

Intrigue In Her Turn? Why Doth Camilla Refuse A More Agreeable

Invitation Abroad,  Only To Expose Her Husband At His Own Table At

Home? In Short,  To Mention No More Instances,  Whence Can All The

Quarrels,  And Jealousies,  And Jars Proceed In People Who Have No

Love For Each Other,  Unless From That Noble Passion Above

Mentioned,  That Desire,  According To My Lady Betty Modish,  Of

Curing Each Other Of A Smile.

We Thought Proper To Give Our Reader A Short Taste Of The Domestic

State Of Our Hero,  The Rather To Shew Him That Great Men Are

Subject To The Same Frailties And Inconveniences In Ordinary Life

With Little Men,  And That Heroes Are Really Of The Same Species

With Other Human Creatures,  Notwithstanding All The Pains They

Themselves Or Their Flatterers Take To Assert The Contrary; And

That They Differ Chiefly In The Immensity Of Their Greatness,  Or,

As The Vulgar Erroneously Call It,  Villany. Now,  Therefore,  That

We May Not Dwell Too Long On Low Scenes In A History Of The

Sublime Kind,  We Shall Return To Actions Of A Higher Note And More

Suitable To Our Purpose.

When The Boy Hymen Had,  With His Lighted Torch,  Driven The Boy

Cupid Out Of Doors,  That Is To Say,  In Common Phrase,  When The

Violence Of Mr. Wild's Passion (Or Rather Appetite) For The Chaste

Laetitia Began