how to fix the cut by KLeena Girl (grave mercy TXT) 📕

receive a verbal answer, instead David took a step to the side to let her enter. He closed the door behind them and they walked into the living room. The brunette girl sat down across from her friend onto the couch.
„We need to talk”, she started saying right away, while he continued looking at her apathetically. Green eyes searched blue ones for a sign of relenting, regret or any other kind of emotion. Or will to talk. But there couldn’t be found anything at all. His face was completely blank. „Come on, David, I’ve already heard Adam’s version of the story, but I need to hear yours, too.”
„Oh really?” He failed to bit back the sarcasm. „I thought you and Adam were BFFs now, giving out all their private gossip to each other.”
„Stop it”, Serena spat back. It annoyed her, when he became like this. David had always been a kind person to her, but he seemed to have changed so much during his time in Great Britain.
David couldn’t help, but to rub in further. He actually felt sorry for her that he was treating her this way, but his anger and hate weren’t specifically directed to her. They were meant for that Adam-bastard. „But it’s true, isn’t it? Adam doesn’t know a single thing about Lucas and you, or you and me for that matter.”
Serena clenched her fists. How could he be so mean? Simply mean. Had Adam been right about him after all?
„Why don’t you tell him? What difference would it make if he knew?” He dug in deeper, though this time he sounded more curious than mean.
Tear welled up in her eyes and she was tempted to leave. She dodged David’s sharp gaze and looked down at her shaking hands. The first drop splashed down onto the pale skin. It didn’t take long until it was accompanied by more tears. Broken sobs escaped her mouth, as she put her head into her hands. „How can you be like that?” She whimpered. „I thought…I thought, you’d understand, David. That you were the only one I could trust. Even after all that has happened…” Serena collapsed and her petite form broke down onto the floor.
David was in shock. He hadn’t realized how deep he had cut in with his words and his actions. Seeing her, his sister

, crouching on the ground broke his heart. He had always wanted to protect her and ended up hurting her so much more. He kneeled down beside her and laid his arms around her shivering body. He could feel the cold rising from it and felt even worse for her. Serena flinched at his touch, but didn’t have the strength to brace against it. She immediately gave into that warmth and that smell, which captured so many memories. The tears poured down and no matter how hard she tried, they wouldn’t stop. As they lay there together in each other’s arms, silence only broken by some croaked sobs stretched out between them and made both realize what they both had been missing in their life for more than a year. The connection they had build up so long ago. The share of memories. And their common past and fate.
Finally, the salty drops subsided and Serena returned to normal breathing. Rubbing her eyes, she lifted her head to look at David. His former expression of indifference had vanished, instead his face was signed with worry and care. Despite his skinny and sick appearance, Serena could now see the real

David.
„We both decided not to tell you”, he said suddenly, his bright eyes softening, „Lucas and me, that is. It was shortly after he had told me he had to move that I discovered my disease. I knew how much Lucas’ departure would hurt you and I didn’t want to give you more reasons to worry about us. Maybe I reacted thoughtless, but all I ever wanted was to protect you. We wanted to protect you.”
Hot, fresh tears began to fill Serena’s eyes, but this time, they fell silently. She didn’t even notice them, as she continued to listen carefully. „It doesn’t mean we didn’t trust you. We just feared to break you down again, right after you had found your strength.” They both knew what he was talking about. Serena’s attempted suicides hadn’t been taken unmindfully by the two boys back then. „I guess it wasn’t the best way to reveal the fact I had Leukaemia on this party-thing, but I figured out I’d have to tell you some day. And I didn’t know if I gained the courage ever again, if I hadn’t told you then. Maybe we’ve been fools for not telling you. But all I can say to you now is…I’m sorry.”
Serena sucked a breath in sharply and wiped her face with her hand. „I have to apologize. I laughed, when you told me.” Shame rested on her. „You told me something so private, so intimate and I…I laughed.”
„Hey, Sis, you were drunk”, David smiled weakly, „it’s okay.”
„Oh, brother, I missed you so!” She cried out all of sudden and threw her arms around him. His thin body went rigid, but quickly relaxed and returned the embrace. Serena’s spirits were rising again. She was comfortable.
„About Adam”, he mumbled as he smoothed his hand over her soft, long hair, „do whatever you want and I’ll respect it.”
Serena couldn’t help but smile. Though, David quickly added, „But you know, you’ll have to tell him the truth at one point.”
She sighed against his chest and whispered, „I know.” For the moment, she was happy to have David back and as long as she was friends with Adam, she wouldn’t complain. This night she would finally give her mind a little peace. When the time came, she knew she would find a way to explain Adam her past. Now, all she wanted to do was to sleep, feeling David’s fingers gliding softly through her hair.


* * *


After the talk with David, Serena felt so much better. Yet, something kept tugging on her mind. She opened the thick book and let her finger wander across the table of contents. There it was.

Leukemia (or leukaemia), Greek leukos λευκός, "white"; aima αίμα, "blood", is a cancer of the blood or bone marrow and is characterized by an abnormal proliferation (production by multiplication) of blood cells, usually white blood cells (leukocytes). Leukemia is a broad term covering a spectrum of diseases. In turn, it is part of the even broader group of diseases called hematological neoplasms.

Alright, that was about the amount of what she already knew about the disease. She flipped forward to the chapter dealing with the kind of Leukaemia David had or rather has.

Acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), Management of ALL focuses on control of bone marrow and systemic (whole-body) disease. Additionally, treatment must prevent leukemia cells from spreading to other sites, particularly the central nervous system (CNS) e.g. monthly lumbar punctures.

David had told her ‘not to worry too much’ about the whole topic, but she couldn’t give it a rest. She knew David tried to protect her by sparing her that information. A weary smile lay on her lips, as she remembered that he had always put others in front of his own well-being. He could be such a stupid boy sometimes! As if it didn’t matter how his own life was going on. The little sign of happiness soon vanished, as she read on.

The earlier acute lymphocytic leukemia is detected, the more effective the treatment. The aim is to induce a lasting remission, defined as the absence of detectable cancer cells in the body (usually less than 5% blast cells on the bone marrow).
Treatment for acute leukemia can include chemotherapy, steroids, radiation therapy, intensive combined treatments (including bone marrow or stem cell transplants), and growth factors.

Chemotherapy – Serena wasn’t an expert, but she had been taught enough in school about it to know that it was not only very weakening for the body, but also had effects like the loss of hair. David’s hair was way shorter than when he had first departed in 2006. But how had he been looking like at Lucas’ funeral? She had noticed something different about him, though she hadn’t been able to put a finger on it. The funeral had been in January – it meant at that time David had already received three months of therapy! Serena gasped. The signs of change must have been so clearly, so why hadn’t she noticed them? Of course, she herself had been in shock after Lucas’ death, nevertheless it wasn’t an excuse for neglecting the well-being of her best friend completely. Guilt washed over her conscience.

The relative survival rates differ by the person's age at diagnosis, gender, race and the type of leukemia. From 1999 to 2005, the five-year relative survival rates overall were:
Acute lymphocytic leukemia (ALL): 66.3 percent overall

Serena froze. 66.3 percent

– two thirds survived. But the other third…with trembling hands she closed the book. It was enough information for now. The new words and numbers were sorted out in her brain, while she waged war with her inner self. All the time she had thought of herself having a hard life, but she felt ashamed now. David had gone and was still going through something more horrible than she could have ever imagined. If she had only known…no, it wasn’t David’s fault for not telling her. After their conversations, she could see his reasons. If she had only realized what was going on, instead of only caring about her own problems. If she had only been there for him. If she…
Serena startled, when her room’s door opened. A blond-haired head appeared in the doorway. „You’re stuck in here when there’s such a sunny day outside?” He asked as he entered the room.
„Hi, Adam.”
He instantly saw the medical book and pointed towards it. „What’s that?” His gaze grew concerned. „You’re not sick, are you?”
Serena shook her head. „No. I’ve been doing some research on Leukaemia.” Unsure of how to reply, her friend stayed silent. So the girl continued. „Did you know that one third of Leukaemia patients die?”
Adam suppressed the urge to sigh. He didn’t want to appear rude or insensitive, but he had no intention to let David or his disease disturb the friendship with Serena he had built up over such a long time. „You wanna go to the park?”
Her head shot up in irritation. „Don’t you understand? David could be dead now and I would have never known. I’ve never been there for him, when he needed me the most!”
„Well, that’s his fault for not telling you!” Adam countered. „He obviously didn’t want your help, but now he comes back and seeks your pity!”
„Is this how you see it?” Her voice was calm again.
„I”, he gulped, „look, I don’t know why, but for some reason he acted like he did. So what? It’s his business, not yours.” He sat down next to her, but Serena quickly pushed herself of the couch.
„Actually, it is”, she answered, „I care. He is my friend and there’s nothing wrong with caring about a friend!”
„Of course, there’s not”, Adam back-pedalled, „but don’t you see it’s always David who tears us apart? Since he is back in Germany, it’s always him you’re talking about. Thinking about. Even when we’re on a date, he’s the only thing on your mind!”
„Don’t tell me, you’re actually jealous?” A long silence followed her question.
„I’m not jealous, Serena.”
„Yes, you are. Though, there’s no need to be. I’m not confusing sympathy with love.” She tried to give him a possibility to understand her feelings. It obviously failed.
„Then there’s no need