how to fix the cut by KLeena Girl (grave mercy TXT) 📕

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LSD Trilogy – Part 2: how to fix the cut

by KLeenaGirl
Finished September 8th, 2009

For Jenny
because this world hasn't been fair to her

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„Attention, please. Take-off Lufthansa 5738. All passengers are requested to betake to Gate B. This is the last call. Attention, please. Take-off Lufthansa 5738. All passengers are requested to betake to Gate B.”

The tower hall was filled with a great crowd of people, who were either walking around hectically or busy with their flight plans. Announcements pervaded the mass loudly, yet they were difficult to understand. A little boy ran among the people, pretending to be a plane. His mother called after him angrily. Somewhere in the corner, a couple was saying goodbye to each other under tears.
The scene Serena and David were in was similar, but not quite the same. They weren’t involved with each other romantically, instead they were more like brother and sister – though not related by blood. David turned his head down to look at his friend, who tried her best not to cry. Her gaze was averted, but he could tell from her slightly trembling lip.
„I have to go now. They’re announcing my flight.” He said casually and picked up his suitcase. Serena didn’t make any attempt to look at him. Moisture gathered in her eyes and she refused to let the tears fall. She had already been crying like mad at Lucas’ departure and it clearly wasn’t her intention to do it again. The tears brought these feelings of helplessness and loneliness along. Feelings, she hadn’t experienced for a long time after she had grown to know her boys, Lucas and David.
David put his suitcase down again. „Come here, sister.” He smiled sadly and stretched his arms out. She had been doing so well, but when she looked up and saw him, it all came down onto her. Broken sobs escaped her mouth, as she rushed into the boy’s arms. „I don’t want you to go”, she cried into his jacket. „I know”, he answered and gently stroked her hair. „We’ll see each other again. You know, we all made a promise on that particular afternoon. Remember?”
The intention had been to cheer her up, but now the tears rushed even faster, when she nodded her head. This wasn’t fair. About a year ago, they had been all together, celebrating Lucas’ birthday and now, shortly after his 17th birthday, they all left her. David slowly loosened the embrace and pulled out of it. „It’ll be alright, you’ll see”, he grabbed his case and bent down to give her a quick kiss on the forehead. „I love you, sister.”
David walked away and Serena stood behind, watching him leave with salty liquid blurring her sight. And just like that, he was gone. A strong wind was blowing on the outside of the airport.

It was September 2006.


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Spring was showing its first clues and little by little it was getting warmer, leaving the horrible period of winter behind. Serena didn’t like winter. It was always dark and cold. Besides, the snow made your feet all wet and you could catch a cold so quickly. Of course, those weren’t the real reasons she hated that season. It was the fact that her boyfriend, her only love, Lucas had died on January 8th – the date of her birthday. A few weeks ago, she had been at his grave for the first time after his funeral because his family had invited her to the one-year commemoration. She hadn’t seen David since that funeral and that fateful night afterwards, but she was fine with it. It gave her a chance to start again and forget the terrible incident of the past. Now, she was 16 and on her way to start a normal life again. After one year of mourning, it was definitely time for that. After all this time of depression, she was far behind the school material needed to be learned. That’s why a boy, who was two grades ahead of her, had offered her to help. And slowly, but steadily, her marks were improving. She had never told Adam about her past with Lucas and David or anything which belonged to this chapter of her life and she had absolutely no intention to. Life had treated her badly, but right now, life was good again. And that was mainly on Adam’s part. The two teenagers hung out often and enjoyed simple things together, like swimming, listening to music and jogging. Serena was really glad to have him. Without him, she would have sunk into a deep hole of sadness and remorse. On top of that, she didn’t have to justify herself and her actions to him, since he didn’t know the story of passed days. Serena could be carefree in his company and didn’t have to fear any uncomfortable questions. Looking up from the maths book, she gazed at his outward appearance. Adam had short blond hair and blue eyes. There were blue – real blue – and not that whitish-bright blue David’s eyes were. Additionally, Adam was slim and almost skinny. His shoulders were almost as small as her own, nothing like the broad shoulders of David. He was shorter than both Lucas and David, but still taller than her. Which wasn’t exactly a challenge, with her only being 5’35’’ high. He was almost the exact opposite of Lucas, because he was such a bright type, while Lucas had many dark colours in his look. There was only one thing about Adam which reminded her of her deceased boyfriend. His arms. They were long and thin, just like Lucas’, and always there for her, if she needed a hug. And after all that happened in her life, she needed lots of hugs.
„Are you listening? Serena?”
Adam’s rough voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts. He didn’t say it mean or unfriendly, his tone was nice, just his voice was pretty deep and manly.
„S-Sorry”, Serena stuttered and observed the book in front of her. „Could you explain the arithmetic problem again, please?”
„You okay?” Adam gave her a strange look and she blushed. „Were you just staring at me?”
Serena’s face turned the colour of an overripe tomato. „I-I…” She was at a loss of words.
He began laughing loudly and heartedly. „Don’t deny it, Serena, you were! Though, I can’t hold it against you, I am a beautiful man!”
„Shut up”, she answered and put her hands into her face, while he kept laughing. This had to be the most embarrassing moment ever. Because truth to be told, Serena really liked Adam, in more than just a friendly way. She had been very careful with boys in the past year, but she didn’t want to stay alone forever. But she hadn’t settled to like Adam that much. At first, they had purely been friends, but the more they got to know each other, the more Serena realized what she was missing in her life. Though, in the end she wasn’t sure if she wanted Adam or a replacement for Lucas. After all, her heart still was with Lucas and a part of it would always be. How could she tangle herself out of her emotional mess? Deep inside her, there was the fear of ruining the friendship with Adam by telling him the truth – the whole truth – and by confessing some kinds of non-platonic feelings to him. It was so confusing that she wanted to cry. Tears burnt in her eyes and she had to tear her gaze away, so Adam would dismiss them.
„Hey there”, he softly said as he noticed the glimmering moisture in her green eyes, „I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make fun of you.” When she didn’t react, he wrapped his long arms around her crouching form. „Please don’t cry, Serena. It wasn’t right to say that.”
A warm feeling flooded her body as his arms made contact with her skin. She chuckled. „I wasn’t staring at you because you were beautiful”, she joked and looked at his expression turning to a playful pout. „Come on”, he replied with a boyish grin, „let’s finish our maths homework, so we can take a stroll in the park.”

It was March 2008.


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Walking through the park was kind of a surreal feeling for Serena. Just two years ago, this had been the place where she used to meet her two best friends at that time. It was the place where Lucas and she had become a couple and moreover, it was the place where the three of them had made their weighty promise. Serena felt the emotions rising in her chest, as she remembered the scene. „Let’s promise we’ll never let anything take away our happiness together.”

She shook her head slightly to get rid of the mental image of David, Lucas and her sitting in the grass.
„You okay?” Adam asked and looked at her concerned.
The brunette giggled at his words. „Why do you always ask that?”
„I care about you, that’s all.” His honest answer was. „So I have to make sure, nothing bad happens to you.”
Serena felt nostalgic at his statement, but stayed silent. It was nice to hear such things, but the fear of losing everything close to her again made her heart clench. To her luck, Adam didn’t push the subject and wandered off to something else. „So what are you going to do tomorrow?”
She beamed a smile at him. „I’m going to visit Sebastian. It’s been a long time since I have seen him.”
„He was with that youth camp in Croatia, right?”
„Yes, he was their team leader. I hope he’s taken some good photos from there.” Sebastian had hadn’t finished his study yet, but in his holidays he now worked for youth travelling organizations.
„So, you don’t have any time tomorrow?” Adam’s eyes looked down at her begging.
The girl couldn’t help but to keep smiling at him. He was so cute, when he was trying to convince her to come over. „I’ll be at yours at seven. Will that be alright?”
„Sure”, he exclaimed enthusiastically before she took his hand and pulled him towards the playground. „Come on, Adam”, she told him, „let’s take a ride on the swings!”
It was true, Serena was becoming a woman, yet she had her moments of childishness. And she loved it. She had experienced so much bad so far, that she sometimes just needed to enjoy the moment and the smallest piece of happiness.


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„Serena, it’s so good to see you again!” The 23-year-old man pulled her into a tight embrace.
„How has it been in Croatia, Bastian?” She replied with a smile on her lips.
„Fantastic. It was a great way to escape all this university stress. I’m glad I took the opportunity.”
Sebastian had returned to his home town for the last days of his holidays and for the time being he lived with his parents again. „Would you like to drink something?”
„Some juice would be nice. Thank you.”
„Alright”, the blonde replied and turned towards the kitchen, „just go ahead and take a seat in the living room. Make yourself at home.”
Her eyes sparkled, as she walked down the corridor. It had been a few months since she had been in this house, but of course she still knew everything around here. It felt good to talk to Sebastian. Unlike Adam, he had witnessed her terrible past and everything that had happened to her, Lucas and David. Well, maybe