War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (ebook reader for pc TXT) 📕

She was sure he would speak soft, tender words to her such as her father had uttered before his death, and that she would not be able to bear it and would burst into sobs in his presence. Yet sooner or later it had to be, and she went in. The sobs rose higher and higher in her throat as she more and more clearly distinguished his form and her shortsighted eyes tried to make out his features, and then she saw his face and met his gaze.

He was lying in a squirrel-fur dressing gown on a divan, surrounded by pillows. He was thin and pale. In one thin, translucently white hand he held a handkerchief, while with the other he stroked the delicate mustache he had grown, moving his fingers slowly. His eyes gazed at them as they entered.

On seeing his face and meeting his eyes Princess Márya’s pace suddenly slackened, she felt her tears dry up and her sobs ceased. She suddenly felt guilty and grew timid on catching the expression of his face and eyes.

“But in what am I to blame?” she asked herself. And his cold, stern look replied: “Because you are alive and thinking of the living, while I⁠ ⁠…”

In the deep gaze that seemed to look not outwards but inwards there was an almost hostile expression as he slowly regarded his sister and Natásha.

He kissed his sister, holding her hand in his as was their wont.

“How are you, Márya? How did you manage to get here?” said he in a voice as calm and aloof as his look.

Had he screamed in agony, that scream would not have struck such horror into Princess Márya’s heart as the tone of his voice.

“And have you brought Nikolúshka?” he asked in the same slow, quiet manner and with an obvious effort to remember.

“How are you now?” said Princess Márya, herself surprised at what she was saying.

“That, my dear, you must ask the doctor,” he replied, and again making an evident effort to be affectionate, he said with his lips only (his words clearly did not correspond to his thoughts):

“Merci, chère amie, d’être venue.”113

Princess Márya pressed his hand. The pressure made him wince just perceptibly. He was silent, and she did not know what to say. She now understood what had happened to him two days before. In his words, his tone, and especially in that calm, almost antagonistic look could be felt an estrangement from everything belonging to this world, terrible in one who is alive. Evidently only with an effort did he understand anything living; but it was obvious that he failed to understand, not because he lacked the power to do so but because he understood something else⁠—something the living did not and could not understand⁠—and which wholly occupied his mind.

“There, you see how strangely fate has brought us together,” said he, breaking the silence and pointing to Natásha. “She looks after me all the time.”

Princess Márya heard him and did not understand how he could say such a thing. He, the sensitive, tender Prince Andréy, how could he say that, before her whom he loved and who loved him? Had he expected to live he could not have said those words in that offensively cold tone. If he had not known that he was dying, how could he have failed to pity her and how could he speak like that in her presence? The only explanation was that he was indifferent, because something else, much more important, had been revealed to him.

The conversation was cold and disconnected and continually broke off.

“Márya came by way of Ryazán,” said Natásha.

Prince Andréy did not notice that she called his sister Márya, and only after calling her so in his presence did Natásha notice it herself.

“Really?” he asked.

“They told her that all Moscow has been burned down, and that⁠ ⁠…”

Natásha stopped. It was impossible to talk. It was plain that he was making an effort to listen, but could not do so.

“Yes, they say it’s burned,” he said. “It’s a great pity,” and he gazed straight before him, absently stroking his mustache with his fingers.

“And so you have met Count Nikoláy, Márya?” Prince Andréy suddenly said, evidently wishing to speak pleasantly to them. “He wrote here that he took a great liking to you,” he went on simply and calmly, evidently unable to understand all the complex significance his words had for living people. “If you liked him too, it would be a good thing for you to get married,” he added rather more quickly, as if pleased at having found words he had long been seeking.

Princess Márya heard his words but they had no meaning for her, except as a proof of how far away he now was from everything living.

“Why talk of me?” she said quietly and glanced at Natásha.

Natásha, who felt her glance, did not look at her. All three were again silent.

“André, would you like⁠ ⁠…” Princess Márya suddenly said in a trembling voice, “would you like to see Nikolúshka? He is always talking about you!”

Prince Andréy smiled just perceptibly and for the first time, but Princess Márya, who knew his face so well, saw with horror that he did not smile with pleasure or affection for his son, but with quiet, gentle irony because he thought she was trying what she believed to be the last means of arousing him.

“Yes, I shall be very glad to see him. Is he quite well?”

When little Nikolúshka was brought into Prince Andréy’s room he looked at his father with frightened eyes, but did not cry, because no one else was crying. Prince Andréy kissed him and evidently did not know what to say to him.

When Nikolúshka had been led away, Princess Márya again went up to her brother, kissed him, and unable to restrain her tears any longer began to cry.

He looked at her attentively.

“Is it about Nikolúshka?” he asked.

Princess Márya nodded her head, weeping.

“Márya, you know the Gosp⁠ ⁠…” but he broke off.

“What did you