The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

“What does that mean?  Don’t you think he does?”

“No, I know he does, but this isn’t the first time I’ve disappointed my brother.”  He swallowed hard this time.  “I—never mind.  Never mind.  I just didn’t want to do it again.”  He shook his head, rocking it against his palms.  “It’s not fair that I got this chance instead of Ben.  You know he was better than me, right?  If he hadn’t been injured, he would have been amazing, a starting QB wherever he wanted to go in the league.  He’s so smart, he can read the defense like I only wish I could.  And his arm strength, and his accuracy…”  Kayden shook his head.  “I got the chance instead of him, and I fucked it up.  I fucked it up,” he said again.

“You can pull yourself back together and I bet you’ll get another shot.  The Leviathans and the Elks both need some help at your position, so don’t count yourself out.  And you and Ben will make up,” I assured him.  I patted his back.  “He’ll calm down once he sees that you’ve changed.  You won’t act the same way you did before, right?  I’m sure you won’t.  I’m sure that this is the wake-up call you need to make some really positive changes in your life.”

There was a long, long silence before Kayden looked up at me.  “Thank you.”  He put his hand on my shoulder and leaned toward me, smiling slightly.  “Thanks for being so sure, about my brother and about me.  It’s nice to hear that.”  I smiled back, glad that I’d made him feel better.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Both of us jumped at Ben’s angry voice.

“Kayden?  What did I tell you?  What was the one thing I said about Gaby?”  He strode over and threw his brother’s hand off me.  “I told you to stay away from her.  I told you how good she is with Tessa, that I couldn’t lose her as a babysitter.”  His words throbbed with fury.  “You can’t control yourself around the one woman I asked you to leave alone.  You can’t control yourself at all.”

I jumped up and my ankle gave way, but I pushed past Ben and out the door, and I ran down to my car.  I heard footsteps right behind me.

“Gaby.  Gaby!  What did he do?”

I fumbled for my keys.  “Nothing!  There was nothing happening between me and your brother.  He wasn’t bothering me!  I wouldn’t quit and leave Tessa over him, anyway, so you don’t have to worry.  I have to go.”  My keys fell onto the gravel driveway because my hands shook like I actually had done something wrong.

“Hold on a second.”  Ben picked up the keys.  “Gaby, if he wasn’t being an ass with you, then why are you so upset?”

“Because your brother was sad and talking to me about it, and then you came barging in like…like something inappropriate was going on!  Like seduction, or something!  I’m not a little girl,” I informed him.  “If a guy does something that I don’t like, I’m perfectly able to tell him so!  And to kick him in his privates, if need be.”  I paused.  “What’s that look?  Are you smiling now?”

“It’s just been a while since I’ve heard the word ‘privates’ in regard to—”

“You understood what I meant.  Why did you just act like that?  You ran in like an avenging angel or something!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be saying that to Kayden,” I recommended.  “He’s upset enough already.”

“Yeah, me apologizing to Kayden.”  Ben shook his head.  “Sure.”  I stared at him, and he repeated, “Sure.  If I was mistaken about his behavior just now, I will.”

“You were,” I assured him.  “It was an overreaction.”

“Maybe.”  He looked at my car keys, clenched in his fist.  “I don’t trust him.  I don’t trust him around you.”

“Why?”

There was a long enough pause that I didn’t think Ben was going to answer, but he finally spoke.  “Kayden was involved with my wife.”

I felt my mouth fall open, but I couldn’t use it to speak.

“I don’t think he planned it,” he told me.  “Maybe neither of them did.  I wasn’t there to know.”  He sighed.  “It’s hard when you start out as a coach in this league.  I was spending all my time at the stadium—I slept on the couch, took showers in the locker room.  Marin was by herself in a city she didn’t know and she was lonely.  And angry at me, for the paycheck I was bringing home, for not being the star quarterback like she’d planned, for not giving her the life that she thought we’d have together.  Kayden was in college a half-hour away.  He was getting in trouble so I wanted him to spend a lot of time at our house so I could give him direction and keep an eye on him.  I came home one night when they didn’t expect me and I found them together.”

“Your brother and your wife,” I said.  “Kayden did that?”

“He was young, and dumb, and insecure, and probably drunk most of the times they were—you know.  He wasn’t even able to stand when I found them that night and he passed out on the floor.  I don’t know how long it had been going on, I don’t know any of the details, and I don’t want to.  Then we found out that Marin was pregnant with Tessa—”

“Ben!” I burst out.  “Are you saying that she isn’t your daughter?”

“Tess is my daughter!”  He almost shouted it.  “No matter what, she’s my child,” he continued more quietly.  “But I never wanted to see a blood test.”

“Oh, Ben,” I said, and reached for him and put my palms on his cheeks.  He covered my hands with his.  “Of course, Tessa is your daughter!  Test results wouldn’t make any difference, not at all.”

His hands moved to my waist.  “I forgave Kayden.  He was so sorry, and I know him too well to think that he set out to hurt me.