Many poems dedicated to you... by Hannah Pate (finding audrey .txt) 📕

I can finally say, that I am still in love with you, you say that you hate me, yet you love me at the same time... How does that work...  I am being nice saying I love you too, but I can never bring myself to say the words, "I hate you too.." in the conversation, when it is so easy for you to say it to me, and it hurts to know that you hate me, yet you can never say, "I hate you" to your Aunt, but you can say it to me and expect me to still say I love you back... which is what I will do, until the day I don't anymore, which is the day I am waiting for, badly... I'll finally be able to say "I hate you" back to you, because I no longer love you, but until that day comes, I will love you...

To the boy I once loved:

I am still sad

I am still going to write about you

Even though you have no right to be able to still have power over me

You have no right to even still be in my life after the pain you have caused me

I still say I love you even when you are a complete dick to me

I still say I love you even when my heart is breaking as you say the words "I hate you" to me over and over again

And honestly, I believe those words coming from you

I believe you do hate me

Even if you say you are just kidding

I still believe that you hate me

Even just the smallest bit

You hate me

Yet I love you...

And it's not fair

At all

You have no right to still have any part of my heart after the pain you have caused me by loving you...

Dear you...

I hate you...

You keep saying you hate me, then you say you love me... So which one is it? Because as of right now, I would accept either answer, as long as you tell me the truth, and you don't keep giving me the message of, "Go away, come here, go away, come here…”

I miss you

I miss you, and I don't know why

I hate that I miss you like this

Yet, I do

And I can't help it

It isn't your fault that I miss you

It is my own

I got too attached to you when you didn't

You can easily forget about me

But I can't forget about you...

You were everything to me

I fucking love you

I still do

And that won't change

Maybe one day

I will be able to go 5 minutes without thinking about you

Because I know that you don't think about me during the day, like I do with you

I think about you when I'm sad,

Or whenever I see something that reminds me of you

I think about you whenever everything in life is going great

And sometimes I can go a good 20 minutes without you

The only time I get a break from you is during sleep

Which is rare nowadays

And even when I do manage to sleep

I find myself dreaming of you

I find myself daydreaming over something that will never be

And I couldn't be any sadder about that fact...

 I feel like you don't like me anymore
What else would it be?
You can physically look at me and not smile, when I breakdown smiling when you look at me
And I hate that
I think you think I'm ugly or something
Because you sent sick emoji's when we were video chatting and I apologized saying I'm sorry that my face makes you sick
You didn't say no it's not you, you're beautiful
No, you just hung up
And I think a bit of me died when that happened
Because that is the moment I knew, you aren't coming back
And I have to live with that knowledge for the rest of my life
Until I find someone who will actually love me for who I am
You say you love me for me, yet I don't feel it
Like at all
You said I love you
I said it back
But I don't feel that you actually mean it
You are just saying it to say it
But, I mean it
Every time that I say it to you
I love you
But you don't love me...

This is to you

Yes you

The one who says they hate me

Then says they love me seconds later

I can't bear to see you do this

Yet I let you do it...

And I have no idea why

You are every emotion running through my head

And every ache I feel in my body

All in one

When you called today

I couldn't stop smiling, and I hate that

I hate that you make me feel this way

When I know I don't make you feel the same way...

I hate knowing the fact that one day, you won't be there to make me smile

You will stop talking to me like all the rest

You will stop caring

You will stop saying I love you

And eventually you will stop saying you hate me

Even when it means the world to me and more when you say you hate me

Because I feel like I finally know what you think about me

And it hurts

I lay here crying, knowing that a small portion of you might actually hate me

And I can't bear to see that

So I will build my walls up

And I won't let others in

Until I can finally kick you out of my walls

And build a barrier between us

Where the feelings I had for you will lie to rest

Once and for all

Here

A letter to you

Once again

I messaged you today

Even though you haven't been on messenger in a week

I am starting to think that you have actually managed to kill yourself

And I know it is not my fault

Yet I feel that it is

You said you hate me

That you never want to talk to me again

Then you said just kidding

And then you left me on read

So here I am

Believeing that you actually never want to talk to me again

Since that is what you said

So goodbye...