Many poems dedicated to you... by Hannah Pate (finding audrey .txt) 📕

You

You are always there

In the back of mind

Buried deep in the confines of where I keep my feelings and thoughts

Over, and over, and over again

Day, after day, after day for days on end

I am always thinking about you, at night when I can’t sleep, you are always there, on my mind, When you are not thinking of me, I’m certain you are not

You had the biggest impact on my life

You were my comfort, the person I could run to when I was crying my face off

You calmed me when I was in the middle of a breakdown, anxiety attack, whatever

You were there every day until you were not

I can’t believe that I am saying this but sometimes I think I miss you…

I can’t miss you anymore even though you say every once in a while, “I miss you…”

I just can’t

I can’t

Can’t...

 A new boy has come into your life

long distance once again

You have no clue where he lives yet you somehow feel that it is long distance 

he's falling for you even though you may not feel it 

He keeps saying i love you and all you do is laugh 

because how could a boy ever be in love with you 

you can't even love yourself 

you tell yourself you need to find someone that can love you the way you need to love yourself

But the boy that you fancy right now 

this boy that you know nothing about 

is just like your ex

The one most of these poems are about 

he's not exactly like him but it's shocking the similarities 

but that is what you are attracted too 

 This isn't being up late, it's not even midnight yet. But, here you are, on the phone with a boy you feel yourself falling in love with.  You just hope that he feels the same towards you.  But how can he? He keeps telling you he loves you and you think 'How can this boy be so in love with a broken person?  How can he love someone that can't even love herself?' You tell yourself over and over again that you need to find someone that can love you the way you need to love yourself.  Is he the one? Or is this just another thing that will eventually end.  Hopefully not, but, who knows?  You keep telling yourself that he means it even when he doesn't message you for hours on end.  You know why he doesn't but you still get nervous.  You feel like he's just gonna become a memory.  You keep wondering if the senior you see yourself with years later is the one.  You can see him everyday at school, yet you are so afraid of falling in love with him because you see him everyday.  What if something happens and he suddenly hates you... You couldn't bear to see that happen because you are really close with him.  He yells at you for talking to your exes saying he would never continue to talk to them.  You're afraid that is what is gonna happen.  Please, just don't be scared to fall in love with an idea that seems so nice.  Because you haven't had someone that you could see everyday in so long.  Only these internet boys that are doomed from the start.  Please don't let them break you again sweetheart.  Your heart is gold and I would hate to see you waste it on a lost cause.

 Today you broke the news to the boy from last night that you cannot handle the relationship.  He is only worried about sex and you know this. So why are you sitting here, typing about it like it is the worst thing ever?  Maybe it's because he became a dick the minute you said that you couldn't be in a relationship with him.  That was the moment you found out that he doesn't give a damn about you.  He only wanted sex.  He asked if you were okay, you said no, he asked why, you gave him a list of 6 things.  He only took into account the things that applied to him.  You said you wanna be friends.  He told you everything will be okay, then turns around and says that it won't be.  Don't believe him hun.  It will be.  Just not right now.

 Today, at lunch.  I told you how someone in the lunch line hit me in the ass with theirs.  You laughed and ass tapped me quickly with your hand and turning away as if you didn't do a thing.  I looked at you and laughed.  We were making jokes about you being a daddy and you asked, "is that why we can't date?"  I laughed and died on the inside a bit.  I yelled no at the top of my lungs at lunch when you said this.  I got up to stand around the corner and you said, "sorry Hannah, we can only be friends."  I died a bit on the inside at that.  I saw Zach, a great friend of mine and grabbed his hand.  Realizing I had left you behind I turned around and yelled at you to grab my hand.  Zach, you, and I walked to the stairs holding hands. You followed us up the stairs, you called me mommy which I loved.  I told you to get on your knees for me.  You almost did but a teacher was standing there, so you didn't.  You hugged me before 2nd hour and it felt so nice the protective hug with your arms wrapped around me.  I breathed you in before you left.  You held on for a good minute or 2 before leaving.  You touched my ass, then friend zoned me.  A great day indeed.        

Today in French, I felt the bottom of my stomach drop so far into my shoes that there was no way they were coming out of there anytine soon.  You confessed.  You walked into it.  We were learning how to talk about our likes and dislikes in french.  the question was what do we like, we were working together you and I,  you put down on your paper Hannah likes Jon I told you to keep it, you did.  So i put Jon likes on my paper and I asked what do you like 

You got so embarrased.  Your face turned bright read and you kept saaying uhhhhh you took my paper and wrote in very small letters.  if I read it correctly which i am most certain I did, it said my name.  Hannah in very small letters 

you were so embarrased that I knew,  you were even embarrassed when our friend said that we need to date since we both like each other

you were sitting down I was standing next to you, you had your arm around my waist and I looked at you

You moved your hand lower so it was near my ass and I died and walked away

you pulled me back to you and put your arm around my waist again and wouldn't let me walk away.

A girl I used to be good friends with asked if we were dating I just said totes even though we are not

your face turned read and I died