Many poems dedicated to you... by Hannah Pate (finding audrey .txt) 📕

You're right

 You're right, I'm wrong, as always...

You matter, you always will

I don't have the answers, at least not right now

June 26th, 2019

No, I haven't fogotten.  We may not be friends anymore, but I have not forgotten your big day.  I just want to tell you happy birthday.  You're 16, I wonder if you are going to throw a big party like some people do, yet you are not just those some people, you are a quiet person, never liked much attention.  Maybe you will go and take your driving test, I really hope you pass.  Then you can go and do all the things you said you wanted to do.  Maybe you will pass your GED test at 17 and go and live with your friend in Indiana.  Happy Birthday.

July 26, 2019

 I'm sorry...

August 18th, 2019

 Today was okay, until around 5 p.m.

Today is the day I lost one of my greatest friends

Not a human friend, a dog friend

He died today, I've had him since I was 3 

I'm almost 17 now...

It hurts... 

It's never going to be the same...

I love you...

Goodbye...

Favoritism

 She's your favorite, I already know.  I don't need any hints to figure that one out.  I simply asked to spend the night at someones house and you said no because i'm only 17.  Yeah, a boys house, my boyfriend's house, who cares!?  I'm 17, the legal age of consent in Missouri, so why not?  

Then I learn that my sister gets to stay at her boyfried's house tonight against my father's wishes of her not doing so.  

I said, how is that fair to me?  

"She's 18."  "He only said that for last weekend."  Were the responses I got.  

So, thanks mom.  

I've done a lot for you and when I simply ask to spend the night at a person's house, you say no.

She's you favorite, don't lie.

October 6th, 2019

 I miss you...

December 29th, 2019

 Is it bad to miss you?  Because I do.  You were my best friend for so long, it just became a routine to talk to you.  We haven't talked in months and it feels like years.  Not having someone to explain everything in your head who will understand, who will get it because they know what it feels like.  Because they have been there themselves.  I realize I was a terrible friend, I hurt you many times and each time you let me back in, with a few more guarded walls around you.  I understand, I do.  I miss you...

December 29th, 2019 part 2

 You deserve closure.  I agree with you.  There were a couple of reasons why i hurt you the way I did.  First, I didn't realize what I was doing.  I was so consumed in my own self hatred that at that point, I didn't care if you got hurt too.  I hate that I hurt you, I hate myself for hurting you that way.  Another reason, I told the person the things that I did because at that point, I thought we were all still friends, even though you had made it clear you wanted nothing to do with them.  I thought that you were going to forgive them and we would all be a little group again, but no, I was wrong.  You were always trying to get through to me but I didn't want to hear what you had to say even though it was all true, I was an awful friend to you then.  I loved you, I really did.  I still do honestly.  You were the only person I really truly trusted and I broke that trust so many times and you still somewhat forgave me.  I didn't deserve your forgiveness because Everytime, I was still a bad friend.  I understand everything I did and I am so sorry, you didn't deserve any of it, you were a really good friend to me, you cared about my feelings.  I miss you.  

random writings

 Here is just some of the writing that I have done for English assignments.  They're not great, but I thought they are worth sharing.

 

 

This is what happens when you fall too quickly (fiction): 

Oh, love,

How foolish you can be 

Do you think that I love you?

You’re as gullible as a dog.

 

Those are all the things he said to me before I died.

We were a casual couple,

No drama, no hate, just a couple.

Then one day, he changed

It was like the weather, unpredictable and mean

That is what he became anyway

 

Through I love yous 

Through dates

All of it with hate

He hated me 

Or at least, that is how it felt to me

 

At first, he was sweet

Compliments were an every minute occurrence

He loved me.

Then, he changed

I don’t understand what happened

One minute we were fine, the next, no feelings, just hate

Before everything changed he was so sweet

 

His skin felt like a brand new teddy bear

He was so soft.

 

He smelled of lavender and juice

You could smell his cologne, it was that strong

He smelled like tropical laundry soap and happiness

He was always happy, you know

 

He tasted like apple juice and peaches.

Sometimes, I could even taste the cologne he was wearing

His hair, it was so soft

I could run my fingers through it for hours.

 

At first sight, he was gorgeous

Fluffy hair 

Pretty eyes 

Everything I had ever wanted

But looks can be deceiving.

 

After a while, all I could smell was salt

My own tears became overpowering with the scent

It happened so often, why wouldn’t it?

 

All I could taste was the metal of the blade held against my lips

 

Buzzing, all I heard for awhile

Buzz

Buzz 

Buzz

 

The jokes, the laughter behind my back, just distant memories 

All the beautiful lies he told me

You’re beautiful

You’re mine forever

All just lies

 

Falling

Falling

I am falling away

What has happened?

I used to be happy

 

I saw him the other day

His arm was around someone else

I was green with envy

Yet also,