Harder to Hold by D'razhane Woods (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📕

 "She's good for holding grudges mom, and finding out that I've been sneaking around with Graves for three months will tear her apart. She'll never forgive me.

 Tallah wraps an arm around me and holds me close to her side, her wonderful lavender perfume wafting into my nose. I rest my head on her shoulder and relax against her. "You'll get through this, okay? God will allow everything to fall into place, either if it's good or bad."

 With that said, she moves to kiss the side of my chin and leaves me alone in my room. I lay down and decide to sleep it all off and when I awaken, the sun has gone down and I feel a small weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I walk out of my room and go to down stairs hearing Tallah and Klayton having a conversation. When I see them, Klayton is sitting at the wooden dining table going through his iPhone, and Tallah is hovering over the stove stirring spicy chili that I smell consuming the house in a large pot. I quietly make my way to the fridge and pour myself a glass of milk.

 "Well look what the cat dragged in," Klayton greets with that obnoxious smirk. "A sneaky little girl who thinks she can get away with anything."

 "Cut it out," Tallah says and puts her brown curls into a messy bun, stray strands dangling around her oval face.

 He ignores her and moves to stand beside me, lying his elbows on the counter behind him. "I saw two love birds kissing in this very kitchen who happened to looks just like you and Graves."

 I glare at him as that weight comes crashing right back down on me with a few extra pounds. He's the last...no not even the last person I had ever wanted to witness that. Now my life is definitely over. "Shut the hell up."

 "How is Kara going to feel when she finds out that you've been sleeping with her boyfriend?" He looks at me deviously.

 "Don't you dare tell her anything," I hiss at him.

 "Why not? She deserves to know that her own best friend has betrayed her. It's the-"

 "I said cut it out," Tallah raises her voice in warning. She turns to my brother who is right now seconds away from getting his teeth knocked into his throat. "Klayton, I advise you not to say a single word to Kara about the situation. Let Malorie handle her own problems, do you understand?"

 His dark eyes never stray from my face and a big smile spreads on his lips as he says, "Yes ma'am." He sits back down on the table.

 Now with my mood completely spoiled and my apatite lost and tell my mom that I'm not hungry and head back to my lonely room. I decide to hop into the shower using almost steamy hot water to relax my muscles. I don't know how long I stay in there but I makes sure to use all the hot water to piss Klayton off and crawl into bed, forcing all thoughts of Graves out of my head.

I bang my fist on the alarm clock to shut off the annoying sound blaring in my ears, and slowly flutter my eye open. The last thing I want to do is go to school. I'd give anything to stay in bed all day and just seep, but I'm not the one ditch school and Tallah is way to smart to let me get away with it. Because I care for my life and future, I force myself out of bed and get dressed. I change into tight light blue skinny jeans and a violet tight plain t-shirt. It compliments my body and skin tone well and really brightens my eyes. It's the beginning of September in Colorado fall is the best time of the year. Never too hot and never too cold so you won't hear me complaining.

          I head to the bathroom to brush my hair and comb through my thick mess of hair that falls an inch below my shoulders. I tie it up into a high bun atop my head and put on a good amount of mascara and lip gloss, including my Calvin Klein perfume and go grab my backpack. Unsurprising to see that Klayton is there waiting in our grey 2006 Chevy by the time I'm out of the house, I hop into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh and fasten my seat belt. Klayton starts the car and turns on the music, dialing the knob to a ridiculous amount of noise.

          I glare at him. "Turn the music down you idiot! What are you trying to do?" I exclaim. The whole car is vibrating and I swear any longer of this and my head is going to explode. It is way too early for all of this. At this rate, this fool will by deaf by the time he hits thirty years old.

          Ignoring me, he smirks and speeds off from in front of the house. He must be getting at me for taking all the hot water last night, but you know what? I'm not having it. I open the car door and he slams on the breaks. "Are you out of your mind?!"

          I climb out the car and continue on my way to school. I care to ditch but I don't care if I'm late. Luckily our house isn't that far from school and by the time I get there, the bell hasn't even rung yet to start the day. Kara is waiting there for me on the steps of Mountain Peak high school and comes to approach me. She hooks her arm through mine and we walk inside.

          "Hey hun, why were you walking?"

          She never misses a thing. "Klayton," is all I have to say for her to get the clue.

          She shakes her head. "What a douche." We step in front of her ocker and she picks out her lip gloss, getting ready for her daily routine. To see Kara you would understand all the reasons why Graves fell for her in the first place. She has the beautiful black bone straight hair that stops to the middle of her back, hazel eyes that match her incredibly bushy eyelashes to help stand them out, and a knockout smile with freckles coloring her small pointed nose. A petite small body and a pretty nice butt as if she needed anymore good attributes. She has a lot more confidence than I do and that's why I look up to her. But I've been a terrible person to her despite how well she has treated me.

          "Have you seen Graves at all on your way here?" She asks. "My lips are moist and waiting.

          I fake a chuckle and pretend not to be bothered by her sentence as my heart leaps at the mention of his name. "I haven't seen him."

          "Hey Kara," a voice suddenly says from behind and we turn to see Graves standing there with a small smile.

           Kara jumps on him into a tight embrace and pulls away to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips. I can't help but to look away even though I have seen this plenty of times, though I have never gotten used to it. It's always been hard for me being next to them while they kissed, - clearly I'm the third wheel who can't get a boyfriend- especially when I know exactly what it's like. A sour lump forms in my throat.

          "I think I'm gonna have you kick Klayton's ass since Malorie won't do it herself. He left her to walk to school today."

           I scoff. "It's not big deal. Besides, taking a walk is exactly what I needed."

          "Can't say I'm surprised." Graves' voice is faint, barely audible with the mixture of students walking and talking in the halls.

          "Lets just say that payback isn't going to feel good for him," Kara says. "Come walk me to class."

         He nods his head and then pulls her into a random embrace only to stare directly and mouthe, "Stay here." He pulls away from Kara and takes her hand.

          She looks to me with a bright smile. "I'll see you later Mal."

           I wave and for some reason find myself actually waiting there for Graves to come back, knowing that it's a bad idea. I know his motives. He's going to try and convince to stay with him and although I'm so tempted to change my mind, I can't let that happen. I watch him as he comes back towards me and takes my hand, nearly dragging me out of the school over to the side of the building to not be seen. I lean up against the wall and put on a brave face as he takes his pace in front of me.

          "Malorie..." he starts.

          I shake my head, already knowing what he's going to say. "Stop it. She loves you." After seeing them together it put on a new determination in my attitude.

          "I love you."

          I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing that. "You don't love her back?" I ask, astonished and ignoring the flutters in my stomach.

          He sighs. "I do but...What I feel with you is something I've never felt before. I can't just ignore it."

          "But this isn't right and you know it."

            "You're the one that makes me happy Mal! Why won't you understand that?" His voice raises an octave. "You're the one I want to be with, I'm sorry but accept it and be with me."

          My eyes widen. This is getting out of hand and I'm getting a little pissed off. "How could you even ask me that question when you haven't broken up with Kara? It's bad enough that you've already cheated on her, do you not care about her at all?"

          He gives me a hard look. "Don't act like I'm the only one in the wrong here. You're her best friend remember? You're just as bad as I am."

          My head sags down and tears overflow my eyes.

          "Do you love me? At least give me that."

          "Please don't do this. You're making this so much harder than it has to be."

          "Tell me," he demands. "I need to know."

          I stare back at him with pleading eyes. "Please..."

          He runs a smooth hand through the locks of his black tousled hair. "If you tell me I won't bother you anymore, but I need to know that everything I've felt for you wasn't for no reason."

          I take a long time in answering him. "I don't want to but...I do," I finally admit and I almost confess all the feelings I have for him, but I keep them at bay for the sake of Kara.

          Before I know it, his lips are crashing against mine so aggressively I have to place my hands on his chest to keep him back a little. His hands find my waists and yanks me fiercely up against him and I'm unsure If I should pull him closer or away. That sweet masculine scent of his overtakes me and