Harder to Hold by D'razhane Woods (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📕

          "Don't leave me Mal," Graves says in a hoarse whisper.

           I don't know what to say. I have to do what's right or this is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I want to be able to cherish this moment and give in to it all so that I can be happy, but there's gotta be another way for me to move on. I can get past this.

          "You don't know what you've done to me," he continues softly. "I'm willing to give every part of me to you as long as you let me."

          "Kara loves you and you chose to be with her first. She's so amazing and you shouldn't pass that up just for me. I have to go."

          Graves repeatedly pecks my lips, holding me captive with his tender kisses, and I let him for a while before I step aside. I'm going to go to class." I walk away from him back into the school and head to my locker to get my things for my Biology class. Pairs of eyes follow me for being late as I take my seat next to Shari.

          "I'm marking you late Miss Boleman," Mr. Boe scolds me as he writes something on the board. I swear he has eyes on the back of his head because I have no idea how he saw me walk in.

          I don't bother to say anything. Shari and I don't talk much. The only time we do is when we're doing a project together because she strives for a good grade and she thinks I give her that. Mr. Boe goes on with whatever lesson he was teaching the class and I take hard notes to get every thought of Graves out of my mind. When class ends, I have no intentions of making any sort of conversation, but being best friends with Kara that'l be impossible. This may be the only time I wish I didn't have friends because I'm in such a foul mood.

          I got to my locker to get my things for my next class and before I can leave, Kara joins me. "Hey hun," she says. "have you noticed anything strange about Graves? He's been acting a little distant."

         I shrug. "I mean, it is still the beginning of the day, he's probably just tired."

          She gives me a -I'm-not-that-stupid look. "Come on now, we both now Graves. He doesn't get tired until it's three o'clock in the morning. Something's up with him." She puffs out a heavy breath.

         I resist the urge to groan and respond. "Just give it some time, maybe he'll come around."

         "Hey, if you know what's going on you should tell me."

          My stomach drops down to my feet. "I really have no clue Kara."

          She folds her arms across her chest stubbornly, refusing to give up.

          I quickly think of a good excuse to use to get her off my back or some kind of distraction that will help. "I'm sorry but I've got too much to think about right now. My mom has just started dating this new guy and I'm not sure how I feel about him yet."

         She gaps. "No flipping way. Is he a complete dork or the man next door with no kids and extra money in the pockets?" She doesn't give me time to answer. "Have you met him at all? Is he cute?"

          "He's cute in my moms type of way I guess. He'd be okay if he didn't try so hard." I'm literally making up a random character in my head. It's just been lies after lies with her and it's becoming to be way too easy. This is the only option for now until I can build up enough courage to tell her the truth.

          "What's his name?"

          Oh god... "His name is...Ro...Rich-Richard," I sputter.

          "When's the next time he's coming over? Maybe I can get a little sneak peak through the windows." She laughs.

          I giggle. "I doubt it. I don't think he's going to last long. He's busy all the time and the longer my mom sees him the more she loses interest."

      Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Well jeez, did she even give the poor man a chance? How long have they been going out?"

          "A week."

          She punches my arm. "And you're just now telling me this?! You should be ashamed of yourself."

            I just want to be done with the conversation already. "Well I told you that he's snot going to last long so there was no point in telling." I try not sound annoyed, and then I'm saved by the bell and I'm tempted not to cry out in joy.

          "Alright girly, I'll see you at lunch. I want more details about this guy too." She gives me a kiss on the cheek and we depart to our classes.

Thank God for the only last two classes we share, or I'm pretty sure I'd be in right now trying to avoid the truth from her. Unfortunately though, having my next class with Graves isn't going to make things any easier for me. As I step into the room, we make eye contact and his orange eyes watch me as I take my seat behind him. Mrs. Nicholeson walks to the front center of the room and starts. "Alright class, get out a pencil and paper and get ready for the test.

The room sounds of shuffling paper and small side conversations before the teacher tells us to quiet down and writes the questions down on the board. I didn't think to study ast night so hopefully I don't completely fail on this test. I'm only lucky it's not a big one. I make sre to think hard on every single question becuase I don't need any distractions to cloud my mind to keep me from a good grade. Ocassionally I find myself glancing at the back of Graves' head , missing they way his soft hair wouldd feel in between my fingers. Why did we have to be such idiots?

By the time lunch comes around, I'm putting away my books while Kara waits for me. "Please hurry, my stomach is eating itsself apart," she complains.

"Hey, it's not my fault you forgot to eat breakfast this morning," I say.

"But these people are rushing in line like a pack of wolves and all the good stuff is going to be gone soon."

I close my locker. "Okay okay lets go." I'm dreading this. All three of us sitting together while I try and act normal. Ususally it's better on any other day becuase Graves and I had gotten so used to hiding from Kara, but now that we've broken it off, I'm heart broken and have no idea how to feel.

When we've all gotten our trays of food, we sit at our common table by the window and I try my best to keep my eyes on my tray.

"So did Malorie give you the new details about her moms new boy toy?" Kara questions Graves.

He raises a curious eyebrow and gives me a look, nkowing that if something like that was really going on, he'd be the first to know about it. Mainly because of the fact that he's been sneaking in and out of my house. "Oh?"

I sigh and just go along with the story. "It happened a week ago." I pray that he plays along.

"And for some reason she's kept it to herself." Kara shakes her head.

"Well I didn't know that I was required to give you all information about my moms personal life," I respond.

"Oh come on now, I think that's something you'd want to tell your best friend considering the fact that your mom hasn't dated in years. How does that even make you feel?"

I shrug. "It's not that important."

"The hell it itsn't," she disagrees. "We need to do a full on background check to make sure this guy isn't crazy."

I take a small bite out of my apple, trying to act as nonchalant about it as possible. If Kara is freaking out about something as little as this, I can't even imagine how'd she react about me and Graves.

Graves keeps his eyes on me, cocking his head to this side in trying to understand the situation. I probably should have let him know about this while we had class together. I look away from him and I suddenly feel a long trail of liquid slide down the center of my back, my shirt now wet and sticking to my skin. Chils run through because it's not a warm feeling and I'm in complete shock. I hear cheering sounding from the side of the cafeteria and I can only guess it as my annoying brother.

"Whoops. Sorry. I thought a little decorating would bring out your outfit," Someone forces through chuckles of laughter.

I slowly turn around the most evil glare I could possibly convey and see Brandon standing there with an empty orange juice carton in his hand. "What. The. Hell." I say through tightly clenched teeth.

He throws his head back and bursts out laughing. I hear a few more people joining him.

"What the hell is your problem Brandy!" Kara shouts. "You are seriously asking for a death wish."

Brandy is the name we call him because calling him out of his name is the best way to piss him off. "Klayton was so right about this being one of the funniest reactions ever. This was definitely worth the dare."

I'm about five seconds from attacking him like a wild animal in the jungle.

Graves is up on his feet looking like he's about reaady to do the same, his hands balled into clenched fists and face red as a tomato. "Back off Brandy. Go back and join your clan of barbies."

Brandon clicks his teeth. "Now, when you say things like that I'm going to have to stay here and force you to make me."

Unwanted attention is all over our table and I jusst want to crawl into a deep hole and hide forever. I'm soaking wet and feel like a raging bull. Today is seriously not my day. Graves has now moved inches away from Brandon's face and it's uncomfortable even for me, but he doesn't back down. "Back off or you' regret it."

Brandon is amused. "Wow. So ready to defend your side chick. I never new they were that important."

My stomach falls right out of my ass.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," Graves denies.

Brandon takes a step back and gives a devilish smirk. "Oh come on we're not that stupid. I can't really say the same thing about Kara though. She's had a front row seat for who knows how long and she still hasn't figured it out."

"Hold on a fllipping two cents," Kara jumps in. "What