Harder to Hold by D'razhane Woods (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📕

There's a short silence. "A...Are you drunk?"

I gigiel and roll onto my back, one hand holding the phone and the other playing with the string of my sweat pants. "Awe, come on. Y-You know that I don't-" Another hiccup. "Drink. How could you think that?" The alcohol is stil burning it's way through my system.

"I can't believe this right now," he says, aggravated. "Where is your mom Malorie?"

"She went out Graves. C-Come over, I wanna havesome fun with you."

I hear some shuffling going on in the background and I listen closely to figure out what's going on. "Graves?"

"I'm coming over."

Excitement fills me. "Yes! You can come join us."

The shuffling stops. "Us? Who is us?"

I slwoly count on my fingers. "Me, Klay-Klayton, Brandon, Bethnay...and Juliana."

"What the hell are they doing at your house?"

"Two words. Par-tay," I respond cheerfully.

He sighs.

"Bring more alcohol with you or you can't...come in." I hang up and drop my phone onto the floor.

It's about time. I've been needing Graves so much and having him coming over here is surely going to make me feel better, but the voice in the back of my head is screaming Kara's name at me and to get the hell over myself. I just can't help it. I love Graves and nothing is going to change that, no matter how much of the distance I try to put between us. I'm driving myself mad contemplating the right thing to do, eaving me lost and stuck in one place. I'm roaming around in a dar place I can't figure out. 

I wait anxiously for Graves to come, and then decide that I should look good for him before he gets here. I hop off my bed and go rummaging through my closet for something sexy to wear. I spot the perfect dress and put it on. It's black and tight, clinging onto my curves snuggly and reaches down the the middle of my thighs. It also pushes my breasts closer together to reveal more cleavage than what I would have never felt comfortable with before getting drunk off my tail. I don't bother puttig on shoes because I figure I don't need them if I'm going to be staying at the house...Unless Graves decides to take me out. I head to the bathroom and apply on some make up and come through my hair, leaving it down in long waves. Then I go down stairs to join the others.

They're all in the living room now all cuddled up on the couch watching some kind of scary movie. They turn to me as Icome down and their eyes nearly bug out of their head.

"Holy shit," Brandon says, astonished.

This is the exact reaction I wanted. I hop Graves does the same. I smile and do a slow turn, nearling falling on my face in the process. "How do I look?" I ask. I feel so gooey inside; my limbs are ike jello and it's getting harder and harder for me to keep myself up.

"Sexy," Brandon answers and licks his fine lips.

I put my hand on hip and smirk in satisfaction.

"You look like a slut someone picked up off the corner of Colfax," Klayton says angrily.

"Where's you get that dress?" Juliana asks, admiring me from head to toe.

I shurg because honestly, I can't remember.

Brandon releases his hold on Juliana and stands to his feet with his attention on her. "You've go to go."

For some wild unknown reason, Juliana doesn't seem at all bothered ny his rudeness. She simply gets up, gives him a little kiss on the cheek and walks out of the door. I'm absolutely too drunk to linger on the moment and realization of how disrespectful Brandon is, and my mind is unable to accept it, so as he waks towards me, I let him wrap his arm around my waist and start to bring towards the stairs.

"Don't be stupid Brandon," Klayton interrupts, his voice hanging on the tense side, and there's no mistaking how uncomfortable he is right now.

Brandon only smiles. "As long as she isn't saying no, right?"

Klayton's eyes narrow into thin slits. "Bro, she's my little sister and she's obviously drunk off her ass. Please don't make me be the one to kick yours, because I will if I have to."

Brandon peels his arm off of me and takes a step back, holding his hands up as in in surrender. "Alright boss, whatever you-"

Brandon is cut short after a knock on the door. I go to answer it, using the wall as support and Graves stands there, worry lines creasing his forehead. He also has on pajama clothes, black and white basketball shorts and a red t-shirt. Something so casual, yet because he is the one under those clothes, I don't think anyone else could have worn it better. He can make anything look good.

Graves' black hair is tousled in a tangled mess and his orange eyes seem to be recovering from sleep. Is it really that late? Or could he just be that tired? before he can get the chance to say anything, I throw myself at him and he's focred to hold me against him because I can barely carry myself.

"Whoa," he says. "How much alcohol did you drink?"

I think about it longer than intended. How much did I drink anyway? "I don't remember," I finaly say in a slur.

He shakes his head and hi hold on me tightens as he walks into the house. He glares at Klayton. "What a wonderful job you're doing taking care of your sister," he says sarcastically.

Kalyton only flips him off and brings Bethany closer to his side. We take our time heading up to my room, mostly because at this point my body is nothing but cooked noodles. The door closes behind us and now we stand in the center of my room by the front of my bed, a step away from each others faces, and I ook up at him, ogling. I'm never going to get tired of looking at him. Not only is he extremely attractive, but his heart is big and pure; a sure plus.

He sighs. "You're so drunk I can't even be mad at you right now."

I smile. "Good. Be mad at me to-tomorrow."

"Oh believe me, I will. You need to get some water in you."

"No..." I shake my head vigorously. "I don't. I'm competly fine."

He gives me an are-you-kidding-me look. "Seriously? You can't even say competely right. You need to drink some water and lie down."

"I don't wa-" I'm unable to finish my sentence because now, something is bubbling up in my stomach, slowly meeting it's way up to the surface. I try holding it back, but it's too late and soon, I'm throwing up all of the contents I had of food today onto Graves' shirt.

He yelps and jumps back as I bend over with my hands on my knees, puking my guts on my floor. My eyes begin to water and my stomach convulses painfully. This is the last thing that I wanted to happen and I can't even feel embarrassed by it. Graves cautiously moves towards me to help, but I hold my hand up to stop him. Literally, it's bad enough and I don't need him making it worse, but of course he doesn't cath the hint and moves to my side to hold my hair back.

When I finally finsih, sweat has covered my whole body and I'm clammy to the touch. I'm slightly trembling from the work it took to empty my stomach and I collapse onto my bed, catching my breath. I watch Graves take his shirt off and I stare at the daily workouts that has made it all worth while. His abs have fully defined his body and I swear I'd be drooling if he wasn't here in front of me. I'm never going to get tired of that either. I rub the spae beside me. "Come in bed with me."

He raises an eyebrow. "I really think I should be getting this throw up cleaned up."

I pout. What is it with everyone trying to kill my vibe? I just want to have fun here, is that so wrong? I don't remember the party ending, in fact, i=it was just getting started. I want to lay here with thiswonderful pack of six with no problem. "L-Lets do it...tama-tamarrow I don't wanna...I don't..." A sudden wave of tiredness overtakes me and every movement I make brings an excessive amount of energy I'm unable to keep.

Now sitting up is putting forth too much effort and I lie back, curling into a fetal position and before I conjure up another thought, I'm out like a light, exploring the darkness.

My eyes flutter open into the next day and a big wave of pain collides with my head. I groan and put my hand to my sweaty forehead. I'm buring up and I have a headache like nobody's business. What the hell did I do last night? I slowly sit up and check my surroundings. When I spot Graves lying by my side-the main cause of my near heat stroke- not wearing a t-shirt, the shock of it doesn't hit me as soon as it should have. I gap.

Graves stretches himself out, his long body fully covering my bed from the top to the bottom, and his orange eyes meet mine. His eyebrows furrow together at the look on my face and he asks, "What's wrong?'

I finally bring my mouth to a close and swallow hard. "What happened last night?" I can't even place what I can remember.

He yawns, keeping his head relaxed on my pillow. "A lot I'm guessing, most I wasn't here for."

I prepare myself to ask the ultimate question. "D-Did we...?"

"No," he responds. "No we didn't."

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. As long as Graves and I have been sneaking around, we haven't actually had sex. I know, it's hard to believe, but we thought crossing that line while Kara is still in the picture would destroy any hope of repair, but I've lost all that when the truth broke out in an understandibly unforgiveable way yesterday in the cafeteria. "Okay," I say. "Just explain to me why your shirt is off and mayybe I'll feel a alittle better."

He sits up and frowns at me. "I'm sure you know that you were drunk off your ass last night. Do you really think I would take advantage of you like that?"

I bow my head down. "No." I don't even think Graves is capable of doing that to anyone. Not that he cant, but because he's just too good of a person.

"You threw up on me," he asnwers.

I gasp and bury my face into my hands, completely embarrassed. "Oh my god..."

"I cleaned it all up after you passed out.

I need a really deep dark hole to hide myself in and never come out. "I'm so sorry. You didn't have to do that for me."

"Nobody else was going to do it."

I focus on trying to remember the last thing that I did last