Harder to Hold by D'razhane Woods (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📕

A natural disaster about to tear the whole school apart, including me would be nice right about now.

This time Brandon doubles over and holds his stomach to laugh even harder. "My god, this is too funny." He takes a few breathers before continuing on through laughter. "Your so called best friend and so called boyfriend have been sneaking around your back for who knows how long, and unfortunately, I had to be the one to tell you."

Kara makes no movement. Staring at Brandon as if she really didn't undersstand him. "Stop lying."

"Ask them for yourself," he says.

Kara looks to me first, eyes wide like she can't believe it. "Please tell me he's joking."

I can't find it in myself to answer. All words fail me and all I can do is stare back at her. This is not how it was supposed to happen. This is all wrong.

"He's not," Graves answers for me. "I'm sorry Kara, but...I'm in love with her."

Kara stumbles back on her feet as if someone put a kick to her chest and I wince as the truth spills out of his mouth. I want to scream at him for admitting that in front of all these people. Does he really not care for her at all? This is absolutely embarrassing and harsh, the whole scenario. Kara storms up to Graves and slaps him so hard across the face it echos around the room, bringing me to the realization that the cafeteria is silent and listening. Then she comes over to me with fast tears rolling down her read cheeks.

"We've been best friends for six years...six years Malorie, and you really did this to me? All...I've ever done was look after you and this is how you repay me?" She sobs out a hard cry and I shrink into myself, feeling her pain. "By stealing the love of my life."

My lips tremble and hot tears mimmick hers. "I-I'm so sorry Kara. I didn't mean for any of thi-"

"Save it," she interrupts me. "I don't want your apology. I don't wany anything from you anymore." She slowly backs away from me and leaves the cafeteria.

I quickly rise to me feet, wanting to chase after her, but I know that she's not going to want to listen to anything that I have to say. I guess I could at least give her time to cam down, right? I hear clapping from the side of the room and I take notice that it's Klayton. I want to kick his ass so bad right now.

"That was awesome Brandon," he laughs. "What a way to make lunch so entertaining."

"I hate you," I mumble with so much anger I can feel my muscles tensing. I leave the cafeteria and enter into the girls bathroom. Thankful that no one is in sight, I collapse into one of the stalls onto the toilet and sob into my hands. I can still fee the juice that Brandon poured all over me and it's starting to stick to my skin. This is all around the worst day of my life.

What kind of brother does this to their own sister? I don't understand what has driven him to want to ruin my life, I have never done anything so terrible to him. Kara is seriously going to hate me forever and I don't know what Graves is going to do. Everything is screwed up and I'm so ashamed of myself. I went out with my best friends boyfriend for three months and never bothered to stop it at first hand. How could I really think I was going to get away with it? I knew the whole time that Kara loves him and yet, that didn't stop gfraves and I to continue to sneak around. I've waited too long...

However long I cry I don't know, and I don't care. I'd rather be stuck in the bathroom than to face everyone's judgemental eyes out there. They al know what I'vwe done thanks to Brandon and Klayton, and now I've just given them a bigger reason to stay away from me. I finally rise to my feet and face myself in the mirror. My make up has run down my face, causing to make me look like a sad clown, and my hair is sticky and matted to my scalp. It's going to be a pain to wash all this juice out. I wash off my hair and face to come to some kind of decency and leave the bathroom. Graves is outside waiting for me leaning up against the wall with his hands shoved in his front pockets. I turn in the opposite direction, really not in the mood to speak to him, but he grips my arm.

"Please wait," he says.

I reluctantly turn to him. "Right now is seriously not the time Graves so please, don't."

He frowns deeply. "Look, I'm sorry all this had to happen this way. This is my fault. You tried to stay away from me, but I was stubburn. I didn't want to stawy away from you and I still don't. I wanted to apologize and let you know that this doesn't change the way I feel about you. I'm still going to be here for you."

More tears form in my eyes as if I haven't cried enough and I feel so weak and vulnerable that I could literally fall into pieces. The tips of his fingers touch my chin, but I pull away from him. "I'm the wrong person you should be here for Graves." I walk away from him and head to class. It's a stupid idea, but I deserve it.

 For the whole rest of the day, I'm getting called numerous names from left to right. There are even some people brave enough to through pencils and little erasers at me when no one is looking. What's even worse is that Graves walks by me without a single glance, but it's for our own good. It's what I've been wanting -for Kara's benefit- but it hurts so bad knowing that this is the end. I realy wish we could be together, but I need to focus on what's the right thing to do. I want to be there for Kara and she doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't blame her for that.

Luckily enough despite my unlucky day, school is over and I can go to the comforts of my home. I wait by the car for Klayton since he has the car keys and start to get highly impatient. I've been waiting for almost fifteen minutes and he sttill hasn't come out yet. I need to go home and shower and sleep and forget about everything that has happened. I was able to change into a plain grey t-shirt from the nurses care, but I'm still sticky and dirty. Soon enough though he comes out with Brandon trailing by his side, and they walk together to the car.

I glare at them both as they approach. "What took you so long?"

Klayton smiles and I immediately know that he's up to something. "I was just running some errands. Nothing to worry about sis."

I stare at him skeptically.

Klayton goes around to the driver side and unlocks the doors. Brandon opens the passenger door and I look at him as if he's gone crazy. "What the hell are you doing?"

He smiles that charming smile I used to be head over heels for and says, "Well since football practice was cancelled, it's time to celebrate. I'm staying the night." He runs an arrogant hand through his black curls of hair.

"My ass!" I exclaim. "You can't stay the night, it's a school night!"

"Actually sweetheart, today is Friday."

Already? I could have sworn that today was Wednesday. "Don't call me sweetheart. What kind of eighteen year old guys have a sleep over? You want me to paint your nails too? And what did mom say about this?"

"Mom is going away for the night," Klayton says as he starts the car.

I get into the back, not planning on walking again. "We're not supposed to have company that mom doesn't know about."

"What mom doesn't know won't hurt her."

I shake my head. "You're such an idiot."

Admittedly but not with pride, I used to have a huge crush on Brandon. He is my brothers best friend which means he was always around and his attractiveness could catch any girls attention. Anyone could fall for his big brown eyes and rosy cheeks. He has that crooked irresistable smile, and he's so tall it's hard to ignore. Unfortunately, his personality is a complete bust and I've begun to think that him and Klayton are perfect for each other. The feeling I used to have for him are now like they never existed.

We head off on to our house and I'm the first one to the door. I have a house key so I let myself in and head to the kitchen, my stomach growling. I never did get a chance to finish what I had for lunch and I'm starving. I notice a note left on the dining table with twenty dollar bill and I pick it up to see what it says:

                                                I went out with some friends and I

                                                won't be back 'till the morning, so

                                                don't wait up. No company and

                                                don't eat up all the food (Klayton)

                                                I left twenty dollars on the table so you

                                                can order pizza.

                                                                     Love, mommy.

I shove the twenty dollars into my pocket and throw the note in the trash before Klayton can get to it. He'd spend the money on something stupid and I'm not going to take that chance. I go upstairs to my room, shutting the rood behind me and plop down into my bed. I grab the remote resting on my dresser and turn the tv on, flipping through channels on my small flat screen tv. I stop on a crime and suspense movie I've never seen before and watch as the person is stabbed repeatedly for a reason that I've missed, vutting out the most graphic scenes. Then I'm interuppted with knocking on my door.

Klayton walks in and takes a seat beside me. "How are you doing lil sis?"

What a funny question to ask the person he's so intended on ruining the life of. "Isn't it obvious? I'm not all rainbows and sunshine like mom so don't expect that from me. I told you not to tell anyone."

"Technically you told me not to tell Kara," he rebuttles. "You didn't tell me I couldn't tell anyone else."

I shake my head in disbelief cause he knows damn well what I meant. "You have no idea how many times you make me question my sanity sometimes."

He smiles. "I stil love you though."

"Well you have a real sick way of showing it."

"That's what brothers do. Besides, this is the best way to fit in."

"By allowing your sister to be a outsider? Way to go brother. Now get out of my room, I'm tired of looking at you."

He shrugs a careless shoulder. "I tried." He leaves me room, leaving the door wide open knowing that I hate that and I get up and slam it closed.

I sit back down on my bed continuing on with the movie and keep my mind distracted. By the time it's over, the sun has set and I hear a few people making their way in through the front door downstairs. This is going to be a long night, I can already tell.