me. "Just thinking too, kinda stuck in my thoughts though" She mumbled. "Me too babes... me too" I mumbled and kissed her hair before retreating back to hugging my knees as she did. The bell rang and I tensed. All my scared, freaked out emotions went into over drive and I felt byself becoming like stone. I snapped out of it and of course, looked around for madousa's snake's and shit. "You guys coming?" Tyler asked. "Nah, well see you later bro" Danny said and ran up and hugged him. He nodded at her before she walked back to be and was about to sit in my lap when she froze for a second and sat beside me. I sighed. I was doing this... "This morning, you tensed when Tyler brought up sex, why?" She asked clutching her palms around the bottom of the bench, and raising one eyebrow. I swear, I froze all over again. Was I even a guy? I was begining not to think so. I took a deep long breath that turned out sounding like a groan of hatred. Fml. "Because im scared, and un-experienced, and freaking out 100% about going that far with you and I really really really dont wanna screw it up!" I said fast and held my breath. There was a pause. Then, she burst up laughing, holding her stomach and and doubling over. I got up, and walked away. I didnt expect that, laughing? Are you fucking kidding me? I sighed annoyed with myself. I shouldnt have said anything to her she prob- I got yanked back to what was happening by a grip that made me wipe out. I looked up and danyelle who looked sad. "Sorry babe..." She frowned and I dusted myself off when I stood up. "Its fine" I said and when she dropped my arm, I was about to walk away when she stood infront of me and stopped me. "I didnt mean to laugh, its just that im not experienced, or strong about this either. Im nervous, and scared, and dont know what the fuck im doing" She told me. "Im sorry I got tense this morning, I just couldnt look at you to see if you had disgust, or disapointment in your eyes" I said looking at the ground. "More like rage and flames if you ask me..." She mumbled and I laughed hugging her body to mine. I grabbed her hand and sat her down on the bench in my lap, straddling my waist so she was facing me. "I want to" She said. "I do too" I Smirked. I took a deep breath, and looked at her. Trying to stay calm, I spoke. "I dont know what im doing, just like you,I dont know how to move fast, or was positions to do, or how im not gonna hurt you. Were gonna screw up..." I said and she looked away. I pulled her chin lightly and made her face me. I put on a goofy, heart warming smile (I hoped) and said "But I want to screw up... with you." She smiled at me, pushing me back on the bench and kissing my lips soft , but hard, leaving me completly breathless. I ran my fingers in circles on her hips and smiled against her kiss. "This weekend... I wanna try" I told her and kissed her again. "So, this weekend?" She asked comfirming. I nodded and pulled her deeper into my lap. All my sense of fear, and nerves, were gone. I just felt with my body, my mind racing the entire time. Our lips moved together, smiling against one anothers more times then I could count. We layed behind the tree, and before I knew it, she was asleep in my arms, laying on my chest snoring like a little kitten. I kissed her hair and ran my fingers through it a few times before kissing it again and staying still, listening to her breathe. Yeah, were make-out, and cuddle, and make-out a lot, but we dont try anything sexual, thats why I was so nervous. Just shut the fuck up, there's no reason to be anymore... I smirked. So we both have no clue what to do, maybe I should research or something. Queer move dude... I rolled my eyes at my conscience. Stupid little voice, I wanna do things right, so im gonna search up one question thats bugging me. I took out my blackberry from my back poket and put the headphones that were hanging around my neck in my ears. I scrolled down my list of songs and pressed the enter button when I hit the song "Scream for my Icecream" - Blood on the dance floor. I looked over at Danny, careful not to wake her up, I turned the song on low and closed my eyes listening. I took a breath and typed in "How to eat a girl out", in google, then pressed search. Of course, the image's that popped up instantly got me hard, so I had to scroll quick through a list of some ideas before I got to out of my control. I scrolled some more, then closed it and just layed back and listened to my music. Ask her what she likes... be gentle yet rough, use every part of your mouth, make her scream in pleasure... I shivered at that last one. The thought of her moaning gave me chills that made me smile like an idiot. She curled into my chest more, leaning her head on me. I relaxed and took every thought of sexual stuff out of my head, and just focused on being in love with this woman. I took a deep breath. Her hair smelt like strawberry's. I smirked. Strawberries are my favourite scent, she wore it diliberatly, she knew it drove me crazy. I breathed in her scent again. Ohhh my god. I bite my lip and smirked, I just wanted her body right then. She means a lot to me. "I love you" I thought out loud. "I love you too" I heard her mumble into my chest. I started laughing. "You werent even sleeping" I asked rubbing her arm. "Nope, just listening to you sniff me" She smiled and laughed. "You smell, amaazing" I whispered into her ear and watched her shiver. "Ready for New Year's Eve?" She asked. "Im ready to kiss your beautiful lips when the clock strikes 12, yes" I said once again to her, making her shiver. "Good" She said breathless. I laughed and I smiled to myself, kissed her forhead, and closed my eyes, falling asleep beside her as my song ended.
Kimberly...
When the bell rang, I walked off back to the school with Mickey by my side. I couldnt just be mad at him anymore, and I mean, he was the one avoiding me this morning, not the other way around, At least I looked at him, he didnt even smile at me when I came down the stairs, like really? Whatever. I sighed and just kept walking. I couldnt help that I liked him, or that everytime he brushed my hand with his when we walked, I melted and wanted just to grab his hand and cuddle into his side. I sighed again. I took out my phone and opened Clayton's contact name. I sent him a text.
Me: Hey C, whats up?
Him: Nm, er.. cant talk really.
Me: Oh, is everything ohkay?, Im excited for tonight.. sort of xD
Him: Yeah, with Sky, but I uhm, about tonight, I have to cancel , im sorry. I just dont think its right because of Skyler, im sorry, again. I wanted to, I did, but its just not right. Plus, really, your to young, its your first kiss it should be special, not with me. Im sorry.
Me: K.
Him: ??
I didnt get back to him. I was hurt. Really hurt. I realized, that I liked Clayton a little bit. If I didnt, I wouldnt be getting this hurt by him cancelling our session of him teaching me to kiss. The session I was actually looking forward to. I chewed my lip. He called me young?, Iβm not 12 Iβm 15. I flinched when I knew I split my lip. I licked over it and just sighed. Screw him. I wasnt going to show that I was upset, that I was seriously considering ditching school to go have time with my blade. No. But.. How was I going to kiss Mick? I dont know how... im so pathetic! Im like what? 15 and can't even kiss a guy? Wait, no, you know what, when He kisses me, i'll kiss him back. I'll just go with the flow, make it seem like I know what im doing, it cant be that bad. Right? I just sighed again, walking down the hall with Mickey. Naturally, we were late, considering we dont eat lunch close by, and we leave after the bell rings?, it didnt surprise me. The halls were getting empty, maybe 7 people were in the hall me and Mickey were in? I looked over at him, he was so cute. The red in his hair just made his whole body flame with hotness. I suppressed the urge to bite my lip, he knows I do that when im upset, or thinking about a guy. Why does he have to know me so well? I smiled though. I loved that he knew me, just as much as I hated it. He caught me smiling and laughed. "Your cute when you smile" he said. I Laughed, "Thankyou?". "Your welcome bebe!, So, everyone is going out to a New Year's Eve party tonight, you wanna come?" He asked putting his arm around me. I didnt feel like I was in a party mood, not even for New Year's Eve. I sighed. "Nah, its alright, im gonna stay home" I Smiled at him. Things were looking up. He called me cute, his arm was around me, I couldnt stop smiling. "Alright, i'll see if I cant find someone to stay home with you". Until he said that. I slipped from under his arm, and rounded on him. "I dont need a baby sitter! What, cause im the youngest you automatically think I need someone to stay home with me? Cause I cant stay in a house by myself?! Its New's Year's Eve, sorry if I dont wanna get drunk! God, is βkidβ the only thing you think of me?β I clenched my fists. All I was to him was a kid. Thats all I was ever gonna be to him, never his girlfriend, never a girl he liked, never anything but a kid, who's a friend. "You dont get it do you!" He shouted in my face. "Get what!" I shouted right back. "That I like you!, More than a friend! God damn it Kimster! Your not a little kid to me. Im just worried about you so much im scared to leave your side!" "No you dont" I said flatly. Not caring that he was making it my fault that he didnt wanna leave me alone. Not caring that he- Then his lips attacked mine. I was pushed up to a locker, with his hands on my waist and mine around his neck. I was still too shocked to realize, I was kissing back!. He pressed his body against mine, licking my lip before I opened them and he gently licked all around my lips. Then, he lightened his grip, his pressure against my body, he was so gentle, I felt faint and I knew I was blushing. Still kissing my lips, he pecked them before whispering "Still wanna tell me I dont?" before pressing my lips, deep and hard with his, and pulled away smiling at me, holding my waist. I smiled back. "You can stay home
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