Everyday Thoughts. by Gabby Follin (ebook offline reader txt) 📕

Many long months go by as I sit here staring at the many keys before me. 

Unsure on what part of me I should spill out into the world, so many ideas go through my mind. 

Does it even matter? 

I've convinced myself it doesn't, I'm only doing this for me. 

You're gone now, and soon everyone else will be too. 

I'll be all alone again with only these words and a cigarette to get me by. 

Too late now, can't go back. 

What's done is done. 

Can I live with that?

It never had occurred to me that I never actually said goodbye to you - I just left and didn’t even look back. 

The funny thing is, you didn’t stop me. 

You let me turn and walk away from you, not a spec of care was shown.

Do you know how much that hurt? 

But it was done, what’s done is done. 

It’s not that I regret it, I just thought I should say somewhat of a proper goodbye to you. 

To the someone that used to be it.

When we first met, never in my head did I think it would be you. 

It was simple and light, so very delightful to speak to you on occasion. 

Mostly because all we would do is joke. 

But we started to talk more often, soon enough everyday.

Then it got to where my day would be different if I hadn’t said hello to you. 

Feelings arose, we decided we would take it slow. 

And we went slow, oh so very slow. 

It was about a year and 5 months since we started dating that I thought I was in love with you. 

And I told you that. 

But you did not feel the same. 

Ever since then, all we have been is a weird mix of a multiple messes. 

We tried dating off and on, it was mostly you who kept swinging the idea around. 

Then it was just sex. 

Not that I minded a whole lot… 

But it felt so lonely. 

I didn’t feel close to you as I had once, we didn’t feel good together anymore. 

The sad part is, I tried to tell you this and all you did was throw it back in my face. 

“Don’t like it, leave.” 

I wanted to, so bad, that I ended up doing it. 

And the funnier part is… you came crawling right back to me. 

For the first time since I had met you, you apologized to me, for everything. 

And I thought you meant it. 

You said you needed me, that you couldn’t stand not having me around.

That lit up my heart in ways you could never understand. 

But here we are, tears in my eyes remembering all of these little things about you.

All because you can’t be honest and straight with me. 

It’s alright though, I am glad I met you. 

I will not forget you either, your memory will remain in my heart. 

I’m not sure if this is for closure, but since I left I’ve felt different. 

More sad than I usually am. 

I think it’s just me missing you, but I have to ignore it. 

You’re not made for me, and you made that so very clear. 

Just remember, goodbye means for good. 

You won’t ever see me again. 

So.. this is my adieu.

Publication Date: 06-13-2017

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I just thought it'd be a fun and interesting idea for a book. Probably shouldn't use the word "fun".