Deep Legend by DeYtH Banger (funny books to read .TXT) 📕

get? You're
fucking dead.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
We are not dead. We’re-RIGGAN
Stop saying 'we'! There is no 'we'. I am
not you. I'm Riggan fucking Thomson.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
No. You're Birdman. Because without me, all
that's left is "you". A sad, selfish,
mediocre actor, grasping-Riggan points his finger and sends the poster flying, spearing
it on a coat rack, piercing Birdman right through the heart.
Finally, silence. Until...
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
What the hell did you do that for? I liked
that poster.
A confused Riggan looks over to the wall, where the lamp on the
floor is creating a shadow of his figure. Only in the shadow, it
appears as if Riggan is wearing the Birdman costume. Stunned,
Riggan slowly lifts one arm and in the shadow we see a wing.
BIRDMAN (V.O.)
It's always 'we' brother.
The television turns on by itself, playing an episode of the
original Birdman cartoon. Riggan points his fingers at the tv
and sends it hurling at the shadow. Then he proceeds to
destroy everything in his room with his telekinetic powers.
We slowly pan to see that, behind Riggan, Jake stands on the
other side of the half-opened door. We push in on Jake,
watching in shock. The camera turns and becomes Jake's POV...
35

INT. HALLWAY - THEATER - CONTINUOUS

35

...and now, from his view, we see Riggan yelling at the shadow.
RIGGAN
Fuck you! Fuck you!
He picks up a chair and throws it down. He then picks up the
newspaper from the floor and tossing it all around. And now we
understand that he is not using telepathy. He has been using
only his hands. Completely mad. As Riggan turns to pick up
something else, he spots Jake on the other side of the door. He
immediately calms himself and walks over.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14
What's up?

/

73.

RIGGAN (CONT'D)

JAKE
Um... Well. Two hours to curtain. Why don’t
you rest a little bit?
RIGGAN
Yeah. Sure.
JAKE
Last preview, buddy. We’re almost there.
Okay.

RIGGAN

JAKE
How ya doin?
RIGGAN
Good. Great.
JAKE
Good. That's good.
(A beat.)
The, uh, money came through. I just have to
transfer it to the account.
RIGGAN
Oh, that's terrific...
JAKE
Okay. Well, I'm gonna do that.
(He stares at Riggan who
seems about to collapse.)
You know I’m proud of you, right? This took
balls. And you did it.
Riggan nods. An exhausted sadness in his eyes.
RIGGAN
I can’t do this anymore, Jake.
What?

JAKE

RIGGAN
I think I’m gonna cancel the
preview. I’m exhausted.
JAKE
It’s a joke, right? (He forces a
laugh.) Good one, Riggan.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

74.

RIGGAN
I’m starting to believe that this is not
for me. The applause is... lukewarm. I
think they’re laughing at me.
JAKE
What are you--? Listen. There’s a three
block line of people waiting to see you.
We are sold out. It’s a full house.
Really?

RIGGAN

JAKE
Yes. And the French embassador is
coming. And the prince of Saudi Arabia,
with one of his wives. And... I wasn’t
going to tell you this, but-- Martin
Scorsese. He’s casting for his new
film. But don’t tell anyone, okay? This
is between you and me.
RIGGAN
Okay. I’ll be ready.
Riggan smiles. He has forgotten about his existential doubts.
A worried Jake closes the door. He walks a few steps and
finds Laura and Lesley. They’ve been listening to his
conversation with Riggan.
How is he?

LESLEY

JAKE
He’ll be okay.
LESLEY
Poor creature.
LAURA
Is it true? Scorsese?
JAKE
Yes. And the new Pope too.
(Beat.)
They both understand.
LAURA
You’re an asshole, Jake.
JAKE
I’m the one keeping this boat afloat.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

75.

LESLEY
So there is no line of people out there?
JAKE
I don’t know. Now go and get ready.
That’s your job.
(He begins to walk.)
I’ll better invest in a taco truck, or
a strip joint near the airport.
Laura leaves. We follow Lesley up to Riggan’s dressing room.
She knocks on the door. Nothing. Silence. She half-opens the
door and, from behind her, we see Riggan examining his right
hand. He has blood falling from the palm to the wrist.
LESLEY
Are you okay?
RIGGAN
(Smiles.)
Yeah, I-- This is nothing. Shaving.
He cleans his hand against his trousers.
LESLEY
I just want to say I'm sorry.
For what?

RIGGAN

LESLEY
I knew what Mike was capable of,
and I brought him in, anyway.
RIGGAN
You did good.
Lesley nods. A beat.
LESLEY
Tomorrow's my first opening night
on Broadway.
Mine too.

RIGGAN

LESLEY
And I want you to know that,
whatever happens, I'll always be
grateful to you for that.
RIGGAN
Me too. It’s going to be great. Full
house.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

76.

She looks at him with tender eyes. Then we follow her along
the corridor until she passes by Mike’s dressing room. Mike
half-opens the door and sees Lesley walking by. He has a
black eye. He waits for Lesley to be completely gone, and
then he comes out of his dressing room and we follow him up
the stairs to...
38

38

EXT. ROOFTOP - THEATER - DUSK

...the rooftop. He finds Sam standing on the cornice, looking
at the street.
MIKE
For fuck's sake, just jump already.
Sam stares out, a smile creeping over her face.
SAM
How did you know I'd be up here?
MIKE
I didn't. I was just hoping.
Silence. Mike walks up next to her and stares out as well.
SAM
Where's Lesley?
Moving on.

MIKE

SAM
Smart girl...
MIKE
I appreciate that.
A beat.
SAM
Ready for the last preview?
(Noticing his black eye.)
Who did that to you?
Mike smiles. No answer.
SAM (CONT’D)
Could have been anybody, I guess.
(After a beat.)
I’m sort of hoping it was Lesley.
He barely says no, smiling, and lights a cigarette. She
understands.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

77.

SAM (CONT’D)
Oh, don’t tell me...
Silence.
MIKE
What's the worst thing he ever did to
you?
Sam is surprised by the question. She thinks for a moment.
SAM
He was never around, so...
MIKE
That was--?
SAM
No. That was-- Who gives a shit. It
was the way he tried to make up for
it by constantly trying to convince
me I was special. (A beat.) What
about you?
My dad?
Yeah.

MIKE
SAM

MIKE
He pretended I was his son.
She stares him down. Silence.
SAM
So, what happens now?
MIKE
I have no idea...
Yeah...

SAM

A beat.
MIKE
He was right, though.
SAM
About what?
MIKE
About your being special. You’re hanging
around here trying to make yourself
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

10/29/14
MIKE (CONT'D)
invisible behind that fragile little fuck
up routine. But you can’t. You’re
anything but invisible. You’re big. And
you’re sort of this really great mess, a
candle burning at both ends, and no
amount of booze or pills is gonna hide
that.

/

78.

Sam tosses Mike’s cigarette over the balcony, and kisses him.
He leans into the kiss.
MAN'S VOICE
(From below.)
Jesus Fuck!
She suddenly pulls away.
SAM
It's a good thing you're an actor and not a
writer cause that little speech was just
like, Oprah... Hallmark... R. Kelly bad.
She kisses him lightly one more time and then walks away. When
she gets to the door she stops and leans on the frame.
SAM (CONT’D)
Truth or dare?
Truth.
No.
Truth.

MIKE
SAM
MIKE

SAM
No. Truth or dare?
The slightest smile as she exits through the door, and after a
short pause, Mike follows...
39

INT. HALLWAYS - THEATRE - CONTINUOUS

39

...along a darkened hallway. They reach a tiny wooden door and
Sam leads the way through it.
MIKE
Do you have any idea where you're going?
SAM
Absolutely not.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

79.

She continues on until she gets to...
40

INT. ABOVE STAGE - THEATER - CONTINUOUS

40

...the "grid" above stage where the lights are located. We can
see, below us, the empty seats of the auditorium and the
kitchen set.
MIKE
What now...?
Mike reaches up to kiss her. She stops him.
SAM
How do you do it?
What?

MIKE

SAM
How do you go out there and pretend to be
someone else in front of all those people?
MIKE
I don't pretend. Not out there. Just about
every place else, but never out there.
SAM
Good to know.
They stare at one another...
MIKE
What are we doing here?
SAM
What do you mean?
MIKE
I mean, what are we doing here?
She moves in.
SAM
Adrenaline...
They kiss. The camera begins to drift down toward the stage...
RIGGAN (O.S.)
Fucking teenager.
As the camera continues down from the grid, we discover an
auditorium full of people staring at the actors on stage.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

80.

RIGGAN (O.S) (CONT’D)
By the time I got to the hospital, the
kid was dead. He was off in a corner
laid out on a gurney. We took the old
couple up to the O.R.. They were a
mess. We worked like hell on them for
most of the night...
We pan along the auditorium back to the stage to find Riggan,
Mike, Lesley and Laura in the kitchen.
RIGGAN (CONT'D)
When we were done, we wrapped them in
full body casts. The husband was
depressed. Even when I told him his
wife was gonna pull through, he was
still depressed. So, I got up to his
mouth hole and asked him, and he told
me it was because he couldn't see her
through the eye holes. Can you imagine?
I’m telling you, the man's heart was
breaking because he couldn't turn his
goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.
LESLEY
(In genuine tears.)
That's terrible. (Beat.) Perfect.
And terrible.
She is crushed. Laura holds Lesley, trying to control her own
emotion.
RIGGAN
(Taking this in.)
Yeah. So I guess what we have to
ask ourselves is... What do we talk
about when we talk about love?
The lights go to a blackout and the audience applauds as some
scene change music plays. As we follow Riggan off stage, the
lights are turned on again, but now they have an orange mood.
Lesley is the only one on stage, doing a monologue.
LESLEY
Mel and I have been together five
years, been married for four. But
it was Ed who taught me something
no one else could... He taught me
what it felt like to really feel
loved. And the terrible thing is
that if something happened to Mel
or myself, if something happened to
either one of us tomorrow, I think
the other one would grieve for a
while, you know, but then would go
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

LESLEY (CONT'D)
out and love again, have someone
else soon enough. All this-- All of
this love we’re talking about... it
would just be a memory. Maybe not
even a memory. Am I wrong? I mean,
I don’t know anything. And I’m the
first one to admit it.

10/29/14

/

81.

A Dresser waits in the wings to help Riggan with his change.
DRESSER
That was amazing!
Riggan looks proud. Things are finally going well. He undresses
to his underwear and puts on a robe and his moccasins, as the
stage begins to revolve. Laura, in costume, walks up beside
him. Over the following dialogue, the kitchen gives way to the
extravagant garden set we saw before.
LAURA
(A bit distant.)
It's actually going well.
RIGGAN
Yeah. (A beat.) Hey. I think we have to
talk.
LAURA
(Sad smile.)
No. We don't.
Riggan nods.
RIGGAN
Right. (Beat.) We will eventually,
though, ‘cause that’s the only way I get
to say I’m sorry. I really am.
Silence.
LAURA
We could've made good parents.
RIGGAN
Horrible. We would've been just-LAURA
Awful. Would have raised, like...
RIGGAN
...a serial killer...
LAURA
...or Justin Bieber.
(She smiles at him.)
(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

10/29/14
LAURA (CONT'D)
I'm not really the housewife type anyway. I
thought I could be a mom. My body seems to
disagree.

/

82.

The lights come up and Laura walks onto the stage.
LAURA (CONT’D)
(Back to him.)
You were right. This was fun.
Riggan watches her go, but something else grabs his attention.
We pan across the stage to see Sam and Mike on the other side.
They talk and laugh. Sam kisses Mike softly. Mike playfully
grabs her ass.
We pan back to Riggan. His expression morphs from brokenhearted to rage. He marches over to a stage hand.
RIGGAN
You have a cigarette?
The stage hand holds out a pack, Riggan takes one.
STAGE HAND
You need a light?
Riggan snatches the lighter and storms out through the hallway,
and out the back door of the theater to...
41

EXT. AN ALLEY WAY - OUTSIDE THE THEATER - CONTINUOUS

41

...the alley. Down at the end, we can see the tourists making
their way about the streets. Riggan lights the cigarette and
leans back against the stage door trying to calm himself.
RIGGAN
Breathing in, I calm myself. Breathing out,
I ease myself.
But this is New York City. A fluorescent light buzzes above his
head. Taxis honk their horns. The sound of pedestrians yelling
at one another. All fueling his agitation.
Riggan checks his watch. He pulls one last drag from the
cigarette before he tosses it, and turns to head back in, only
to realize the door has locked. He tries to pull it open to no
avail. He begins to knock loudly on the door. There is no
response. He knocks louder. Nothing.
He is turning to walk away when he realizes that his robe is
caught in the door. He checks his watch again and now is
beginning to panic. He tries to tear at the robe but the terry
cloth is too strong for him to rip. Frantically, he looks around
for an answer. No answer. No time. He pulls the robe off of him
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

83.

and, wearing only his underwear and moccasins, he charges down
the alley way toward...
42

42

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

...the street. Now, rushing down the block in his underwear. A
tourist spots him.
TOURIST
Hey, aren't you...?
RIGGAN
I'm sorry. I can't really-TOURIST
Riggan Thompson! Holy Shit! Let me get an
autograph.
Riggan marches on as a few more people begin to notice. The
Tourist runs in front of him, forcing him to stop.
TOURIST (CONT'D)
Come on, man. Don't be a dick. Let me have
an autograph.
The man produces a pen and a magazine from his pocket. More
people begin to gather...
Birdman!

MAN ON STREET

Seeing no other way out, Riggan signs the autograph.
TOURIST
Dude! You fuckin' rock!
Directly in front of him stand a lady and her two kids.
LADY
Can we take one picture?
RIGGAN
Are you kidding me?
KID #1
Why is he naked?
LADY
One picture...
KID #2
I can see his weenie.
(CONTINUED)

10/29/14

/

84.

Riggan tries to get past them, but a crowd has formed. A swarm
of cell phones begin to glow like fireflies.
LADY
(To her kids.)
Get next to him!
RIGGAN
Give me a fucking break, lady.
The kids run up