Shadows of the Past by Kayla Stiles (buy e reader txt) 📕

Bloody Knuckles

1/18/12

She sits in the abandoned house,
The damp wooden floor
Creaking eerily beneath her feet.
The candles lit in a circle around her,
Cast a soft glowing light on her pale face.
The smell of sulfur from burnt matches
Wafts through the air.
She raises her arms to begin her ritual.
The flickering light of the candles
Glints off of the knife in her right hand.
A pig lies, bound, before her.
Its squeals are muffled by a rope bound around its snout.
As she mutters her chant and dips her fingers in
A cup of blood by the pig,
The piglet’s eyes widen as she uses the blood
To mark a few intricately woven symbols
Over the pig’s heart.
Suddenly, she brings the knife above her head,
Held tightly in both hands,
And thrusts it down with all her might.
The knife slides cleanly through the pig,
Killing it instantly as the blade tip clangs
Against the tiled board under the body.
The shimmery blood flows over her hands
Like a small wave of red water.
It feels so slippery and moist and WARM.
Perversely, she brings her right hand to her mouth.
She can smell the coppery scent of the blood.
Slowly, she sticks her finger in her mouth and
Licks it. The warm liquid is so sweet and gentle
On her tongue. She savors the taste of the nectar of
The pig’s life. The liquid is cool against her cheeks.
She swallows the blood and stays still as it makes its
Descent down her throat and through her organs.
She feels blissfully content in the completion
Of her mission. She feels very successful.
She feels complete.

Bloody Tears

Here I lie, yet again
On my floor, in my den.
As the tears fall from my eyes,
As the razor brings more cries.
I see the blood flow from my wrists
As though in neverending red lists
Of the shit that hurts me so.
It ends the pain, that’s all I know.
It makes me feel above the hate,
Above the hurt, not too late
To turn back time, to change my fate.
To finally wipe clean this blackened slate.
You always hurt me, make me scream.
I'm all alone, wish this was a dream.
I fucking hate you, for all you do
Is make me feel like nothing can I do.
You kick me down, onto the ground,
You make me feel the hurt, all around.
As the blood and tears run down my wrists,
I watch them mix, form turns and twists.
Along my skin, across the floor,
Upon my legs, there's so much more.
It pools on the ground and touches the door.
I swear, to anyone else it’s a lot of gore.
But to me, this is my life.
Bloody tears, a mournful fife.
Good bye.

The Changing Tides of Life

There once was a teenage girl
With dirty blonde hair
And grey-blue eyes.
She had pale-tan skin
And scars along her legs.
She was 5’3” and a junior in high school.
She was also deeply in love
With the man of her dreams.
He was tall for a 15-year-old,
With beautiful brown eyes and
Long brown hair.
His skin was a handsome golden tan,
His voice like honey.
She always felt so safe
In his strong but gentle arms,
Comforted by his sweet voice,
And loved with the touch of a fingertip.
He was everything she’d ever
Wanted in a man.
But one day,
The Tides of Life changed on her.
Her perfect man
Started a new habit and
Began to drastically change.
He became less caring,
More angry and depressed.
It was as though
He had grown a hard shell
Around his soft personality.
The gentle kindness was still there,
But it was caged, hidden inside,
By the hard, tough-guy coldness.
His gentle, loving self
Had been shoved away by
The new habit-ridden, half-selfish person
He had become.
She cried every night for the love
That had changed on her.
He still loved her,
Just not as much as he had
In the very beginning.
They lasted 14 and a half months.
It was the longest relationship
Either of them had had.
Neither wanted to let the other go,
Yet this seemed more true
In her case than in his.
He tried to leave any time they argued
About his new-found habit.
The Tides of Life had truly changed him.
Maybe forever.

Confusion, Deceit, and Despair

8/28/09

Heart heavy with despair. Indecision, confusion, soul stained with desire.
Worried about the safety and survival of the coven, worried if he’s telling the whole truth or just lying, knowing you’ll believe him.
Needing to talk to him, but you cant get to a phone. Mind reeling in inability to grip what’s truth and what’s fiction.
“Time heals all” is stated everywhere, yet as time passes, you just get more confused. Things don’t make sense.
Feeling as though constantly bound, gagged and thrown away, hidden, in the corner shadows.
No freedoms whatsoever, no choices, no rights.
A robot, a zombie, a circus freak.
All you’ve ever wanted was to feel welcome, to live,
Only to find that for you that’s impossible.
Feeling so out of place, like such an unwelcome freak.

Daddy

1/3/12

He was the man who always tucked her in.
He was the man who’d kiss her good night.
He was the strongest man alive in her eyes.
He was her light, her knight, her guardian angel.
He was her protector in the night.
He took away her nightmares,
And whisked her away to happiness in his arms.
He saved her from being alone.
He was her hero, her idol.
Then one day he disappeared.
He never came back for her.
For 13 years, she cried alone at night,
Her emotions towards him alternating
Between missing him dearly,
And hatred for his abandoning her.
Even at the age of 17,
When she thought she was done crying over a man
Who hasn’t been there for 13 years,
She cries alone in her room,
Feeling very much alone in the world.
She sobs repeatedly, “Why, Daddy? Don’t you know
How much I love you, how much I need you?!”
Her boyfriend, her soul mate, still has a whole family.
He doesn’t understand how much pain she’s in,
How much it’s killing her to know
That there’s always the possibility
That her daddy doesn’t even love her anymore.
She cowers in terror at the prospect
That he may not even remember her anymore.
She just wants to be out of school already
So she can find him.
So she can go to him, and tell him how much she truly
Loves him and needs him back in her life.
So she can hopefully get her father back.
She shivers in terror at the thought
That he may not even want to be in her life,
That he may not even love or know her.
But her lover doesn’t understand this.
He doesn’t understand how bad she’s hurting inside,
How much she’s dying inside everyday
She goes without being able to find her father.
She sees her love’s perfect life, with his perfect family,
And she cant help but think of how
Fucked up her family life is.
Her boyfriend wants to help her,
Wants the old, happier her back.
But it’s near impossible to fix something
As broken as a shattered hope.
And as she drifts off to sleep once more,
She softly whispers once again, tears in her eyes,
“I miss you Daddy.”

Daddy Come Back

4 years old and she’s awakened
by her