Shadows of the Past by Kayla Stiles (buy e reader txt) 📕

Fuck Off Version 2

Covering my face as I walk down the hall,
I hear your snickers, I hear them all.
My hand goes to my wrist to hide the scars
The razor blade makes, I see the stars.
I once was a light, now I’m a shadow.
I once was the day, now I’m the night.
I once was happy, now in my sorrow I wallow.
You killed my joy, you sent me to flight.
You kick me to the ground, and throw sand in my face.
You put me on a rack, and tear me limb from limb.
Your back stabs are like a knife wound to my face.
I will never belong here, I’m always standing on the rim
Of the world, any second I will plummet to my death.
I shall forever feel the reek of the demon’s breath.
Why, to you, am I nothing more than shit to crush?
Why the fuck do you treat me like a crutch?
You use me, break me, and in the dirt you throw me.
You kick me, hurt me, make me bleed.
You see these scars, you laugh at me.
As I lie there in the dust, tearfully make I a nasty creed
To watch you die and hear you scream.
To make you feel what I always feel.
You will wish, as I do, that this was just a dream.
But, in truth, it’s nothing more than the hand Fate to me did deal.

Her Betrayal </3

9/6/11

She walks alone down the halls,
A pale, eerie shadow of a girl.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And that’s all she is to Her,
The one who hurt her. Ashley.
All she is to Ashley,
Is a ghost of a friend,
A shadow of Her past.
Ashley no longer cares
About the girl who was once
Her best friend, Her fallback, Her sister.
Now this pale girl
Matters no more to Ashley
Than a piece of trash might matter.
Her advice,
Might as well just be
A whisper on the wind,
Mere words flung at a brick wall.
But now it’s her turn to retaliate,
It’s her turn to make Ashley hurt.
She walks down the halls now,
Head bent low in preparation,
Body draped in black cloth.
The sun glints off of
The silver dagger in her right hand.
She approaches room 333,
With a sparkle of murder in her black eyes.
She opens the door and watches as her black boots
Cross the threshold and walks straight to Ashley.
Ashley stands there, frozen,
Quivering and quaking like a frightened Chihuahua.
The girl raises her arm,
Exposing the dagger to the rest of the room.
Ashley screams shrilly
As the girl brings the glittering blade down quickly,
And cuts into Ashley’s soft flesh.
Ashley’s screams are cut short
As the dagger slices through Her vocal cords.
Arterial blood sprays everywhere
As Her ceratoid artery is severed.
No more will She tell Her lies,
No more will She betray her.
No more will She hurt her.
No more will She USE her!
The girl looms over Ashley
As Ashley takes Her last dying breath,
As the light slowly leaves Her eyes.
As Ashley lays there on the floor,
Dead, in a puddle of Her own blood,
The girl laughs hysterically, then begins to cry
At the deed she has just done.
She looks down at the ring on her finger,
The friendship ring she’d gotten from Ashley.
She begins to cry harder with loss and hurt,
But not with guilt. No, not with guilt.

I am dead, No one gives a shit!

4/27/10

Salt dampens my jeans, my shirt, my face.
The flow is relentless, never ending.
Everyone oblivious, nobody seeing. A
Vixen, my friend, the only one to see my pain.
Even though tears stain my face, no one notices.
No one cares.
He stole my heart, then trampled on it.
As though I had no feelings, psychopathic.
Since he said goodbye, I haven’t been able to stay happy for long.
No man can ever love, ever feel.
Demolish, unhinge, desert me.
Erase the sutures that once held my already-ravaged heart together.
Sever my life-line, my blood flow.
Transparent though I may be, I was never invisible to you.
Reverse this pain, I would if I could, but too much pain exchanged to
Overturn this cruel, demeaning verdict.
Yet no one can hear my anguished screams of torture, no one could
Ever save me from the tormenting hell I’ve created for myself.
Despite the love we once shared, it was never meant to be.
No promises are kept.
My blown-apart heart will forever be the gaping wound that never heals.
Everything that was once good has dispersed.

I am forsaken. I am dead.

I’m Dying Inside

11/1/11

2 a.m. and I’m wide awake,
Just lying here alone in my room.
Haven’t been able to sleep at all,
Not since last I saw his face.
Not since I watched him cry.
Not since I became the reason he cried.

The sight of his deadened eyes
Floods my mind’s eyes,
Haunts me in my dreams.
It tears my heart to shreds,
Makes me cry rain forests,
Makes me want to make my wrists cry too,
Cry rivers of blood.

The sound of his joyless voice,
His tear-coated throat,
Makes me long for death.
Makes me wish him every happiness possible.
It makes me wish on every hour,
For his happiness to return,
For us to be joyful and love struck again.

I miss the days we were so happy.
Miss the days we truly believed
In “happily ever after”.
In “Together from now until death do us part.”
I miss the days we felt like we could do anything,
When we felt like we could BE anything!
Most of all, I miss the man I fell in love with.

I miss the days we used to frolic
In the desert, dance in the moonlight,
And kiss in the dark.
The days we would be so carefree
And buoyant. So love-filled and
Careless of the world around us.
Never giving a care as to what happened,
Just as long as we made it through together.

I miss my life, my love, my reason to live.
I yearn for his happiness, and his joy.
I yearn for a happier me, too.
A me who would not hurt him so.
A me who would sleep forever,
Before ever raising my voice to him.
I. Yearn. To. Find. Peace.

I Miss…

11/30/09

I miss the way you’d walk me to 5th, however tedious it’d been.
I miss the way you’d gently kiss my hair, my cheek, my skin.
I miss the passion which once existed in our hugs.
Unfortunately, all the fire in them has gone to the dogs.
I miss how reluctant you’d be to let me go.
I miss how you’d come and everyone in the room would seem to just go.
Your smile, even when things all looked down, was all I needed to pick me up off the ground.
Geez, I even miss your gentle-but-obvious flirts.
I miss how you were the only one to see me when I was invisible, which I am again.
I miss how I felt safe in your arms, I no longer ever am.
I miss the courage I once had, the courage of whence you gifted me with.
Like a rubber band stretched beyond its limit, our bond has long-since snapped.
I miss how tight you’d hold me in your arms.
I miss how long you’d embrace me in gentle-but-strong arms.
It makes me sad to think how these pleasures are given away to someone else so quickly and easily.
You made me feel loved, now that love has dissipated.
My heart heavy, I walk to class alone, knowing I no longer matter in your life, even as a friend.
You gave me wings so I could fly, and then snapped them when it hurt most!
I am but another brick in the wall.
My heart died long ago so don’t worry about me taking a knife to my wrists.
No one sees me, nobody cares about a freak!
I was just a mere pawn in your cruel game.
My tears have long-since deserted me, I can cry no longer!
Enough of this! I just stopped by to say I miss the us that never was, could never be.