The Arabian Nights Entertainments by Anonymous (best books to read .txt) 📕

When the vizier Schemseddin heard his sister-in-law say that the maker of the tart brought by the eunuch must without doubt be Bedreddin, he was overjoyed; but reflecting that his joy might prove groundless, and in all likelihood the conjecture of Noureddin's widow be false, Madam, said he, why are you of that mind? Do you think there may not be a pastry-cook in the world who knows how to make cream-tarts as well as your son? I own, replied she, there may be pastry-cooks who can make as good tarts; but as I make them after a peculiar manner, and nobody but my son is let into the secret, it must absolutely be he who made this. Come, my brother, added she in transport, let us call up mirth and joy; we have at last found what we have been so long looking for! Madam, said the vizier, I entreat you to moderate your impatience, for we shall quickly know the truth. All we have to do, is to bring the pastry-cook hither, and then you and my daughter will readily distinguish whether it is Bedreddin or not; but you must both be hidden, so as to have a view of him without his seeing you; for my design is to delay the discovery till we return to Cairo, where I propose to regale you with very agreeable diversion. He then left the ladies in their tent, and retired to his own, where he called for fifty of his men, and said to them, Take each of you a stick in your hands, and follow Schaban, who will conduct you to a pastry-cook's in the city. When you arrive there, break and dash in pieces all you find in the shop; if he asks you why you commit such disorder, only ask him again if it was not he who made the cream-tart that was brought from his house. If he owns himself the man, seine his person, fetter him, and bring him along with you; but take care you do not beat him, nor do him the least harm. Go, and lose no time.

The vizier's orders were immediately executed. The detachment, conducted by the black eunuch, went with expedition to Bedreddin's house, and broke in pieces the plates, kettles, copper-pans, tables, and all the other moveables and utensils they met with, and drowned the sherbet-shop with creams and comfits. Bedreddin, astonished at the sight, said, with a pitiful tone, Pray, good people, why do you serve me so? What is the matter? What have I done? Was it not you, said they, who sold this eunuch the cream-tart? Yes, replied he, I am the man, and who says any thing against it? I defy any one to make a better. Instead of giving him an answer, they continued to break all round them; even the oven was not spared. The neighbours in the mean time took the alarm; and, surprised to see fifty armed men commit such a disorder, asked the reason of such violence. Bedreddin said once more to the actors of it. Pray, tell me what crime I am guilty of, to have deserved this usage? Was it not you, replied they, who made the cream-tart you sold to the eunuch? Yes, it was I, replied he; I maintain it is a good one, and I do not deserve the usage you give me. However, without listening to him, they seized his person, and snatching the cloth off his turban, tied his hands with it behind his back; then dragging him by force out of his shop, they marched off with him. The mob gathering, and taking compassion on Bedreddin, took his part, and offered opposition to Schemseddin's men; but that very minute up came some officers from the governor of the city, who dispersed the people, and favoured the carrying off of Bedreddin; for Schemseddin had in the mean time gone to the governor's house to acquaint him with the order he had given, and to demand the interposition of force to favour the execution. The governor, who commanded all Syria in the name of the sultan of Egypt, was loath to refuse any thing to his master's vizier; so that Bedreddin was carried off, notwithstanding his cries and tears. It was needless for him to ask, by the way, those who forced him off, what fault had been found with his cream-tart, as they gave him no answer. In short, they carried him to the tents, and detained him till Schemseddin returned from the governor of Damascus's house.

Upon the vizier's return, Bedreddin Hassan was brought before him: My lord, said Bedreddin, with tears in his eyes, pray do me the favour to let me know wherein I have displeased you. Why, you wretch! said the vizier, was it not you who made the cream-tart you sent me? I own I am the man, replied Bedreddin; but pray what crime is that? I will punish you according to your deserts, said Schemseddin: it shall cost you your life for sending me such a sorry tart. Good God, cried Bedreddin, what news is this? Is it a capital crime to make a bad creamtart? Yes, said the vizier, and you are to expect no mercy from me. While this interview lasted, the ladies, who were hid, observed Bedreddin narrowly, and readily knew him, though he had been so long absent. They were so transported with joy, that they swooned away, and, when they recovered, would fain have run and fallen upon Bedreddin's neck; but the promise they had made to the vizier, not to discover themselves, restrained the tender emotions of love and nature.

Schemseddin, having resolved to set out that very night, ordered the tents to be struck, and the necessary preparations to be made for his journey. As for Bedreddin, he ordered him to be put into a chest or box well locked, and laid on a camel. When every thing was got ready, the vizier and his retinue began their march, and travelled all that night and the next day without stopping. In the evening they halted, when Bedreddin was taken out of his cage in order to be served with necessary refreshments, but still carefully kept at a distance from his mother and wife; and, during the whole expedition, which lasted twenty days, he was served in the same manner. When they arrived at Cairo, and had encamped in the neighbourhood of that place, Schemaeddin called for Bedreddin, gave orders in his presence to a carpenter to get some wood with all expedition, and make a stake. Heyday! said Bedreddin, what do you mean to do with a stake? Why, to nail you to it, replies Schemseddin; then to have you carried through all the quarters of the town, that the people may have the spectacle of a worthless pastry-cook who makes cream-tarts without pepper! Bedreddin cried out so comically, that Schemseddin could hardly keep his countenance: Good God, cried he, must I suffer a death, as cruel as ignominious, for not putting pepper in a cream-tart? Must I be rifled, and have all the godds in my house broken in pieces, imprisoned in a chest, and at last nailed to a stake? and all for not putting pepper in a cream-tart! Good God! who ever heard of such a thing? Are these the actions of Mussulmen, of persons who make professions of probity and justice, and practise all manner of good works? With these words he shed tears; and then renewing his complaint, No, continued he, never was man used so unjustly, nor so severely. Is it possible they should be capable of taking a man's life for not putting pepper in a cream-tart? Cursed be all cream-tarts, as well as the hour in which I was born! Would to God I had died that minute!

The disconsolate Bedreddin did not cease to pour forth his lamentations; and when the stake was brought, and the nails to nail him to it, he cried out bitterly at the horrid sight. Heaven! said he, canst thou suffer me to die an ignominious and painful death? And for what crime? Not for robbery or murder, or renouncing my religion, but for not putting pepper in a cream- tart!

Night being pretty far advanced, the vizier ordered Bedreddin to be put up again in his cage, saying to him, Stay here till to-morrow; the day shall not be spent before I give orders for your death. The chest or cage was then carried away, and laid upon the camel that had brought it from Damascus; at the same time all the other camels were loaded again, and the vizier, mounting his horse, ordered the camel that carried his nephew to march before him, thus entering the city, with all his equipage following. After passing through several streets, where nobody appeared, every one being in bed, he arrived at his house, where he ordered the chest to be taken down, but not to be opened till further orders. While his retinue were unloading the other camels, the vizier took Bedreddin's mother and his daughter aside; and, addressing himself to the latter, said, God be praised, my child, for this happy occasion of meeting your cousin and your husband. You surely remember in what order your chamber was on your wedding night; put every thing in the very same situation; and, in the mean time, if your memory do not serve you, I can supply you by a written account which I caused to be taken upon that occasion; and leave the rest to me.

The beautiful lady went joyfully about the orders of her father, who at the same time began to put things in the hall in the same order they were in when Bedreddin was there with the sultan of Egypt's hunch-backed groom. As he went over his manuscript, his domestics placed every moveable accordingly. The throne was not forgotten, nor the lighted wax-candles. When every thing was put to rights in the hall, the vizier went into his daughter's chamber, and put Bedreddin's clothes, with the purse of sequins, in their proper place. This done, he said to the beautiful lady, Undress yourself, my child, and go to bed. As soon as Bedreddin enters the room, complain of his being from you so long, and tell him, that when you awaked, you were astonished you did not find him by you. Press him to come to bed again; and to-morrow morning you will divert your mother-in-law and me by telling us what has passed between you and him. The vizier went from his daughter's apartment, and left her to undress and go to bed.

Schemseddin ordered all his domestics to leave the hall, except two or three, whom he ordered to remain. These he commanded to go and take Bedreddin out of the chest, to strip him to his shirt and drawers, conduct him in that condition to the hall, leave him there all alone, and shut the door upon him. Bedreddin, though overwhelmed with grief, had been asleep all the while; insomuch that the vizier's domestics had taken him put of the chest, and stripped him, before he awaked, and carried him so suddenly into the hall, that they did not give him time to bethink himself where he was. When he found himself alone in the hall, he looked round, and the objects of his sight recalling to his memory the circumstances of his marriage, he perceived with astonishment that it was the same hall where he had seen the sultan's groom of the stables. His surprise was still greater, when, approaching softly to the door of a chamber which he found open, he espied his clothes in the very place where he remembered to have left them on his wedding-night. My God! said he, rubbing his eyes, am I asleep or awake?

His wife, who in the mean time was diverting herself with his astonishment, suddenly opened the curtains of her bed; and, bending her head forward, My dear lord, said she, with a tender air, what do you there? Pr'ythee come to bed again; you have been out of it a long time. I was strangely surprised, when I awaked, at not finding you by me. Bedreddin's countenance changed when he perceived that the lady who spoke to him was the charming person he had lain with before; he therefore entered the room; but, calling to mind all that had passed for an interval of ten years, and not being able to persuade himself that it could have happened in one night, he went to the place where his clothes and the purse of sequins lay, and, after examining them very carefully, By Heaven, cried he, these are things that I can by no means comprehend! The lady, who enjoyed his confusion,