Gone by By: Morgan:) (ebook reader library TXT) 📕

wait till you get back so we can finally be married. So many things have happened. Your repair shop is going so good. Its really taking off. I help out every now and then but your fathers doing a great job. The children still miss you. They ask about you every day.
You know how they say when one door closes another door opens? Well, thats how I feel. I think by you leaving and enlisting I think we are going to be so much stronger because if we can make it through this than we will come out shining on the other side. Hold on, baby. There’s only a little time left till we can be together again. I look at your picture every day and it reminds me why I love you so much.

Love you now, Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.
Your Jane


As I sealed the envelope with a kiss I handed it to the mail man. It seems I talk to him more than Alan. As another week passes without any word from Alan I grew sad. As the mail man came and no letters for me I lost my breath. I felt use up and broken down. I felt like shattered glass. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t make a sound. Here is another day and I’d rather give it up than give it one more try. No one understands how I feel inside. It feels like the end of the world. As another week goes by reality settles in. He’s not coming back.
I sat on my floor. In the middle of the night. In the dark. Reading each letter he has sent me. I read it so many times I memorized each and every one of them. I took off my ring and looked at it. I threw it against my light blue wall. It rang as it hit the floor and circled around.
How could he? How could he leave me? Never write back? This isn’t like him. I have to know what happened. Could my nightmares really become my reality? That night I had another nightmare. They were coming more and more as it seems. ~~~~~

I was running. I kept looking back but no one was there. I was tired and out of breath but I kept going. The air was thick and smokey. Fog was all around. The sky was red and black all over. I looked down at myself. I was wearing a wedding dress. Where was I? I looked in front of me to see Alan. He was standing still, far away. I thought if I ran fast enough I would catch up to him but it didn’t work like that. I tried running to catch up to him but it seemed that no matter how fast or far I ran, I never got any closer. I tried so hard. I ran so fast that I fell face forward. I tumbled over my feet and sat in the muddy dirt. I looked down at what was my white dress and found it covered in mud. I looked at Alan who was still standing still but it seemed as if he was still moving far away. I tried to stand up but something was wrong with my legs. They hurt and were all red with blood. I was so confused. I felt the pain. I want to wake up now.
“Alan!” I cried but he kept going far away.
“Come catch me, Jane.” He said. I stood up and fought past the pain. I ran the fastest I’ve ever ran before. He stopped moving. I finally caught up to him but when I did I tried to touch him but my fingers cut through him, like fog. I moved my hands where his face should me and his picture smeared. The wind blew and took him away. I circled around trying to see what was happening.
“What is this? What do you want? Alan!” I cried. I didn’t know what was happening. I sat down in the dirt in pain. I have given up. He had vanished. Gone. I closed my eyes and wished I would wake up. ~~~~~


When I woke up I was in my bed. I was all sweaty and my blankets had been kicked onto the floor. My legs were tingly. They still hurt. I rubbed them as I sat up. I got up and walked into my bathroom. I ran cold water in the sink. I took a hand full and splashed my face. I looked up at the mirror and saw my reflexion. My hair was wet and my make-up smeared.
I turned on the shower. I made sure it was freezing cold. I dropped my clothes and walked into the shower. I took a deep breath as the cold water hit my body. I let the water run over my head and fall from my body.
After most likely a hour or so I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I dried myself off and then put on Alan’s big baggy shirt he left in my dresser. I laid in my bed and looked out my window. The snow was coming down really hard. This would have been our first winter. I shivered and grabbed my blanket.

I woke up the next morning with a cold. I sneezed as I went down stairs. As usual my Father was reading his paper and drinking his coffee at the table. My Mom was making eggs.
“Bless you.” My Father said as he looked over his paper.
“Want some tea?” My Mother asked. She has the best tea. It always helps colds. She puts honey in it and it helps my breathing and lungs.
“Yes, please.” I said stuffy as I sat down at the table.
“Any word from the boy yet?” My Father asked. I didn’t answer him.
“Jane, answer him.” My Mother warned me.
“No.” I mumbled.
“I knew he was nothing but trouble.” He said.
“No, Dad! He was not trouble! He was handsome and nice and he really cared about me! He made me happy, Daddy. Didn’t you want that?” I asked him. The first sentence i’ve said to him since Alan left and I was disrespecting him. I knew I was going to get hit. He stood and and stood over me. I closed my eyes.
“Yes, I wanted that.” He mumbled. I opened my eyes and he hugged me. “I love you, Jane.” I removed my arms from my sides and hugged him back.
“I love you.” I said back.
“We will find him.” He promised.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really?” My Mother asked.
“Yes.” My Dad answered. “Get dressed.” He said and I went upstairs. I put on my jeans and my jacket. I put my hair down and put my lip stick on. I slipped on my shoes and we were out the door. I got into his truck. He started it up and went in reverse out of the drive way.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To a friends.” He said. I accepted that thats all he was going to tell me so I dropped it. When he stopped the truck we were at the sheriffs. My Dad knew everyone in our town. He got out and I followed behind him.
“Howdy! How we doing today?” The sheriff asked.
“Pretty good and yourself?” My father asked,
“Great! What can I help you with?” He replied.
“My daughter here is married to a boy who enlisted. His letters have stopped. Its not like him. Is there anything you can do to see if he is..” My Father didn’t finish his sentence.
“I’m sorry Mr. Johnson but I can’t help you with that. You wont know until they come to your door.” He said.
“Well, thanks anyways.” My Dad sighed while shaking his hand. We walked out and got into his truck.
“What now?” I asked.
“Nothing. He is the only one who would have any chance of helping us and if he can’t than no one can.” He answered. I nodded and looked out the window.
“What did he mean when he said when they come to your door?” I asked.
“When a soldier dies that people who work for the army comes and tell you. They tell you how he died and they give you there belongings and a letter that they have written in case they have died.” He explained. I sniffled and then got out of the truck. “Where are you going?” He yelled.
“I’m walking home.” i said and started walking. He drove home. I needed some time to think.

There was weeks of sleepless nights and long days. I didn’t eat. I couldn’t eat. I waited for his letter. I kept writing to him as if we never stopped but I still got no reply. Today day Debbie came and tried to take me to a movie. I got dressed and went down stairs. I put on my light jacket. As I grabbed my keys the door bell rang. I opened it and it was two men. They were wearing those army hats. They took there hats off.
“Ms. Johnson?” One asked. I nodded. My Mother and Debbie came up behind me. They stood at my sides.
“May we come in, Ma’am?” The other asked. I nodded and we took a seat on our couch. They sat across from us. I held my breath as they sighed.
“Ma’am, we are sorry to inform you that Lutenit Alan Heusen has died in battle.” Michelle held her mouth and gasped. My Mother covered her face with her hands. I sat there staring at the men. The words rang in my ears, ‘has died in battle. have died in battle.’ I zone out as there lips kept moving. Everything went quiet. I couldn’t talk or blink or anything. A didn’t even cry. Its like I froze. I heard him continue speaking but I could only hear it faintly. “There was a bombing and so many had died. We didn’t find a body but he is presumed dead because of his absence.” My Mother wrapped her arms around me.
“But there’s a chance he can still be alive? Right?” Michelle asked.
“Thats not likely.” The other said. I blanked out again. Everything went black. Then I saw something. It was a field full of flowers. Alan and I laid in the middle of it. My head was on his chest and I was drawing circles on it.
“Can we stay here forever?” I asked him desperately. He pushed my bangs out of my face.
“I love you.” He whispered. I tear escaped from my eye and landed on his bare chest. It shattered like glass as I watched. “Don’t cry.” He said while wiping my tears. “I will always be here to wipe your tears. I will always have a shoulder for you to cry on. I will always be here to kiss your worries away. I will always love you.”
“Love you now, Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.” I said. Just as I did I blacked out again. I was back on the couch.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” The first one asked me.
“You have just told me that my husband is dead, and you’re asking me if I am okay?” I asked him while trying to stay strong.
“I’m, I’m sorry Ma’am.” The younger one mumbled. I held up my hand to have him stop talking.
“Thank you.” I said and and went up to my room. Michelle followed behind me while my Mother let the men out.
“I’m so sorry.” Michelle said as she hugged me. I was