feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

victory
of the students by family members & in some
homes there is a deep last longing silence like their
home is attacked by atom bomb as in Hiroshima &
Nagasaki, but unlike the two cases there was no
point for me as in graveyard everything remains
same, My Mom & Dad have no time to know
whether my result is out or not, whether I am a
science or commerce student, & I developed a
habit of it, but what strange was …..”
Yaadi,” Strange, what ? What so strange ?”
Jay,” I got 89.60% in board exams, 1313 rank in
IIT-JEE, 1216 rank in AIEEE, 79 rank in UPTU
(Author : Such type of results happen when you
love to study, not study to get result, as Jay
did….), But………..”

Yaadi,” But what? (Author : Abey aur kya Chaand
todkey de tujhey, S**ley Bachhe ki jaan lega??)
What were you expecting more than this? Why are
you making that f**king face? You should be very
proud, as in Lakhs of people, you were in top 1500,
awsm man, awsm man……”

Jay silences, after a while, he manages to reply…

Jay,” Digvijay broke the relation of friendship,
Ya, Did you hear got dam… ?? He broke the
friendship, again I lost my love (LOVE of friendship)
I lost, did you hear ??? I lost again?? I lost…. We
were no more together, I was alone again, what did
remain in my life, what?? I was sinking, I was
suffocating, Tears … tears…. I am alone…. Did you
hear, I am alone……… (Author’s appeal to readers :
Please try to feel the pain of Jay, Please it’s very
important to know how difficult for a person like
Jay to live, Please feel & read this paragraph
again…….)”

With this Jay goes mad, starts kicking
everything first chair, then sofa, then table,
Suddenly he calms down bursts in tears, tears, tears
all around, he is crying very loudly like a 4 year
baby, louder, louder, tears, tears mixed……………….
Jay(To yaadi), “Are you getting it I was again
alone, devoid of again, devoid of again that ‘
One Word, LOVE’ ”

Yaadi,” Please calm down, Please be relaxed,
Please think about the beautiful day you have spent
today, since 4 a.m. …… (Author : 4 a.m. (4 a.m. of 12
Octember, not of 13 Octember, because the video
recording is currently running of 12 Octember, 7
p.m.) ? Ya, 4 a.m. you’ll get to know about it at last
of novel, please maintain the suspense & try to
mark the time after every cigarette………. ) ”

Thinking about the sweet moments he is spending
since early morning, Jay controls himself, he
goes & after washing his face, he again sits infront
of mirror (Yaadi) & utters….

Jay,” Sorry Yaadi, for such behavior, but I
couldn’t control myself, Digvijay was everything for
me, a best buddy, as like a brother, & he just broke
that deep rooted relation just because He got
89.4% in board, 5970 rank in IIT, 7989 rank in
AIEEE, 357 rank in UPTU…. Only…… & why he could
try to compare it with me, his best buddy…. Even he
too got great ranks & though I got whatever I did,
what was the point there to be jealous, jealous of
me…., I went to his house to congratulate him after
the results, He simply asked me to leave, and not
coming back to him again in life, without caring
about anything, about our friendship, about my
relationship,…. Oh, how shattered I was, I was
broken into pieces, I was not getting anything, Was
I dreaming, was the life playing with me, was I
paying for some sins of my last births, I didn’t know,
but what I knew was that I was alone again…”

Again tears trickles down his eyes, he is trying to
console himself…..

Yaadi,” Please control yaar, if he was just jealous of
that differences in ranks then he can’t be called as
friend, he is just a f**king fellow, who just deserves
a high intensity kick by a horse ……”

Jay,” Hey, yaadi don’t abuse him, He might be
not my friend but still I am his friend & I’ll die
without breaking that bond from my side…..
However at that time I was feeling same as you are
feeling for him now, I too in anger left the Digvijay’s
house just by congratulating him once & never
looked back, though sometimes I wanted to visit
him again but I controlled myself & never went to
him again…….. After a month, I too became
habitual of my loneliness but what new coming in
my life was, my departure from that graveyard, as
the counseling process for the colleges was about
to start…”

Yaadi,” Now you was about to leave your home??
So amazing, sounding nice, not just nice awsm,
hostels haan…. Hostel’s life…. Cool ”.

Jay,” first rectify your mistake it was never a
home, it was always a graveyard, understand! , Ya I
was looking for a heaven, where I could relax, live
my life in completely a different, new manner…”

(Author : Dekh rahey ho S**ley ko, masti jyaada
chaa rahi hai, engineering colleges me relax
kehney ko keh raha hai, lagta hai aaj se pehley
kabhi Engineering word se iska paala nhi padha,
First semester nikalney do, akal kya khud bhi
thikaaney aa jayega jab 80% attendance, lambeylambey
assignment, na khatam honey waaley
papers, anginat projects, baat-baat par viva etc ka
High-Voltage shock lagega…….)

Yaadi,” So, which college did you go for? “

Jay,” It’s AIT (Alpha Institute of Technology),
Delhi one of the top most college of India, filled by
IIT-JEE ranks…… “.

Yaadi,” Oh AITian haan, Great But what was your
branch ????”

Jay, “ECE (Electronics & Communication
Engineering), Just because My area of interest was
around Semi-conductors, amplifiers, diodes,
transistors etc…..”

( Author : Yaar had hoti hai, ECE ko khel samajh rha
hai, Jab current aur voltage source k complex
network se paala padega to Krichhof Baba ko bhi
sahi se nhi laga payega, jab intresting area kahan
kahaan se niklega pta bhi nhi chalega, Mazaak hi
bana rakha hai, achha hua Mech nhi boli, fir to
Hathodey se hi shaadi karni padti…… LOLz……
Simply ECE & MECH ENGG. Rocks……………………)

Yaadi,” Oh, you are an Electronics Engineer &
currently working as General Manager in your
father’s firm…….. Great…….. But why did you go for
Engineering when you had to work for father as
manager……… You should went for some commerce
courses like BBA, MCA…….. ”.

Jay,” Ya, you are right, an engineer should
contribute in research work related to sciences, but
the main irony was that the life was never so
straight to me, I had to take over my father’s
business, & live his life as he has lived….. I can’t do
something innovative, just occupy the chair given
by him, as there were several reasons behind it, you
will get to know about it later……. ”

Yaadi,”O.K., I got it….. So pity of you… Hats off to
you man, such a difficult task to live without LOVE,
to do what you dislike…..”.

Jay,” Anyhow, the exciting thing was, I was
leaving graveyard & going to AIT,Delhi…… Awsum
feeling, it was for me……. Just fantasizing about
hostel’s life….. Just wait a moment, just coming…”

Jay drops down the second bud & runs to
bedroom may be for collecting something, some
piece of paper & for the ‪#‎third_cigarette‬………………

Chapter 3

 

‪#‎3rd_chpter‬

Mayur vihar , delhi....
12 oct , 2014; 8:00 pm

jay hurriedly comes out with a paper & again burnh his ‪#‎3rd_cigarette‬ with the same golden lighter, and pointing the page towards mirror, he utters....
"look my admission letter , admission letter to AIT, delhi, a letter that every class 12th std dreams of , î was having it at that time just bec i have LOVED my soul-mate PCM , at least one thing was clear to me , i certainly knew that what the love is all about and how it should be....", jay says

Yaadi,"of course , buddy you know love , you understand it more than annyone can, i'm proud of one of the AITIAN standing infront of me , so how was the journey at AIT ,delhi "
jay,"thanks for the compliment, OH! Journey at AIT , my complete life it was , it is like impossible for me to explore it in hours, but with the help of this copy , "FEELINGS FOR HER", i wiill try my best to give you the glimpses of those 3 wonderful year."
yaadi ," then for whom are you waiting for? Let's begin the journey.,"

 

Jay,"ya sure , ok let me begin with the day of my first exposure to Ait delhi, it was the day of admission, it is not a huge campus, as normal engineering colleges are , it is just 45 acres, but maintained like a 7 star Hotel, Every single arce is so planned that your first look can't give surety of that it is an engineering college...."

jay watches his wrist watch , it's 8:05 as if he wants to complete his journey in the sufficient time , again he starts...

Jay ,"i along with my driver , drove straight to AIT CAMPUS then to the auditorium of AIT where admission procedure was going on, i made my driver to wait for me in the car parking, after saluting i entered the ECE department & read my name on the departmen notice board amon the studens octlared for ECE batch for 1 year, JAY SINGH RATHOR ECE 12, Just to know about the students near my roll no. , i again saw the list , ANKIT SRIVASTAV ECE 12, DRISTI GUPTA ECE 14"

Jay silences, he is kissing his cigarette like he is missing someone, his eyes are wet again , he is kissing thore letters DRISHTI GUPTA written by hin on the page of the same copy , he is releasing the smoke very slow , he stands and opens one window , he takes his guitar and sits beside the window , he is looking in a mood of playing guitar......After 5 min , he plays the guitar , he is playing like a professional music bands artists, he is playing as if no 1 can copy him, as if he is playing guitar since last 7 births, surprisingly he is singing a song, like a professionl singer with wet eyes , so amazing to wíthness an artist like him , here he goes.....
"TU AASHQUii hai , tu aashquii hai.... TU HAI AASMAN ME , TERI YE ZAMeen hai , tu jo hai to sab kuch hai , na koi kami hai , tu hi dil hai , tu hi jaan bhi hai , tu khushi hai aasra bhi hai, teri chahat zindgi hai, tu mohbbt hai , tu aashiqi hai ,tu aashiqi hai....."

He completes his song , as sometimes when you feel alone or like shattered into pieces, when no one's word can console you , it is best to sing song which you like the most , as only music has got the potential to consöle anyone in this world , Even some of us often need it too, music may be inspirational or whatever it suits the situation best..,

He completes the song and closes the window again, he come back to the mirror and utters....
Jay,"SORRY, yaadi for leaving you alone, i know you can understand , my best frd , what i just need was my guitar , soory again...."
yaadi,"don't say sorry buddy, i know how much it is difficult for you to come back again to tell me the story , i'm proud of you, you did nothing wrong , anyone in the position in you are, have surely did the same , take your time and then we will start the journey...."
jay,"nöw , i'm fine or it will be correct to say my guitar, my cigarettd and your face Yaadi makes me fine, ok let me remind where i was.."

 

Yaadi,"you