feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

Dhanush( Jay’s 3 year old son),” Happy Birthday
Daddy……..”

Jay,” Thanks captain, I wish I would be there
with you, But please forgive your Daddy, I love you
a lot, Now give the phone to mummy………”

Saumya,” So, What you are going to do tonight?”

Jay,” Hey! Listen, I am going to miss you all, miss
the 3 Ds…… Saumya, Dhanush & Our Band
‘DARPAN’ (A hindi term for word Mirror….. ), Love
you all………”

Saumya,” Hey Where are you going ?? Why are
you talking us like you will never come back? ”

Jay,” Please don’t call me again, I want to
celebrate my Birthday alone, Where I’m going, you
will get to know tomorrow, till than love you all…..
Haan, Don’t call me again, Understand……. Love
You, More importantly, Love your way of singing…”

Without listening anything from her in reply,
Jay cuts the phone call…….

Yaadi,” How much she loves you & one you, who
never loved her, like you loved Drishti….”

Jay,” Hey, Yaadi Love is something which
happens once, It wins or Loses……. ”

Yaadi,” Don’t give that shit man, You are again
misunderstanding this Divine word, It never wins or
loses, It simply exists, It is always there with
everyone, It is we who are blind to it, You should
love her like the way you loved Drishti…….”

Jay,” I know you are right this time, But Now, I
can’t do anything, Now I know what is love but I
can’t love, Even I can’t regret for it, However I will
try my best to love her, pointing towards the
cigarette bud in his hand…..”

Yaadi,” Ya, I know Buddy, You will love her this
time, rectifying your mistakes, You are just best in
this whole world, You don’t regret for what you
have done”

Jay,” O.K. Bro, Let me come on the same track
back, After completing the journey to Lay of
Ladhak, again It was time for winter vacations,
Again I practiced guitar, Then it was time for 2nd
year, I enjoyed it with Drishti, with some new
memories, strengthening the bond & rooting deep
our friendship, Not even bond between her & me
deepened but between me, Ankit & Deepak, a
relation of brothers created too, We started loving
each others like brothers do, My family was just on
verge of its completion at AIT, I didn’t hide any
secret from them except that I love Drishti from
Ankit, During the cultural fest of AIT, I dedicated a
song to Drishti with my guitar in front of whole AIT,
one of my favorite song sung by Lucky Ali as,

“Kahaan se tuu aati hai, Kahaan ko tuu jaati hai……
Sapno ko sajaati hai, Apno ko le jaati hai……………...
Bagho me jab behti hai, Kaano me kuch kehti hai…
Aati hai nazar nhi, saanso me par rehti hai……………
Hawaah hai pawan hai, Vaayu hai purwaai hai……..
Jeevan hai jaan hai, Ya parchaayi hai……………………
Lene aayi hai, Ya kuch mere liye laayi hai……………..
Puchunga mai kya tujhse kahaan se tuu aayi, tuu
kaun hai… Tuu kaun hai…. Tuu kaun hai, Kaun hai…”

It was the 2nd year only, when I spended most of my
time with her, I gifted her lots of my poems at
canteen, liberary, OAT…..& I can’t forget the Badmintons
& shuttle cock, which I regularly played
with her, every night even in exams from 8:00 to
8:45, It used to fill my heart with happiness when I
made myself lose by 9-10 in most of the games, to
make her win most of the games made me win
always, Every night after having dinner we
continued the trend which we had started there at
Girl’s Hostel of sharing a Chocolate, We used to
share one chocolate everyday, First she had half of
it in 5 secs & it took me to complete other half in 5
minutes, That whole year I hardly went to my home
back, I didn’t call my Lucknow’s friends or even
My Mom & Dad as my void was filling at AIT, Even
During my vacations of 2nd year whether winter or
summer, I made myself busy there at AIT in some
project works for two reasons, To live away from
home & to spend time with her as she had to stayed
there at Hostel for project works. You know in
Engineering, vacations are the only period where
you can apply your engineering in some project
works you want to indulge in. I was just waiting for
the correct moment, for proposing her, Time was
speeding very fast, I was just waiting & waiting,
though I was simultaneously enjoying with her but
your enjoyment remains incomplete till the girl
with whom you want to spend your whole life is
ready to accept your LOVE, I was still incomplete, It
was time for completion of another year at AIT &
with this it was the end of 2nd Year…… I had to go
home this time as she was also leaving for her
home, As usual I dropped her with Ankit, This time I
dropped Deepak too as his train was coming also at
the same time that of Drishti’s & Ankit’s. I drove to
my Home back, The situation had become more
worst at home, My Mother was on world tour for 6
months & my father was in Tokyo for some business
work, During that summer vacations, I started
writing songs, writing poems for her, did some
project work related to ECE, enjoyed it with daily
phonic conversation with Drishti…… & now it was
time for 5th semester, You can say it the ultimate
semester for me…………..”

Yaadi,” I know, Before coming to that just light your
9th one…… ”

Jay,” Ya, Sure…..”

Mayur Vihar, Delhi……….
13 Oct, 2014 ; 02:00a.m..

Jay takes out his 9th cigarette & lights it………..

Yaadi,”So, You were going to explore 3rd year,
haan….. So, can you start it with Hostel Nights @
AIT….? ”

Jay,”Ya, Sure Hostel Night secures one of the
important place in any engineer’s life or anyone’s
life, Hardly we study there except during exam
times when we have no other choice, AIT Hostels
were following the same trends, We were living
like a family, an integrated unit, from various states
of India & some from outside of India, At night we
are nearly mad, some go for high Octibel music,
some hum tunes by themselves, in a group we play
several games like LUDO, 52 exciting CARDS, Even
at night to play Basket-Ball or Football is not a bad
deal, Very often we in a group, used to gossip on
various topics, very often it was on girls, We
debated a lot on girls, you are from any branch but
Hostel life makes you aware about the girls from all
branches, Even you know their names, from where
they belong though sometimes you forget your
subjects name, Some of us are so crazy about them
that they go for research on them, they even know
their phone numbers, their likes & dislikes, from
where they did schooling, their current Boy-
Friends. Moreover, when your room-mate thoughts
match your thoughts then you go for late night
gossips with him about whom you are thinking of,
like I used to chat with Deepak about Drishti
though sometimes my excess description about her
made Deepak bore but he never made any
complaint to me as he liked my company to discuss
about his girl friend, as my tips would always
helped him. When the moon rises there at sky, the
whole hostel alives, It is like day for us, You can see
us there at canteen, at sports complex, at hostel
gardens & some of us like me nearby girl’s hostel…
We know each other’s facebook passwords as I
knew that of Deepak & Ankit but I never gave them
mine, Even there were few who developed fake
facebook id with names like Kavita Singh, Swati
Srivastav etc…. just to know about the girls who
didn’t accept their friend request, they were like
professionals in this game as they can chat with you
like a girl, One such fellow was Nishant who at
night used to enjoy behaving as girls, I still don’t
know about such mentality, But one day he came to
me & told me his truth of making fake ids, I
laughed at him very long but he told me that he will
make fool of Deepak if I help him, I was also
excited then we started chatting with him, Deepak
was behaving as I had expected, a gentle fellow
with no interest towards study though he studied
for very long, I lost my control & typed Beta jyada
padhai achhi nhi lagti, achha beta aaj raat batata
hun….. He typed, Who are you? Aren’t you shweta?,
I again typed Beta Yamraaj => Jay, this made
Deepak embarrassed even that whole night I done
a lot of mockery on him, but later to make him
normal, I took him for a drive…. Then at night, we
saw Shawshank Redemption on laptop at OAT that
night. Ya we hostelites are very crazy about movies,
games, serials a lot…. ”

Yaadi,” Really yaar, Hostelites Zindabaad!! Hostel
gave you all which you always wanted of, I consider
all those girls very lucky about whom you gossip for
very long even one fourth of your day without
expecting anything from them, They always remain
unaware of your love, Love that no one can match.”

Jay,” Ya but it’s not their mistake, It’s our as we
never talk to them straight, we always wait for right
moment which never comes & at last we lose, What
if you are straight forward, simply there will be two
outcomes one your proposal will be going to
accept or your facebook id will be going to block
forever, Not a bad deal it sounds but It is a bad
deal, no matter what it sounds, It is simple to reject
someone’s heart but just ask the person who is on
the losing side, He or She will tell you the pain of
rejection….”

Yaadi,” Bhai, I’m totally confused, Please make it
clear, some times you are saying something &
some times something other……”

Jay,”If you aren’t getting it then it is better, It
hurts a lot when you at night dreams of something
that you are going to do tomorrow, you prepare a
complete plan for the next day by giving your best
to make that day remarkable & when next day you
leave your home & find that the reason for which
you have been planning, has left your way by
letting you alone, forever”

Yaadi,” Yaar when one gets rejected, It simply
means the thing for which he was aspiring for is
inferior than the thing waiting for him, Always
there is God’s will behind every step you step
forward……….”

Jay,” I know, But the difficulty lies in, How to
make it clear to yourself, when after spending so
much time in light you are sent to face dark……..”

Yaadi,” Leave it yaar, Time is running fast, You go
back to the journey, Rest leave on that cigarette &
God……”

Jay,” Ya, Sure…… It was the time for Inter
College Sports Tounament, taking place at DELHI
TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY (DTU), Every sports
lover was very excited, I was too as Drishti was
going to represent our college’s candidate for
Badminton Match, Ankit was in cricket team & I
was in football team, Deepak was busy in some
project at AIT that’s why I was feeling little bit
uncomfortable as he used to busy Ankit by letting
me to spend time with her……. But after a long, I
was going to play a Football match, It filled me with
joy a lot & made me forget to think about my heart,
My first look at DTU, made me its fan, It is the
campus with every thing planned, it’s building
structure makes you feel like you are in
wonderland, Even students there are much cooler
than that of AIT, as instead of paying attention on
quantity, they focus on quality. However I knew, I
was going to make it for AIT & I did, by snatching
the football cup from DTU with score of 5-1, But
Drishti & Ankit didn’t make it for us. Now it was
time to return back to AIT, when we were
returning, Ankit boarded in another Bus, It means
me & Drishti were alone, I was going to propose
her, & in bus conversation went as :

Jay,”Hey!, Drishti don’t feel sad, Next time you
are