feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

very
softly, it burns to tackle your pain, some hardkissers
complete up its length in few minutes, Some
swift-kissers take their time they make smoke to
exit out in circles, In engineering or in this life, we
pass through very situations when we are all alone,
there is no one for caring us, we kisses it & being a
very true partner it plays its role, it will never leave
you till death, though you may betray her , It’s true
that it will take your life, it will exponentially
subtract seconds from your life, & ya it should be,
it’s we are who, who choose her, but what’s our
fault, We have no such true loving partner like her,
I am a smoker, No it’s wrong to say, the correct
should be like, My girl friend name is ‘CIGARETTE’,
It is simple she loves me & I love her, The only thing
I need from her is Love……

The way he defined the ‘cigarette’ by giving so
much emphasize to word ‘LOVE’, made me mad,
without wasting even a single second, a kissed her
for the very first time, it was very amazing feeling,
initially I was inexperienced, I choked my throat,
But later it was so simple & easy, Even this feeling
urged me to kiss at least a cigarette every day, I just
thanked that senior, realizing that once he might
have gone through the same world, which I had …..
I took my keys back & drove straight to the hostel….

On the very next morning, I woke up early, I
dressed well, you can say it for Drishti, Along with
Ankit & Deepak, I left for Breakfast, Milk was very
cold, Bread was half-baked, no clue of salt, But still
it was tasting excellent in company of friends,
Deepak took way for ME block & Ankit & I,
diverted towards ECE block, First 2 lectures were
very boring, 1st of thermodynamics, 2nd of
chemistry, 3rd one of Information Technology
whose teacher had expelled me from last class
asked for assignment, I was guillotined again, Even
Drishti after spending a lot of time with me last
day, had made it complete, these girls can do
everything, it is always we boys who suffer, As a
consequence, I was expelled again……………

This thing went for the whole semester, I was
continuously expelled by one or other professor, in
crime of incomplete assignment, asking questions,
staring outside window or staring at someone,
coming late… I was just remembering my schooldays,
I had never expelled from the class for such
reasons, Engineering classes instead of teaching
technology, teaches you the discipline & rules &
regulation most, However I was trying to tackle
them all with one cigarette at night about 12:30
a.m. at hostel terrace secretly, But in this there was
a sort of enjoyment, As it made me happy to do my
work in my own ways, I hardly completed any
project, even my Physics, Chemistry practical files
were completely red, Just because I hadn’t shown
x,y axis in graph or I forgot to mention date of
experiment, Why they don’t give so much
importance to experiment instead of giving it to
file, They hardly teach anything & expect us to give
them answers which they like, Even if one dares to
give them some correct explanation, his marks gets
subtracted for giving extra-explanation, may be
this sort of behavior makes you independent, you
now start study by your own, may be this is what
Engineering makes us, self-dependent………………

The first semester was coming to an end, what I just
know was my subject names, how to make file, how
to behave during viva time, how to Octorate
assignments, how to beg for short attendance, what
the word mass-bunk makes you feel, even TOPA
Technology which we adopt to make engineering
sheets in just 25 minutes, not a bad deal it sounds….

Only 1 week was left for our end semester
examination, Deepak was studying as if he got less
than 9 pointer, he would be buried alive straight
100 feet deep, Ankit was a cool fellow, he hardly
took any tension, he used to study for very short, he
was clever too, instead of going through the
complete syllabus, he prefer to study selectively….

I was not giving any importance to exam, as the
subject I had read were PCM, with proper reasons
& concepts but in Engineering, there was no scope
for concept, If there was some then in front of the
vast syllabus it was small, There were things you
can’t understand, if you tried it would take a
complete day of yours, so we prefer to leave it, It
was just mixed, So instead of reading those books, I
used to go through yet another book, Facebook,
During that time, There was not even a single status
from any student, It was looking like all AIT
students had deactivated their accounts for that
exams period, It was around 2:00 a.m. Still, all the
hostel lights were on, everyone was focusing on
their studies, No one was looking outside there at
campus, all were there in their hostel-rooms, I took
my laptop & went to terrace, I first completed my
cigarette & with the help of binoculars, I focused it
to Drishti’s room, she was doing something on her
laptop, I was a regular visitor of her facebook id
(with A Cute Girl’s Image at her profile picture
column), But you know girls, they almost hide
everything except their profile picture, which you
can’t click, their college name, their current city &
a one line sentence describing themselves……. I
gathered strength & I sent her request, about 4
months after our first meeting, & suddenly It got
accepted, Oh My God, I again focused the
binoculars, she might be using Facebook on her
Laptop, She was online, ….. Before I could type
anything, a chat column appears, showing Drishti
Gupta at top………

Drishti,” Hi :-)”

Jay,” Hi smile emoticon smile emoticon ”

Drishti,” Howz ur preparation ?”

Jay,” Just thinking about, when should I start ?”

Drishti,” Wht r u saying??? U hvn’t started ?”

Jay,” I don’t know about our syllabus…..”

Drishti,” Oh freak! Get it from Ankit, I had sent
him…. He is also online……..”

Jay,” O.K., I’ll take, & u needn’t worry he is my roomy……”

Drishti,” Wht, he never told me about you……”

I was just shocked, might be Ankit was a boy who
hardly liked to talk about the things which are not
relevant to him at a particular time…….

Jay,” May be you haven’t asked him….. So you
both are just friends or …………”

( Just to clear my doubt, was something going
between them……. )

Drishti, “ R u mad ???? What else can you think
except friends………”

Jay (Changing the track),” No, I just want to
know that you both are from same city, same school
(‪#‎Sanskriti_Public_school‬), You may know each
other very well…….. ”

Drishti,” So, How do you know about my school ??
Do you talk about me with Ankit ??? ”

Jay,” No… No…. No….. I never talked about you
with anyone, I just read your school-name, there at
your profile……… & neither Ankit had ever talked
about you with me, So tell howz ur preparation ???????? ”

Drishti,” Just today I have completed ………. Now
revising…….”

Jay,” Completed what…..????”

Drishti,” Obviously yaar, Syllabus…….”

Jay,” Compete Syllabus….. ???”

Drishti,” Haan, Yaar…. Tera bhi ho jayega, Tension
na le……”

How fast these girls are, I don’t know syllabus & she
had completed it with one week in hand, Kitna
padhti hain ye……….

Jay,” Ek baat bolu………”

Drishti,” Bol na, Bindass……..”

Jay,” Thanks……”

Drishti,” Bas……. Haha… Ab ye bhi bta de, ki kis
liye…….? :-)”

Jay,” For giving me that day, It was the day for
which I was living for…… Thanks again…..”

Drishti,” Hey! Hey! Hey!, Why are you so formal….
Yaar, it was not only you who enjoyed, I too was on
the same train…… I hv to say thnk to u……..”

Jay,” Achha ek baat aur bolu…….. Nhi balki ek
sach aur bolu……….”

Drishti,” Sach me ab thappad maar dungi, jo bolna
hai seedhey bol……… Dubara permission maangi to
aagey k daant nhi rahengeiy…….”

 

Jay,” Us din se pehley, itna khush apney aap ko
pehleiy mainey kabhi nhi dekha tha, main nhi
jaanta vo kya tha, par vo jo kuch bhi tha, mai usiey
vaisey hi chahunga,………. Kya kisi ki nazriey
dekhney k baad koi so nhi sakta, kya kisi ki ek
musqaan tumhariey saariey zakhmo par marhum
lagaa sakti hai……….. Jo mainey feel kiya, vo bayaan
kiya hai & one truth more, You are so beautiful…….”

I typed all this and pressed enter, I was very afraid,
Quickly I logged-out, as I had no strength to face
her…. I was focusing using binoculars, She was
sitting on the chair & Now, she was reading what I
typed, She smiled, Ya she smiled…….

She went to her bed along with laptop, there was a
smile on her face, a smile for which I started living
for, Now she was typing, without making that smile
to fade out, I again logged-in, seeing that she was
happy too………There was a message, & she had offlined………

Drishti,” Oh, My goodness, Yaar tu vaisa nhi hai
jaisa maine socha tha, ek rich boy jo bas apni lifestyle
se pareshaan hai, jiskey apniey koi emotions
nhi hain, But yaar you are completely different as
equally as you look different, & yaar you writes like
a poet, lines full of love & sentiments, Tu itna hi
chahta hai na ki koi tere saath time spend kariey,
Yaar fir ye dost kab kaam aayegi, & one thing more
I also likes your company, Tension na le exam over
ho jaane de, fir kahin ghumney chalengey…………..
Chal ab soja…..
Gud Nyt…… Take car…… Sweet dreams…….. smile emoticon :-)”

Was I dreaming….. No, It was reality, I could feel 12
degree Celsius temperature at hostel terrace, She
was preparing for sleep, but I couldn’t, I just laid
down, there at hostel terrace, staring continuously
at her, that whole complete night…………
With this Jay throws the 5th bud & makes
himself ready for 6th one………..

Chapter 6

 

‪#‎chap_6‬

Mayur Vihar, Delhi……….
12 Oct, 2014 ; 11:00 p.m..

Yaadi,” This is not fair Friend, You were too busy
with the last cigarette, even you didn’t allow me to
speak…..”

Jay,” Sorry Dear, I got just little bit deep, Again
sorry for that…….. After all I was passing through
two things simultaneously, One is this cigarette &
second one is Drishti……..”
Yaadi,” Oh! This was how your first complete
introduction went with your lovely cigarette &
Drishti……. So what next was waiting for you….”

Jay,” Ya, it was surely a good night for me, but
that night gifted me a high fever in return, But it
was a fair deal to me, I also started studying with
Ankit, though it was boring but I had no options, I
downloaded some guitar tutorials & started
practicing them at night, with same venue : Hostel
Terrace + Binoculars, as after exams I wanted to
present a song to Drishti, I was learning guitar very
fast, faster than Electrical subject, Guitar makes you
feel like you are the one whom this world
demanding for, My binoculars gifted me Drishti’s
daily routine, her each & every moment I was living
too……..”

Yaadi,” Great yaar, Agar binoculars ki discovery hui
nhi hoti, to tu zaruur kar deta……… ”

Jay,” Hahaha….. Now it was the time for exams,
one by one without any break, each day I found
myself to be cut in several pieces, even I was trying
to collect just 40 marks, to make the subjects clear,
It was just set pattern, some derivations, numerical
with invalid data, theoretical portion like we were
studying History etc, Just opposite to what we
studied in 11th & 12th, If you are ‘Born-Engineer’
then & only then, you can cope up with such
papers, At the end of that week, like an eclipse for
me, I was nearly died & even this was not over, it
was again time for practicals, where the worst part I
felt was viva, they never taught like they took viva,
they asked questions like they had taught you
everything, every aspect of that subject…… I tried
but I surrendered in front of their questions, With
each practical ending there, I was feeling the ray of
hope Octlaring the end of first semester, with
complete freedom…………”
Yaadi,” Ya, I know how it feels, after spending
weeks like this, you find