feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

Mayur Vihar, Delhi……….
13 Oct, 2014 ; 12:00a.m..

Yaadi,” Hey buddy, My Rockstar, Leave it Yaar, So
tell me, How did you feel on returning to that
graveyard haan… ??”

Yaadi,” Speak Bro, otherwise I’ll not talk to you…..”

Jay,” I’m just coming, Please wait for me…..”

Jay again opens his laptop, He updates a status
at facebook……

‘ I’m going to marry tonight…. ‘

Like this status will help him to console himself……
He finds himself completely fine, after updating
that ‘sentence’, He goes back to Yaadi & continues
the conversation…….

Jay,” Ya, I drove back straight to backyard
again, But this time there were several changes, My
father had became even more busy, My mom was
at some tour since last week, There were some new
faces in servants, I was feeling very pathetic that
night, Hostel terrace had made me habitual of
open space at top of a building from where
everything looks calm & clear, I went to my terrace
put fire on wooden pieces & started taking revenge
with guitar, I practiced very hard in order to prove
myself to her, But next morning was little different,
My status at end of sem had made all my school
friends aware of the fact that I was currently in
Lucknow, They in a group came to my house with
various gifts, enjoying my return back, But what I
never expected was, among them there was one
old face, It was Digvijay, with a pen as Gift to me, I
behaved normally as I used to behave with them &
him too, but this time I didn’t give him any
importance, Mentally I was feeling very relaxed
now but my heart was not supporting mental state,
However along with friends you can have reasons
to avoid your heart, We all gossiped about the
changes in ourselves, in our life-styles, about
engineering colleges, that we were all
experiencing, We met teachers whose role was
very crucial in building the foundation for us, we
were looking each other & remembering about the
school days, Meena, Radhika, Sneha, Srishti all
were completely changed, some with medical
colleges & some with B.Sc courses, all were looking
very beautiful with different hair-styles, but not
beautiful than Drishti (Thinking to myself), Then we
went to play Golf, at my Dad’s farm House, We
enjoyed & this went continuously for one week,
During day-time friends company filled the void of
my heart, but at late-night, I needed her company,
Even she hadn’t used facebook since a long, Last
time she had used was at AIT, One day, I logged in
as usual to visit her profile, She uploaded some pics
( Pics of our last trip with me & Ankit, Drishti) the
same day, means she had used facebook that day,
but there was no message in my inbox, But ya, in
notifications she tagged me in those images, It was
about 1:00 a.m., She came online……. I didn’t type
anything but I eagerly waiting for her message…. As
I expected……”

Drishti,” Hi, Chiku…… ”

( Why this girls use Chiku, Chiku is like sweet for
them or Jay makes them angry……)

Jay,” Hi, But aaj muje kaisey yaad kar liya, haan?
Aur ye Chiku kya laga rakha hai…….”

Drishti,” Ariey le le le, mera baabu mujhse naaraaz
hai, Mai kya ek dost honeiy k naateiy koi nick-name
nhi de sakti……..”

Her way of speaking, always makes me her fan, I
spit my anger within seconds & In fact, I can’t treat
her rudely any long, at any cost……

Jay,” Yaar Nhi bas, Kisi k intzaar me ye palkeiy
thak gain thi, is nadaan ko abhi ruthna sahi se nhi
aata, ye maasuum is dil ki sun khud ko kaed kar
baithta hai……… ”

Drishti,” Hmmmm………. Yaar raat ko tujhey kya ho
jaata hai, din bhar tu normal rehta hai, aur raat ko
ek saath shayar ban jaata hai…. Kya baat hai, hum
bhi to jaanein……”

Jay,” Is sawaal ka jawaab to mai bhi dhundh rha
hun, shayad ho sakta hai, raat me mai apne dimaag
kin hi dil ki sunta hun…….”

Drishti,” Is dil ki baat ham bhi to jaaneiy ye kya
kehna chahta hai……..”

Jay,”To theek hai, mai koshish karta hun……

Lamhe ko tairti hui kashti me musqurate hue dekha,
Kal kuch paa lene ki aas ko sapno me yun sawarte
hue dekha....
Kuch sach ye dil haqikat bayaan kar dene ki chahat
rakhta hai,
Bas jab se us chehre par khilti hui hasi ko
dekha........”

Drishti,” Nice lines ….. Yaar….. Tere saath jo bhi
rahegi hamesha Khush Rahegi, you are a nice guy,
even best when it comes to heart……. Pta nhi vo
kismat waali kaun hogi….. ”

( Are these girls completely mad? I’m dedicating to
her & she can’t see my love for her, She is replying
like I’m interested in one of her friend, instead of
her…. God knows what these girls are, impossible
for me to define , Even you don’t try, you will also
remain unanswered……….)

Her reply confused me, Now, I couldn’t be more
straight forward than I was. I just typed….

Jay,” Arie yaar itne din se kahaan thi, koi
message to kar sakti thi……….”

Drishti,” Sorry…. Very very Sorry for that, I was on
trip with my family, Goa, & you know Ankit’s family
too have joined us, His father & my father are
business partners, He is a very cool guy, He dances
like my favorite M.J., even he taught me M.J.’s
signature step, You know, we played volley-ball at
beach, it was just excellent tour……. I wish, you
would have joined us, then it would be……..”

I was just shattered into pieces, I had no words to
type, Even it became impossible for me to say Gud
Nyt to her, I tried my best to manage……..

Jay,” Yaar need bahut aa rahi hai, Chal soney jaa
raha hun, Gud Nyt……..”

Drishti,” O.K. Gud Nyt, Sweet dreams…:-) :-)… Take
care…… ……”

I made myself offline, though I didn’t logged it out,
I said to her that I’m going to sleep, But reality was
that I couldn’t sleep, even at about 3:00 a.m. all
went for sleep, My chat box was showing only two
persons online & as I expected, they were Ankit &
Drishti, My whole facebook friends who were never
my friends were sleeping & my best friends were
still their giving the company, not to me but to
each other…….

Yaadi,” Yaar hAd hoti hai, tunhe bhi dil diya to
kise, tu yahaan in lakkdiyoein k saath jal rha tha
aur vo vahan Volleyball enjoy kar rahe the,
tujhe guitar sikhaane ki jagah khud Dance seekh
rahi hai……… Mujhse aankhein mila, Yaar apne
chehre ko dekh jitna tu us par nhi marta utna tujh
par kitni ladkiyaan fidaa hoti hongi, is baat ka
andaaza hai tujhe…….. Yaar tujhe khud ko pyaar
karna chahiye tha na ki use, jise teri har baat sirf
ek baat hi lagti thi……..”

Jay,” Tu bilkul bachha hai, kaafi nadaan aur
nasamajh hai, Yaar agar ye Ishq karna apney bus me
hi hota na, fir ye aashiqui nhi hoti, ye sirfira pan nhi
hota, koi zidd nhi hoti, jeeney ki wajah nhi hoti, Dil
sirf jeeney k liye dhadhkata, saans kuch mehsuus
nhi kiya kar sakti………….. Yaar, Kaash kisi tutteiy
hue taareiy se uska saath maanga hota, Kaash kisi
mandir-masjid par uske saath saat janmo tk jeeney
k waadiey kiye hoteiy…. Kaash………”

Yaadi,” Hey, don’t regret, if you believe in God,
then believe everything gonna be alright…….”

Jay,” No, Nothing can be alright, Time has done
its work, All I & you can do is live till last breathe… ”

Yaadi,” Then Buddy, why aren’t you enjoying your
girl-friend (cigarette) in hand, She is all yours……
Leave Drishti…. Yaar……. & Continue the journey,
Complete it in time …….”

Jay by his own last sentence provides himself
consolation, He is well set to witness his day, His
birthday, Ya it’s 13,Octember,2014…. Jay &
Yaadi’s Birthday, Jay closes the copy by putting
a pen in between those pages, he was on, he goes
to kitchen & brings a cake piece, & starts
celebrating his birthday…….

Jay,” Happy Birthday To You, Yaadi…… Happy
Birthday To You………….”

Yaadi,” Happy Birthday To You, Jay……. Happy
Birthday To You…………..”

Jay starts dancing, He is praying in front of his
mother’s photo with flowers all around, symbolizing
that she is no more, He is thanking her for giving
him birth, He is sending a message to his father,”
Love u Dad, Missing you now………”, He is again
dancing, enjoying that cake piece, He again takes
his position in front of mirror & starts the journey
again………

Jay,” Yaadi, where were we ???”

Yaadi,” Your vacations were about to finish, & now
you knew How to play guitar, even much better
than her, as you had practiced a lot…….”

Jay,” Ya, O.K., I got it, With 2nd sem, I
determined myself that I’ll make her fall in my love,
I’ll try my best to show how much I love her, But the
first thing I had to make sure was, whether my
roomy Ankit loved her or not, It was the first day of
second sem at Hostel, Deepak was this time little
bit fat, as he had ejoyed his vacations a lot, Ankit
was with a completely different looks, unlike that
of 1st sem, might be it was Goa’s air, We exchanged
a lot of chats that night, even Deepak told us about
a girl with whom he was in secret relationship from
class 10th, we were very frank this time, you can call
The hostel Life was just begun for us right from the
second sem, I indirectly asked questions to Ankit
just to check he loves her or not, But to my surprise
he strictly refused to love her, In straight voice he
told me that they were just friends from school and
nothing more, moreover he told me about the girl
in our class Harshita Negi, whom he liked, clearing
the way for me, How wrong I was about Drishti….. I
hurriedly took my binoculars & went to terrace to
get a glimpse of her, That night I didn’t smoke, I
made a promise to myself if Drishti will accept my
Love, I will never smoke…… She had already gone
for sleep, but now I was desperately waiting for the
next morning to come, During class time, I grasped
the seat behind her & after lunch she was sitting
just next to me, I reminded her about the promise
of teaching me the guitar, She asked me to come
with guitar at 7:00 p.m. at OAT, I was there at sharp
6:55 p.m., waiting for her with Uncle-Chips & coke,
She was 5 minutes late but she was with her guitar,
She started teaching me, I was behaving as I was a
duffer when it comes to learn guitar, so that she
could spend more time with me, though now I
could play it more sexier than her, this went for
about 1 month, everything was going on my way, I
was leaving my impressions on her, even we started
conversation on phone for very long, Not only
guitar but now subjects like C,C++, Engineering
materials etc she used to teach me, approximately
12 hours a day we used to spend together, &
remaining hours, I used to spend with her too at
night at terrace, My continuous love for terrace
made Deepak aware about what was going with my
heart, He once asked me how much I love her, I just
replied,” If you want, you can check it by marking a
cut to my heart, all you will find is her name, It will
be a sum of Chiku+Drishti (C+D)……., She is vision
to me……”Further, I asked him to let it secret
between him & me, So that, I could propose her,
when right time came….. Now life was going my
way, Even now when you have a sweet caring
partner like her engineering can’t make you feel
burdened, Even her love made me to betray my
soul-mate (Cigarette), even the whole semester, I
didn’t smoke, as usual it was time for end of 2nd
sem, Again the exams created the gap between us,
She hardly came out of her room, Again I had to
take aid from cigarette, But one thing good was,
About 1:00 she always came online for half an
hour…….

Jay,” Hi, ….. Looking so busy…… ”

Drishti,” Ya, little bit I hvn’t revised my syllabus…..”

Jay,” You hv once completed then y r u so
taking so much tension…..”

Drishti,” Sorry, but It’s in my blood to take
everything seriously………”

Jay,” Ya, you take everything seriously but not
everyone, Right ?”

Drishti,” What do you mean to say, haan?”

Jay,” Just leave it, it has nothing to do with your
exams, Study hard as you studied for 1st sem, I’ll
pray for you…. ”…..”

Drishti,” Now, y r u changing the topic??? Haann…
What do you mean by word ‘everyone’…….”

Jay,” Look, there is something above than the
word friendship……..”

Drishti,” Then I don’t want to know about it, all I
need is my best buddy, “Jay”