feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

Drishti,” I’m not getting you, Do you love someone?
It is looking like there is someone special, who you
are missing……”

Thank God, atleast she reached to my heart, what
my heart was feeling for her……..

Jay,” Ya, I was going to propose her but she
proposed someone else, She thinks that she doesn’t
feel love with me…….”

Drishti,”Oh, So sad, So tell me is she from school or
college? May be I can help you…..”

Jay,” School or college doesn’t matter, what
matters is Heart & love, She should feel my love in
her heart like my heart feels for her……….”

Drishti,” So romantic, yaar. She is a lucky girl, she is
just unaware of your love for her, when she will get
to know about how much you love her, she will tie
her soul in knot with yours forever…….”

Jay,”I don’t know when she will get to realize
about it, but one thing is for sure I’ll love her till
death, I’ll wait for her forever. It is simply because
love need not to be defined it simply exists
everywhere forever…….”

Drishti,” I wish Ankit also loves me like the way you
love her………”

Jay,” He will but not more than I can…….”

Drishti,” What do you mean by that, haan? What
would you do, if you were in place of Ankit………”

Oh! Damn….. My heart beats stopped for a moment
I had waited a lot for the day, the day I’ll show her
my love but it didn’t come, But now she had given
me an opportunity to full-fill my wish, I was ready
for it since I saw her first time, I typed…….

Jay,” I’m not so lucky like him…. But let me try…
If I was in place of Ankit then, ( Jay uses Hindi
whenever he needs to express his feelings from the
core of his heart) …………………………………………….

Teri sirf ek hasi ki jhalak paaney k liye ye jaan nisaar
kar deta, Teri in palko me saari jindagi guzaar deta,
Tu zra ruth jaati to is gagan ko tereiy kadmo tak
jhuka deta, Teri julfo k saaye me kitne janam bita
deta, Tereiy har khwaab ko hakikat kar saku itni roz
dua maang leta, Tu sun le sda….. sun le sda…………..

Vo rah jo tera pta na batati usiey tujh tak mod deta,
Vo ashk jo teri palko se nikateiy unhey mai pee jata,
Tere pyaar k liye khud ko Bekaraar Baar Baar Karta
hun, Kyonki pyaar sirf tumse, pyaar sirf tumse, pyaar
karta hun………. ”

Drishti,” Hey, Jay! Please stop…. Please stop…
No one can love like the way you describing………
Please say it is completely fake, No one can love so
madly, It’s fake…. Say na…. Say, it is fake………………”

I was not seeing what she was typing as for the first
time, I had to show my LOVE, LOVE without which I
had spent first 2 Octades of my life, I went on
typing & in emotions I was typing not as Ankit but
as Jay, who just wants to show her his love not as
Ankit’s love…….

Jay,” Mai uski khushi k liye har pal is khuda ko
ada karta hun, Apni nazroien se hale-e-dil bayaan
karta hun, Dil ki dhadhkan ko uski yaad me kurbaan
karta hun, Uski parchaayi paa saku itni guzaarish
baar baar karta hun, Ye dil tujhko kabhi na bhula
paayega, Kya tuu laut k aayega?? Teriey aaneiy ka
mai sda intzaar karta hun, Baar Baar khud ko
bekaraar karta hun kyonki pyaar sirf tum se pyaar
sirf tum se pyaar karta hun………….

Ek sach aaj is dil ki hakikat bayaan kar dena chahta
hai, Tera chehra hi hai jiski muraad k saath ye
parinda sda udna chahta hai, Tere saath na paakar
ye khud ko khud se aazaad kar lena chahta hai,
kyonki ye maut bhi tere jaisy haseen chahta hai… ”

Drishti,” Please stop, I don’t know why, but it is
hurting me, hurting a lot as I have lost something,
something which a girl dreams of through out her
life, Please Stop, I can’t tolerate it any more, your
words are piercing my heart like an arrow, Please
forgive me. Bye, I can’t carry on this conversation.. ”
She then went off-line, I was just started to explore
my love, but she didn’t bear that pain with which I
was living for last 20 years, One thing was very
good for me that my words were appealing her,
though she was running away from them………………

Yaadi,” Kya Baat hai, tujhey us raat ho kya gya tha,
itni gehri baatein shayad ek sachha aashique hi kar
sakta hai, Kya Baat……..”

Jay,” Bhai ye hi to mai tujhey samjhaana chahta
hun ki, vo mera pyaar hi nhi sab kuch thi………………”

Yaadi,” Koi baat nhi, Chal bta fir kya hua ??”

Jay,” Then after that night she never came
online, might be my words made her aware about
my love for her. Equally, I didn’t try to call her or
reach her as I wanted to give her time to take
correct Octision in choice between me & Ankit.
Then, it was time to reach college again for 6th
semester but unlike every time, this time my
mother packed my things, she baked food for me
by her own hands, she gifted me a lot of things, she
was kissing my hands, I didn’t know what made her
love me after 20 years so passionately. But I didn’t
forgive her, without saying even Bye, I left for my
hostel….. I was just driving to the hostel via OAT,
where Ankit & Drishti were having fun, they were
playing chess not by looking into the chess board
but by looking into each other eyes. After reaching
hostel, Deepak told me that I should forget about
her as they had arrived 4 days before for having
fun, he even told me that they were behaving like
married couple. But I had already taken an oath to
show her my love, I Octided to make her fall in my
love, that complete night I didn’t sleep even my
eyes also supporting me & supporting binoculars
too. From the next day, I was on my mission, Only
thing I wanted was her to be alone for sometime, I
made Ankit busy in Robot designing Classess from
7:00 to 8:00 p.m., I then started playing Bad-
Minton with her & during that hour I used to flirt
with her directly, though she refused to share our
chocolate anymore, but still there was something in
my regular words to her which always compelled
her to come for Bad-Minton with me, My lines from
my heart always hurted her at the last of that hour
but the love asscociated with those words made her
come to bear that pain again & again, everyday.
Even there was reaction of those words on her, as
she started asking Ankit to dedicate some lines to
her like the way I used to did but I know Ankit can’t
match me in that, I didn’t know what happened to
me I was betraying my room-mate Ankit each day,
Even one day when he was ill, I asked Drishti to
come with me for a local trip, again to Delhi with
Ankit but when she came I told her that he was not
feeling well & asked her to come with me, in such a
poetic manner to which she couldn’t deny, this time
not in car, but on my Apache, I kicked it furiously
but this time she didn’t afraid of it, neither she was
holding my shoulder. I drove straight to the Lotus
temple, in start I was not flirting with her, we both
were just enjoying like we used to, then we went
for lunch nearby Red Fort, then I Octided to show
her my love, I asked her to dance with me but I
didn’t know what made her ready to accept my
proposal, I drove to that Dublin club, we danced a
lot, sometimes very fast & sometimes very slowly,
my hands along her waist & her hands on my
shoulders with 200% eye contact for very long, we
were not using our mouths but we were talking a
lot with our eyes, I was like begging for my love to
her & she was just forgiving me every time.
Suddenly she broke dancing & went outside, I
followed her & then we started walking with her
hand in my hand, Still there was not even a single
word between us, That silence meant a lot for both
us but couldn’t last for a long, as suddenly she
broke the silence…….

Drishti,” So you love someone, haan?”

(I didn’t want to answer her, I was feeling like a
beggar asking for love……)

Jay,”God knows…….”

Drishti,” Can’t you be straight forward with me,
haan? You know, you have hurted me a lot….. So
tell, you love someone or me, haan?”

Jay,” When you have the answer then what is
the basis for asking this question?”

Drishti,”No, Jay It’s not the way you should treat
others, you think everyone here, is God who can
read your heart. No, Bloody! There should be some
proper way of expressing your feeling to someone,
you can’t expect someone to read your heart &
then take Octision. We should explore ourselves to
others in the way we want the other to react. You
think I love your company, No, I like your company
but I would have loved it if you had told me earlier
that you provide your company for loving me. Now,
nothing can be changed…… I am with Ankit & this
is something that no one can change & no one
wants to change………… You have made it complex
too, why you come to me, haan? Why did you love
me, when I never loved you in return? How can you
love me like this even knowing that I’m with Ankit,
haan Speak Jay, Speak………. ( Then she went
mad, started crying & shouting at me)

Who are you to me? Why I enjoy my life with you?
Why my eyes want to see you? Why I feel like I
need nothing from my life, only I need is you? Why
your words are so compelling, full of Love always?
Who teaches you to love like this? How can one
love like you? Tell Haan, Speak……………….

She was becoming restless, she started slapping
me, slapping for a long… There was love, love that I
wanted from my life, She was slapping & slapping..
I was continuously smiling, with her every slap, my
smile becoming broader as with every slap the
intensity of love for me was increasing… She
shouted…..
Answer me…… Answer me…… ”

Jay,” Just listen me, First stop crying & listen me,
Just listen very carefully what I’m telling you & then
rest is your choice…... I’m a 21 year old boy, I have
spent my first 18 years just devoid of Love, I never
loved by anyone, even my father, mother or friends,
no one loved me, I was all alone. I didn’t know what
this Love is all about & then one girl came to my
Life. She spended time with me without knowing
me. She used to like the way I live, neither my
money nor articles. She shared a lot of moments
with me, she laughed with me & cried with me too.
Then I started giving back her the same which she
had gifted me directly or indirectly, Love. It was the
first time for me to go for Love & then it happened,
The thing you go for first time after waiting for so
long like 18 years, you know its cost very well like I
knew. I Octided to give my every thing even my
breathe, just to get her smile forever. It is very
simple, Love needs not to be defined, It simply
exists only thing we have to find is ourselves. It is
always open to us but we are not open to it, those
who are open to it know it like I do, but those who
don’t want Love to explore to them & just enjoy
life, always remain closed to it like you did. But
Now,I know that you have opened yourself to it,
then be relaxed I’ll make everything fine, because I
love you, Ariey ab to muskuraa do baba, meri
jaanu…… Kya gaakar sunana padega, O.K. theek
hai, ye bhi sahi………

Tereiy aaney ka sda intzaar karta hun, Mai to Khud
ko Bekaraar baar baar karta hun, Pyaar sirf tumse,
Pyaar sirf tumse, Pyaar karta hun………”

Suddenly she came very close to me, like once I was
very close to her in Girl’s hostel, But I didn’t expect
her to…… She kissed me, Ya.. You know Yaadi, She
passionately kissed me & I couldn’t control myself
& I joined her too, this went for about 60-70
seconds, then I broke it but still she didn’t want it
to. Without saying anything to her, I took out my
Apache & kicked it, she came & took back seat.
There