feelings for her by Vishal Singh (books to get back into reading .txt) 📕

God…. The Doctor explained that my
continous love towards smoking 12 cigarettes a day
is responsible for this, He called it gift because the
patient of the Blood Cancer knows his time of
Death. He further warned me that if I leave
smoking then I may live 2 or more years but if I
didn’t leave it then I will die within this year…. Did
you listen, Yaadi I’ll die……..”

Yaadi,” Bhai, Tell me the truth, are you afraid of
Death, Haan???”

Jay,” No, Never….. I just wanted some more
time to spend with Dhanush but I can’t betray this
time with my cigarette for love anymore… I
Octided to love my soul-mate cigarette as she was
the one who was very truthful to me from the very
start as she was hugging me with every sip I was
taking. I told Saumya that I want to spend this year
alone without telling anyone about my disease, I
took this flat with no. 13-m here in Mayur Vihar & a
new pulsar 180cc to forget about the memories
associated with my Apache. Now, it was the time to
just love only two things Life & her (cigarette), I
started visiting orphanages where the young
children living without their parents, in very poor
condition….. They have very less to wear, very less
to eat, drink, in unhygienic conditions, with no
dreams, no scope of study for them, just devoid of
the world from which I had come…. But they have
one thing in excess ie-LOVE, they love each other
more than as in family we do… The best part about
them is, they never complaint to anyone, they are
always happy with their life, This is the basic funda
that one needs to live his life happily which I found
when I don’t have anymore time left. Now, it made
me happy to eat with them, to play with them….. It
was my daily routine to spend time at orphanage, in
visiting various places like my mother used to visit,
Now I could feel her position, when you know your
death’s arrival, it becomes impossible for you to
love others like I finds difficulty in loving Dhanush
& Saumya’s voice. Only thing I could do was just to
love my life… After spending time like this, at night
I used to join Darpan & my son Dhanush, after
enjoying with them I returned back to this room &
started loving my cigarette, my guitar & sometimes
Drishti in my heart…I have prepared a will
Octlaring half of my property in name of Darpan
Band & remaining half to those who need a lot like
orphanages & schools running on trusts.... Oh what
a wonderful day it was, 12 Oct, 2014… I took a
quick shower at about 4:00 a.m. & then raced the
pulsar throughout the various places in Lucknow
& Delhi…. Visiting AIT after a long, refilled me with
my love, I made telephone call to all one by one,
Digvijay, Ankit, Deepak, Sneha, Radhika, Nishant.. a
lot….I was just recollecting all my moments that I
had lived in my whole life whether at terraces or
football ground, wether at AIT or Jaypee Pvt. Ltd.
Whether with Darpan or Drishti….. It was the
complete day of my life, before joining you… I’m
talking to you from last 6 months & in those months
you have made me to fall in your love like you make
every one to fall, Yaadi…

Yaadi,” Bro, I’m in love with you too….. Say what
ever is in your heart, Complete it today…….”

Jay,” Bhai, Thanks for being with me……”
Yaadi,” I’m equally thankful to you… Now, I allow
you to go & love her, your 13th one…”

Jay,”I’m going but, I want to accept something.”
Yaadi,” Ya speak….”

Jay,” I love her, I love Drishti…… Bhai, whoever I
have loved is not with me……”

Yaadi,” Bhai, It’s not ture everyone has equally
loved you as well though it was never open….. Bhai,
Now Marry with your soul-mate……”

Jay,” Ya, I’m going to marry her (cigarette), At
least one thing is very clear, She replies me back
more I love her, more it takes me near to her iedeath,
I’m feeling joy of love in dying because of
her, my true lover. I could feel her pain in ash which
she gives me after burning herself. Drishti is happy
with her son & daughter along with Ankit, Deepak
is also doing fine, Darpan is also touching the sky
with Saumya, Dhanush & Akshit….. The letter ‘D’ is
very significant to me that’s why I love to write
‘C+D’, But now I know why I couldn’t live with them
because I’m a ‘C’ which can get love from only ‘C’
ie-Cigarette,….. I love you my dear Cigarette…… ”

Yaadi,” Oh great, Can you dedicate a song, this
time for all Ds & Cs, even for me Y………”

Jay,” Ya, I try…….”

Jay is in worst condition with Blood, he is
completely red but still he can’t deny when it
comes to music, whom he loves most, even more
than Cs & Ds, which he himself never know...............
He sings……..
Yaadi,” Bro, I’m in love with you too….. Say what
ever is in your heart, Complete it today…….”

Jay,” Bhai, Thanks for being with me……”
Yaadi,” I’m equally thankful to you… Now, I allow
you to go & love her, your 13th one…”

Jay,”I’m going but, I want to accept something.”
Yaadi,” Ya speak….”

Jay,” I love her, I love Drishti…… Bhai, whoever I
have loved is not with me……”

Yaadi,” Bhai, It’s not ture everyone has equally
loved you as well though it was never open….. Bhai,
Now Marry with your soul-mate……”

Jay,” Ya, I’m going to marry her (cigarette), At
least one thing is very clear, She replies me back
more I love her, more it takes me near to her iedeath,
I’m feeling joy of love in dying because of
her, my true lover. I could feel her pain in ash which
she gives me after burning herself. Drishti is happy
with her son & daughter along with Ankit, Deepak
is also doing fine, Darpan is also touching the sky
with Saumya, Dhanush & Akshit….. The letter ‘D’ is
very significant to me that’s why I love to write
‘C+D’, But now I know why I couldn’t live with them
because I’m a ‘C’ which can get love from only ‘C’
ie-Cigarette,….. I love you my dear Cigarette…… ”

Yaadi,” Oh great, Can you dedicate a song, this
time for all Ds & Cs, even for me Y………”

Jay,” Ya, I try…….”

Jay is in worst condition with Blood, he is
completely red but still he can’t deny when it
comes to music, whom he loves most, even more
than Cs & Ds, which he himself never know...............
He sings……..

Kahin se kahin ko bhi,
Aao bewajah chale,
Poochhe bina kisi se,
Hum mile…………….
Bandishe naa rahi koi baaqi,
Tum ho,
Tum ho paas mere, saath mere ho
Tum yun,
Jitna mehsoos karooon tumko, utna hi paa bhi loon
Ooooh hoo hoo...............................

He is crying but without any regret, just because he
is feeling joy, remembering his journey on Earth……

Jay,” Bhai usney (Drishti) kabhi mujhse pyaar
kiya tha…. Sach bataana……”

Yaadi,” Haan, Bhai vo tujhse bhi utna hi pyaar karti
thi jitna tuu usseiy, aur aaj bhi karti hai aur karti
rahegi……”

Jay,” Bhai mai useiy bahut khush rakhna chahta
tha, bhai mai uski goed me sar rakh kar aakhiri
saans lena chahta tha, Bhai vo mereiy marneiy par
mujhey dekhneiy aayegi, apni promise todkar.....??”

Yaadi,” Beshak, Bhai vo daudi chali aayegi, tu
beshak aaj mujhey choedkar jaa rha hai par jo
Jay abhi tak yahaan jiya hai vo khud ko yahaan
choedkar jaa rha hai, ham sab k beech, ham sab k
dilo me…. Bhai everyone loves you”

Jay,” Only, This I want to hear, Now I can die
loving her, Love you Mom & Dad, Love you
Saumya, Dhanush, Deepak, Darpan & Drishti, for
loving me…. Love you Yaadi too…..”

Yaadi,”I love you too & they too also…….”
Jay,” Bhai, now let me go alone with my
cigarette & no one else, Just I want to love her, only
she & me…. Now I have to go……”

Yaadi,” Bhai, Go I have no issues, Good Bye but
listen first, complete your promise, Your promise to
Drishti that in your last breathe, there will be all
everlasting love for her………”

Jay,” Are you asking me to sing again, for her?”
Yaadi,” Sing, If you can…….”

Jay,” So, Ok… Just for her, For Just One Word,
Love Let me try again……..

Tum ho toh, gata hai dil….
Tum nahin, toh geet kahan….
Tum ho toh, hai sab hasil….
Tum nahin, toh kya hai yahan….
Tum ho toh hai, sapno ke jaisa hasin….
Ek samaa…………………..
Jo tum ho toh, yeh lagtha hai….
Ke mil gayi har khushi….
Jo tum na ho, yeh lagtha hai….
Ke har khushi mein hai kami….
Tumko hai mangti…..
Yeh zindagii….”

& Suddenly he stops as his guitar strings get broken
by cutting his fingers, all with blood… He utters….

Jay,” Yaadi, Bhai Dekha na, ab to mera guitar
bhi saath choed gya, vo bhi chahta hai ki ab mai so
jaun hamesha k liye, shayad ussiey mera dard dekha
nhi jaata…….. ”

Yaadi,” Bhai vo bas ye chahta hai ki ab tere aur teri
cigarette k beech me koi na aaye…..”

Jay,” Chal Bhai Bas tera mera saath yahin tak
tha, Alvidaa…… Alvidaa mere Bhai agar tu na hota
to mai kab ka mar gya hota….. Alvida…. I love you..”
Yaadi,” Bhai mai tujhey kaafi miss karunga, I love
you too & miss you too……. Bhai ja apni maut jee
le…………”

Jay this time with full strength stands, comes to
the mirror & kisses himself & for the last time
utters……..
Jay,” Alvida, Mere Bhai………..”

Yaadi,” Alvida…….. Bhai you have lived for
Love, I’m proud of you & the whole world
should be……..”

Jay,” This time is for 13th one, Chal chalta hun…
Mujhey ab is cigarette se shaadi karni hai………….”

Yaadi,” Bhai fir tu kabhi nhi aayega, mujhse milney?
Kabhi nhi, haan???”

Jay just passes smile & moves towards Bedroom,
He logs-in again to his Facebook account, in
notifications there are 513 likes to his recent
updated status with 213 comments, He visits
Drishti’s profile & kisses her on screen, He is happy
to see her with his complete family, He Octides to
write his last status, He is typing……..

Mr Kapoor pauses the last video recording just to
see what he had typed in his last status……..

Jay now goes to bathroom, He fills the tub with
water, He lights his 13th cigarette, He is staring at it
continuously & now he enters in Bath-tub, He lies
down & starts kissing her, He is talking with his
cigarette……..

Jay,” Thanks for loving me, Not leaving me till
my last breathe…My whole life I fighted a lot for
which you had gifted me, Love…..”

Jay’s voice drops down, blood is still flowing, his
hands drop down with 13th cigarette gripped firmly
& still it is burning but he is no more……Clock shows
7:30 a.m……………….

This led to the end of all video recording session……

PROLOUGE CONTINUES…

“Oh My god! Oh no! Oh no! He is…… He is…… He
is………”, Mr Kapoor uttered…………

“………………..He is the lead Singer of the most
famous Music Band ‘DARPAN’, also the General
Manager of Jaypee Pvt. Ltd….He couldn’t die like
this….”, Mr Kapoor uttered…..

After seeing the video, The police men discuss with
each other about the case…..

Mr. Srivastav,” Oh, So sad, How much wrong are we
about the Love???”

Mr. Kapoor,” Sir, Whose fault was this? Was it
cigarette’s fault or Jay’s himself, or his love for
Drishti or his living devoid of any one in contact for
very long????? He was a great boy, Hats off to
him……”

Mr. Kapoor along with Mr. Srivastav salutes him,
mainly for his sacrifices…..
Mr. Srivastav,” God Knows, whose fault was this……”

Mr. Kapoor,” Should we send this copy to her,
Drishti………”

Mr. Srivastav,” No, Just Wait She will surely come if
she had loved him by heart, if she know the
meaning of Word, Love”…..
Mr. Srivastav then dismiss the further case
proceedings…………………………………………
The End
Feelings for her

Thanks a lot……

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author’s Note

 Author’s Note………………….

 

 

From the very beginning of our introduction to

this unknown world, the word that associates

itself with ourselves is “LOVE”, though some of

us remain devoid of it, their whole life. How

lucky we are encircled by our mother’s love

father’s love, teacher’s love, friend’s love……..

 

We should be thankful to the God for giving us

his presence in